Arsenality

Like it or not, Arsenal might be better off if he leaves

2010-07-20T14:10:00.001+01:00

With news of Eduardo setting off, talk of Little Jack staying here next season and Tomas Rosicky playing a part in the Barnet friendly, Wenger seems to be fine-tuning the attacking options in our squad to suit the current 4-3-3 system. The formation seems set to stay, and although I've voiced my concerns in the past about us dropping the old 4-4-2, I'm feeling slightly reassured by our preparations for the new campaign. Barcelona may be talking about class and respect via Carles Puyol's pedestal/cave as part of their latest Cesc Fabregas media pack, but at this club we've learnt not to put square pegs in round holes.

The selection of players at Wenger's disposal last season wasn't fully suited to the new strategy (this became clear as soon as Robin van Persie picked up his injury) and Eduardo seemed to be the biggest casualty of our switch in tactics. Now, with three tall strikers each expected to lead the line alone, link up play with the midfield and feed off the flanks, there doesn't seem to be a place for a forward in the Eduardo mould - an adept finisher who is at his best in a striking partnership alongside a target man. He looked uncomfortable cutting in from the wings, and didn't seem to provide the kind of service to our main striker that we might expect from Nasri or Arshavin.

I am a big fan of Eduardo and wish that things could have turned out differently for him at the Emirates, as he really seemed capable of becoming that missing ingredient when he joined back in 07-08. Sadly, as we are reminded far too often as Arsenal fans, there doesn't seem to be a place for technically proficient attacking players in domestic games where simpletons who weren't even good enough for the England defence are concerned, and now there doesn't seem to be a role in our new set-up which can get the best out of Eduardo. I'll be sorry to see him leave, but I think he's making the right decision in going and I hope he can get back to his best at Shakhtar.

In addition to Carlos Vela - for whom the jury is still out regarding a place on the left wing - the players in our squad who are more accustomed to flanking the strikers will benefit from Eduardo's departure. Rosicky has shown signs in recent months that he may be close to a return to form, and he will almost certainly see more playing time if he can stay fit. Unlike last year, Walcott didn't get up to much over the summer and should be fresh in a month's time, while Samir Nasri will have a point to prove to Raymond the poodle after his bizarre exclusion from the France squad. Best of all, we might not have to watch Andrei Arshavin play as a target man again.

Barcarmageddon (?): What to do if your best player leaves

2010-05-21T11:56:00.003+01:00

I for one think that Fabregas will go, particularly after his usual Barca-question-dodging gave way to that comment about sorting out his future before the World Cup. However, we don't really know what's going on behind the scenes, so there's not much point in speculating about the validity of the stories until one of these rather well-informed journalists remembers to pick up a quote... For now, he's still an Arsenal player.

But I couldn't help thinking about what we should do if he does leave. I know I'm not the only one who had already been wondering about a switch back to 4-4-2, but Wenger has made it abundantly clear that the system is built around Fabregas and our 270 wide/in the hole players.

What got me leaning slightly towards the old formation was my flatmate's recent purchase of the Arsenal season review DVDs for 2002-2006 and the subsequent nostalgiafest for the three Gooners in the house. The teams Wenger put out back then - arguably his best - were all based on a conventional 4-4-2 (at times perhaps 4-4-1-1, usually when Dennis was playing) but, as we all know, had the technique and flair to fashion their own brand of attacking football around it. There was Vieira stamping his authority all over the midfield, Gilberto keeping everything nice and tidy in front of the defence, Pires and Ljungberg wreaking absolute havoc as they cut in from the wings. Henry had support all around him - needless to say Bergkamp made sure of that at all times - and the back four was well protected by our disciplined central midfield. Watching those highlights and reacquainting ourselves with those absolute legends, seeing them winning comfortably almost weekly and putting on masterclass after masterclass, we wondered if Wenger's pursuit of quasi-total football would ever bear the same fruit.

Obviously, the less said about the end of 02-03 the better, but I couldn't help noticing how much more clinical that team was. One of the main reasons why the formation worked so well back then was that our flamboyant attack was complemented by both a rigid adherence to the system and a willingness to get back and defend a couple times when off the ball. Of course, the team wasn't quite perfect and had its lapses just like any other. But the players knew their positions and their roles, and were slightly more adept at keeping to them than the current crop.

I should also add that the physical difference really is noticeable. Take the Invincibles - the starting lineup only ever had one or two players below six feet, and there was strength and pace all over the pitch. Gilberto and Lauren weren't known for being real heavyweights, but stick them with the likes of Campbell, Vieira and Henry and you get the kind of athleticism we see today in the modern Chelsea teams. It's rare to find players like that who have such a deadly combination of skill and physical presence, but Arsene managed it.

There were two main reasons for changing to 4-3-3. First, other teams had sussed how to play against us - put out two banks of four and you shut down the strikers' entire supply. Second, Cesc Fabregas had become playmaker and, as we have seen this season, he can be almost unstoppable at the top of the midfield three.

However, the new system seems to have marginalised some of our other players. Eduardo's struggle to regain form hasn't been helped by having to return to an alien formation, and it seems like he is at his best up front with another striker - as is Carlos Vela, who has had his moments on the left wing but only really excels leading the line. Walcott has found some good form in the last couple of months but he seems to hit opposition defences harder when attacking from a slightly deeper position on the right, while Arshavin has proven himself on the flanks in both formations.

Watching Fabregas playing in these old teams, you realise that he can more than manage in a 4-4-2. At 17 years of age and well off the shape he's in now, he was bossing the midfield and playing perfect through-ball after perfect through-ball just like he is six years on. He earned his stripes by playing as a centre-midfielder (and, at times, right-midfielder) alongside the likes of Gilberto, Ljungberg, Pires, and Henry, playing in a system where he was not the chief playmaker but flourishing nonetheless. Although there's no doubt he has been sensational in an advanced role in a 4-3-3, it's clear that he can manage in a midfield four, and the 2007-8 season showed that he can get the goals regardless of the team's formation around him. Of course, this is only worth considering if we're the club that actually has him next year.

But this leads me on to the other factor in our change of tactics. Why would 4-4-2 work now if the other teams figured out how to break us down last time?

The difference is in players like Samir Nasri, Aaron Ramsey, Tomas Rosicky and, to a lesser extent, Andrei Arshavin. Pires and Ljungberg were legends in their own right, but we now have a legion of midfielders who are arguably the world's best at knocking the ball around for hours on end. With the clear exception of the matches against Barcelona (an exception which we will have to tolerate - let's be honest, they've pretty much outgrown football as a sport now) we have dominated almost all of our opposition in terms of possession. I believe that to place Nasri, Rosicky or Arshavin on the wing of a four-man midfield would do no damage to our ability to keep hold of the ball; and with a striker on the inside of each flank, our buildup play would allow us to open up into more threatening positions than we would from passing it back and forth along the 18-yard line with half a dozen players shutting us out. Additionally, a genuine 4-4-1-1 (rather than a reconceptualised 4-3-3) would give us the chance to push Arshavin forward into his ideal role and cause mayhem behind the out-and-out striker.

Of course, with Robin van Persie, Nicklas Bendtner, Eduardo and Carlos Vela all keen on a central forward role - and with the likely addition of Marouane Chamakh this summer - it seems difficult to accommodate them all without changing back to a 4-4-2. Arguably it makes sense to retain a front three so as to make use of their respective versatility. However, it has become clear that, by fielding players of their nature in the wide roles, we end up exposing our full-backs - or just exposing our entire flanks, when there's no cover for marauding wing-backs like Clichy and Eboue.

The old formation seemed to play to our strengths on the overlap. Clichy and Sagna were racking up assists in the 07-08 season, and the decline of this part of their game has been most pronounced. I can't help wondering whether this really is entirely due to the undoubted fall in the quality of their crossing, as there is still a considerable difference between choosing from two strikers who can pull their markers out of position and having to seek out one striker who is being forced beyond reach.

Regardless of whether Fabregas leaves, I really think a switch in formation is worth considering. There is certainly a strong case to be made for 4-3-3 and at times it has worked very well, but to me 4-4-2 seems both defensively safer and likely to give us further options going forward. I've put up a poll on the side so you can vote for one of the two systems, and feel free to add your thoughts below. After that, get outside, enjoy the sun and try to forget the rumours for a few minutes - can't be thinking about Cesc every seven seconds.

Five problems which Wenger MUST address before next season

2010-04-19T14:47:00.005+01:00

These are a few points which I feel need to be brought up today, not just because of the Wigan game but because of certain flaws which have manifested themselves for much of the campaign and have been behind our recent collapse.

1. The goalkeeping situation is serious. We cannot afford to have two first-team goalkeepers like Almunia and Fabianski, neither of whom would get a look in at a top six club, performing so poorly and almost constantly making mistakes. It is highly unlikely that both will leave this summer and, unfortunately, it is even possible that both will stay. But both of them have stood in the way of several results this season and it isn't at all like Arsenal to have two goalkeepers costing the team so many points rather than winning them. Almunia is the elder and supposedly at his peak so in some respects it seems more sensible to let him go; however, this would require bringing in a very good goalkeeper who could slot into the first team immediately. Selling him only to promote Fabianski would not be a productive move, and it is clear that real quality is needed between the sticks next year. Anything less than one in, one out would most likely be a failure.

2. A reliable midfielder is needed to supplement our current options. Several members of our midfield cannot play without experienced first-team players around them (with the possible exception of Aaron Ramsey and the wavering Samir Nasri when out of position), and Abou Diaby is a main offender. He has at last shown his quality this season but his form nosedives without the likes of Fabregas, van Persie and Song around him, and his attitude is largely to blame. His body language is simply unacceptable at times: head dropped and shaking, shoulders slumped, face hanging with the expression of a teenaged X Factor reject. He has shown that he can play very well as part of a virtually full-strength first XI, but he cannot be relied upon if he isn't surrounded by the players who bring out the best in him. He is nearly 24 and should be showing far more maturity, without which he will never be a spine player for Arsenal; I believe he should be kept on because of what he brings to the team, but Wenger must realise that Diaby cannot function in an otherwise makeshift midfield. A player who can play in both the holding and box-to-box midfield roles - a fairly experienced one with true quality - is needed to address this and ensure that our midfield is stronger next season when the injuries begin.

3. Mikael Silvestre should not stay on next season. Again, he is not the only one to blame for our poor recent form, but the moments of ineptitude have really piled up and become damaging. Wenger has said that Silvestre is a big influence in the dressing room, but I have seen little evidence of this on the pitch. Many of the younger players already demonstrate far better communication than the Frenchman, and his work-rate in recent matches would have been barely acceptable in the pre-season friendly at Barnet. I wasn't particularly keen on him being signed from United in the first place, but was willing to accept that he could do his bit as a back-up player. However, Ferguson's decision to sell him for a small fee has proven a wise one, as he has clearly been on the wane ever since he arrived. He will be 33 next season; at this age any central defender will be losing his fitness, but one with the quality to play in the Champions League will still have the defensive nous to stay near the top of his game. Sadly, Silvestre has not shown enough of either since he arrived and simply won't cut it at a club of our stature next season. If Arsenal let him go, I doubt we'll see any team in the top half of the table showing much interest.

4. Conversely, Sol Campbell - three years his senior - really should stay on. His pace isn't exactly electrifying but his general fitness is absolutely superb for someone of his age, and the technical side of his game is as good as ever. Most importantly, he can play to our standard while adding certain characteristics which the rest of the team often lacks in the tricky games: confidence, commitment, passion and pride. It is unlikely that he will maintain his current standards all the way through the next 13 months, but he offers more than enough to merit at least back-up status. With Gallas' future at the club uncertain (the Frenchman being another defender who must stay on next season after excelling all year and developing a highly effective partnership with Thomas Vermaelen), the renewal of Campbell's contract is important if we are to maintain consistency in this position.

5. We must plan not only for the next game, but for the matches following. Wenger has made some questionable decisions this season, not least waiting to bring on Robin van Persie, a player who has missed five months of football and who needed a good run around before a couple of fairly big fixtures, until after we had thrown away our two goal lead at Wigan. But I believe a massive turning point was the match against Wolves, in which he fielded all four of our remaining fit centre-backs and both of our holding midfielders. Sol Campbell should have been rested for the away leg against Barcelona, a match that would have been tremendously important for him and in which Mikael Silvestre was poor in his place. Silvestre should have played in the centre against Wolves with Armand Traore on the left; Traore's crossing (arguably the best out of all our full-backs) and ability to hit opponents with pace could have helped to wrap up the win earlier than the 94th minute. Instead, Campbell was too tired for Barcelona, Vermaelen played in yet another match when a rest could have helped to prevent his eventual injury at Spurs, and Alex Song picked up a knock which ruled him out for the last few games - two of these problems could have been prevented on the day. Wenger's policy of focussing the players only on their next match is a sensible and professional one; however, he is the manager and should himself be planning ahead.

At least we'll learn from it... right?

2010-04-15T14:17:00.001+01:00

I will have to bring myself to admit that we just weren't good enough to beat Tottenham. Another daft defeat, a bit like when we lost to Sunderland and that Darren Bent chap...

We had no excuses. Both teams had suffered several injuries. The referee did nothing wrong, and there wasn't even a villain of the piece among the Tottenham players.

The introduction of Robin van Persie had an enormous impact, and it frustrates me that he was brought on in the 68th minute when he was clearly needed 10 minutes earlier, presumably held back to prevent another Gallas incident. Had he not come on, we would have passed it aimlessly around the outskirts of their third for a solid half-hour and achieved little; when he was brought on, we at last threatened to score.

Van Persie brought our play forward and helped to bring others into the game - most notably Theo Walcott after the winger had struggled to reach long through-balls from further back, and Nicklas Bendtner after he had been marked out of long periods of the game. The latter scored yet again and at least showed that he can still keep poaching in matches where he has been otherwise average. Van Persie himself came close with an exceptional chest-volley and an almost perfect free-kick, both of which were met with very good saves.

Samir Nasri was on the ball more often than it seemed but simply wasn't given the options, meaning that when Emmanuel Eboue or Tomas Rosicky received a decent enough pass they were then punished by Spurs for dallying or not finding space. He wasn't one of our worst performers last night and he worked hard, but Nasri and the other central players didn't click with each other and clearly he is, for the time being, more effective playing out wide.

We dominated possession, but our strength in going forward and playing the passing game seems utterly futile when each time we lose the ball we are thrown into disarray at the back. This team is constantly on the idiomatic brink but I don't think we will win silverware while our second choice in the holding role is Denilson, our back-up at centre-back is Mikael Silvestre and, of course, Manuel Almunia is in goal.

Denilson has never really turned up for a big game and was lacking last night; he sits too far up the pitch for someone who is among our slowest players, he doesn't look nearly as committed when tracking back as he is when helping with our build-up play (or, as was the case several times last night, trying to help but lightly tapping short passes to an opponent) and if he has any specialty other than long shots it surely isn't for defending. Mikael Silvestre was being mocked by people in my local who support Southampton and Stoke, and I doubt that he is giving us much more than we would get from the kind of centre-backs that Southampton face every week. Last night we saw little pace, little communication and little commitment, and the fact that he is one of few players in our team who can kind of mark an opponent is no reason to keep him on. Thomas Vermaelen wasn't outstanding in the first twenty minutes but he was stronger than Silvestre on all of those fronts, and he showed his tenacity again by throwing himself at an early shot like Didier Drogba to a soft piece of turf. Manuel Almunia made yet another big mistake and I'm struggling now to think of a game this season when he hasn't made one, whether it was punished or not. A weak punch, a slip, and a strange attempt at a save - he made a good block later on but an Arsenal goalkeeper should be making both the good saves and the easy saves.

The full-backs both had good games and Gael Clichy was one of the best players on the pitch, dominating the left flank. Bakary Sagna was mostly effective out wide against Gareth Bale, who has been exceptional lately, but it was his dreadful playground positioning that let Bale in for their second goal - an uncharacteristic yet unforgivable lapse in concentration. Sol Campbell was again the heart and soul of our team, certainly our strongest performer, and he simply didn't deserve to be on the losing side. He was screaming at his team-mates like a man possessed, muscling his opponents off the ball and doing everything a classic centre-back should do. He will begin to show his age eventually but after yet another strong performance I think he should be given a contract for next season.

Our midfield was unconvincing and Denilson wasn't the only one who disappointed. Abou Diaby was back to his former self, the player that 12 months ago span around the middle of the park in a daze and spilt possession. A couple of good dribbles were offset by several bad touches and weak passes which on another night could have been extremely destructive, and his body language said it all. Both Tomas Rosicky and Emmanuel Eboue were heavily involved and each had one or two moments of brilliance; however, they were ultimately inadequate going forward, and some strange decision-making cost us what would have led to two or three unmissable opportunities.

I won't go into too much depth regarding the Spurs team, but a few things were worth a mention. Gomes was superb and it actually came as something of a surprise when Bendtner scored following a series of world-class saves - full credit to him, the Brazilian deserved a clean sheet. Both Dawson and King were impressive, particularly the former, and I would hope that the success of Tottenham's defence this year has got Wenger thinking about his own options at the back. Danny Rose was generally decent and while it would be naive to think that he was one of their best players, he struck that shot as cleanly as they come and regardless of the goalkeeping it was an outstanding goal. Many Tottenham fans I know have said they were poor as a team, which was true to an extent, but at the back they were too strong for us.

Yes, it is annoying. The title has gone from being a slight possibility to a distant dream, but we have to push on and win our remaining (all winnable) fixtures, hoping at least that United will drop points against City this weekend and continue their poor run. Chelsea can't really blow it now, but every game still counts and the boys have to play for the points if not pride.

Second place would be a damn sight better than what most people were expecting this season - the same would go for third place - and the most important thing is that we should finish this season with Champions League qualification out of the way. When Kolo Toure and Emmanuel Adebayor were sold to the team tipped to knock us out of the top four, we were completely written off, but we ended up challenging Chelsea and United for the league title and it is clear that we have made genuine progress.

Let's learn from last night, strengthen up again in the summer, and start North London's next red decade.

The pre-match interviewee from hell?

2010-04-12T18:51:00.000+01:00

(Sketch)

"Stop, stop, stop!"

The Sky Sports producer stormed into the studio, slamming a clipboard to the floor. "Mister Redknapp, you will have to stop swearing or I'm afraid I'll have to end this interview."

Redknapp shifted in his seat and straightened his tie, his ample belly flopping from one thigh onto the other. "Joke is what this is. Back when I was playing there was none of this P.C. boll-"

"We'll be airing this interview well before the watershed, Mister Redknapp. Please just tone it down."

The Tottenham manager sighed, his cheeks flapping. "I tell you what, if this is the way it's going to be before all these televised games, I'll go back to a proper team like Portsmouth."

"Yes, and that's another thing. Please answer the questions you've been given, you've mentioned Portsmouth enough today."

"But -"

"I don't think the Portsmouth management will appreciate you talking about David James and Nadir Belhadj several months before a transfer window. Please stick to Tottenham Hotspur and Arsenal."

Redknapp poked his interviewer in the rib and gestured towards the producer with a chunky thumb. The interviewer grimaced disapprovingly as the Tottenham manager mouthed 'wanker' and made an unsavoury gesture with his other hand.

The producer adjusted his earpiece as he made his way towards the studio door, barking his orders to the rest of the floor. "Kirsty, get the make-up people back out here, we'll need a lot more on him. Lighting, dim the lights a bit."

A lighting technician scurried after the producer, baffled. "Boss, there's already complete darkness behind him. The viewers won't be able to see a thing if these pre-match interviews get any darker."

"Yes," the producer whispered. "But if we keep it like this he's going to frighten the younger viewers. Just do it."

He left the set as two make-up girls rushed to Redknapp's side holding thick paintbrushes; they promptly began to slop generous layers of foundation across the manager's face. Evading a pinch on the buttocks and ignoring an inappropriate remark, a third girl endeavoured to part and brush his hair into a semblance of a hairstyle.

In the meantime, the interviewer decided to pursue light conversation with the Tottenham manager. "So any plans for the summer, Harry?"

"Oh y'know, I'll be making the boys stay and train for a few extra weeks. Some of 'em need a kick up the backside, they need old-school, traditional management."

The interviewer humoured the manager's boast with a nod.

"Yep, no nonsense, me." Redknapp leaned back, closing his eyes as the make-up girl applied sealant to his pockmarks.

"So I've heard," the interviewer replied. "Have you and your family got anything planned?"

"Well, we've got some more work lined up with Nintendo to promote the Wii. All that family crap, y'know," he scoffed as he rolled his eyes. "You should see the money they're willing to dish out though, it's great pay." He pressed a finger to his grinning lips and lowered his voice. "Just don't tell Revenue & Customs..."

The interviewer was incensed. "Mister Redknapp, I really must -"

The Tottenham manager laughed and shushed him.

"Mister Redknapp, will you please keep still!" The second make-up girl, who had been frantically trying to keep up with his rapid facial movements, was at the end of her tether. "I can't do my job if your face keeps moving like that."

Redknapp sat upright and lowered his hand. "Sorry love, I'll stop talking."

The make-up girl was holding her forehead in frustration and trying to remain calm. "It's not the talking that's the problem."

The producer returned to the set. "Right, all finished?"

The make-up girls stepped away from their project and shrugged, visibly irked. The producer glanced at Redknapp; seeing only minor improvement, he sighed and looked resigned to a drop in standards. "Let's get back to it then."

The producer and crew cleared the floor and the lights were lowered; the interview resumed.

"So, Harry: Tottenham will be facing Arsenal tonight having suffered defeat in their last league game at Sunderland, partly thanks to former Spurs striker Darren Bent. What are your thoughts on his change in fortunes this season?"

Redknapp paused briefly, carefully weighing up the question in his mind.

"Well, crap player at a crap club."

"Stop!"

(As far as I'm aware, Harry Redknapp has not been involved in any financial irregularities... Come on you Gunners!)

Arsenal were wounded yet proud, Barcelona shameless yet brilliant

2010-04-07T15:32:00.000+01:00

Credit where it's due: Lionel Messi was simply incredible last night, and Barcelona on the whole deserved to win the tie. Against any other team, we would have got away with some of our defensive lapses, but there was no chance against Messi on that kind of form. Ronaldo and Rooney might perform in the big games, but that was something else - I smell another FIFA World Player of the Year Award, and no complaints there.

Barcelona as a team were superior in every way. Almost two-thirds possession, twice as many completed passes, four times our number of shots on target - a tremendous feat against a team renowned for dominating matches, with the possible exception of the latter statistic. As Nicklas Bendtner said, if Arsenal were to lose a match then surely it should be against Barcelona, a team that played it our way and then some.

Of course, that isn't to say I wasn't livid at the end of a first half littered with incidents that better pundits than Sky's would have picked up on. Gabriel Milito used dirty tactics to get the better of Theo Walcott in the early stages, not least supplementing a ball-winning challenge with a thumping kick on the other ankle. Sergio Busquets, who you'd expect would give the Barca midfield some beef next to the likes of Xavi and Iniesta, was using any challenge by an opponent as a diving board for his beautiful tuck somersaults. Bojan Krkic was throwing his weedy frame all over the place, at one point theatrically checking that no blood had seeped through his make-up after he bottled out of a header against Thomas Vermaelen. Even Lionel Messi was guilty of play-acting at one point - I would have more respect for him after his performance had he not conned the already confusable referee into booking Denilson for the best challenge of the match.

Denilson's booking might have been insignificant. However, for the closest thing to a man-marker in a team which pointedly refused to man-mark the Catalans - one whose role was to plug the gap between our defence and midfield, of which the other key occupant was, I'm sure purely by coincidence, the little Argentinian himself - to pick up a yellow card in the early stages of the match may actually have been quite damaging to our chances. Lionel Messi was kept quiet at the Emirates largely by Alex Song until the Cameroonian was booked towards the end of the first half of that match; a couple of minutes later, Denilson took over Song's role successfully.

I say this now because, on a night where a player of Messi's brilliance hadn't risen to the occasion and not so much stolen the headlines as ransacked the paper's headquarters, beaten every journalist present senseless and plundered the editor's office, a European match such as this could well have been decided by diving, dirty challenges and easily swayed officials. Most of Europe has been aware of Wolfgang Stark's ineptitude for some time, and after the Chelsea-Inter tie in the previous round he has very much made his mark on this year's competition; on several occasions last night, he literally waited to hear the crowd's reaction before making his decision, and the Nou Camp is no place for an aurally impressionable referee. The theatrics, the sly extra knocks that come with otherwise legitimate challenges, the overly sensitive and sensory officiating - it all has to stop. (I am in no way implying that our own players are angels - a neutral could say that Emmanuel Eboue got a taste of his own medicine last night, or that Mikael Silvestre was at one point pestering the referee like Didier Drogba on ecstasy - but in European competition the opposition is often far worse and Barcelona were guilty of it in both legs... particularly Sergio Busquets.)

Anyway, enough of that - we were outclassed and Barcelona deserved to win, so good luck to them. Onto our boys:

Almunia made some good saves and put in a fairly decent performance; most notably, he wasn't really at fault for any of the goals. On his day he might have kept out one of the last two, but no goalkeeper could have been expected to outperform Messi last night. He did neither more nor less than expected.

The full-backs did well on the whole. Gael Clichy was one of our outstanding performers, carrying on from a good display in the first leg by dominating on the left. Aside from a couple of frustrated potshots at goal, he was productive going forward. Conversely, Sagna was pinned back but worked tirelessly to shut them out down our right flank. Having moved to centre-back, he had little (in more ways than one) to deal with but coped well - certainly better than...

Mikael Silvestre. He can't be blamed, and although the first goal came about after his poor first touch he didn't make what could be described as mistakes. However, he looked slow both physically and mentally, and was made to look very average against the Barcelona forwards when a centre-back with more quality (William Gallas or, perhaps, Sol Campbell) would have done more to keep them out. Thomas Vermaelen wasn't at his best, and clearly wasn't comfortable on the right side of Almunia - after their last outing together it seemed more sensible to play Vermaelen on the left and Silvestre on the right in this match.

Denilson did well in the first half but afterwards was understandably reticent to get stuck in after an undeserved yellow card. His lack of pace again showed and it has become clear that he needs to improve on this if he is to perform against the bigger teams. Abou Diaby had another mixed game - dispossessing an opponent on the halfway line and playing Walcott through to help set up Bendtner's goal was his biggest contribution, but this could have been matched moments later if he had chosen the same pass. He went off on a couple of good runs but gave possession away several times. Samir Nasri started brightly in Cesc's role but faded considerably as the game developed; he was simply overwhelmed by Xavi, Busquets and Keita.

Tomas Rosicky had a poor game, and was often on the periphery - either failing to show up when we were counter-attacking because he was still in our third, or failing to show up when our opponents were counter-attacking because he was still in their third. His yellow card seemed a touch unfair, and like Denilson the heart seemed to go out of his performance after it. Theo Walcott started well and had the Barcelona defence soiling themselves, and had Diaby played him through immediately after our goal it could have been our young winger in the headlines today; more frustrating still, the second half of the match was like 2007 all over again, with his teammates ignoring him at every turn. Nicklas Bendtner did all he could with the inconsistent service he received, and as usual contributed with intelligent runs and positioning. Some poor first touches let him down, but he took his goal brilliantly and should by now receive the recognition he deserves in other quarters as a striker to worry about.

And that's that. The boys will have to get their chins back up if we're to have any hope of challenging for the league; especially away at Spurs, where any defeat would hurt far more than a thrashing at the Nou Camp. Four goals by David Bentley, I think not.

Henry... shut up about Arsenal

2010-04-05T17:58:00.004+01:00

Karl Henry has lent us his professional opinion on the incident that saw him sent off at the Emirates.

"It was never a red card, it is an absolute disgrace. He is up and running around two minutes later," claimed the Wolves captain, who insists that he has since watched the replays of his challenge. "Arsenal moan a lot and their players go down like a sack of spuds."

Yes Karl, players are usually capable of little else when an opponent has flown in from behind with both feet, particularly when the offending player simply crashes into both shins as the ball is safely on the other side of his victim. So I suppose you should feel lucky that he actually was up and running around two minutes later.

"They get hit hard, like any other clubs do, and we are hearing about it for weeks and weeks."

At the risk of sounding repetitive to anyone in touch with modern football, a team that has suffered three leg breaks due to such challenges in the last four years - as well as countless other injuries such as the knock Fabregas picked up only a week ago at Birmingham - will probably object to coming up against yet more dangerous play from yet another technically deficient simpleton. You should have learnt from George Boateng's mistake a few weeks ago.

"I have gone in to win it, Rosicky has gone across me to shield the ball. By that time, I have already gone to ground."

Perhaps the referee interpreted that as a very poorly timed challenge? Daft, I know.

"When they are rolling around getting people sent off, it makes you not want to see them do so well."

I imagine that must drive you crazy, Karl. After all, Theo Walcott spent a considerable amount of time rolling around in vain after you threw yourself in from behind, stamped on his leg with the ball at least five feet away, watched the ball roll clear, then dug your studs in further.

While I shan't object to his complaint that our players surrounded the referee (although this was arguably defensible considering the context, I have a problem with players such as Didier Drogba harrassing the referee for 60 minutes per match and will therefore lay off Henry's other comments lest I appear hypocritical), I find it incredible that he genuinely believes he has done nothing wrong.

Tomas Rosicky could have been badly injured had Henry's foot/knee/shin/studs been even a millimeter away from his impeccably struck 'target', and to spout all this nonsense before any potential appeal seems nothing short of bizarre.

Wolves, then Barca, then Spurs - the plan?

2010-04-02T11:18:00.000+01:00

So just when it looked like the squad could at last enter a critical stage in the season with a few healthy players, three of the most important members of our team - quite possibly THE three most important members of our team of late - are out for the long term. It's just unbelievable.

Wenger took a gamble on their fitness against Barcelona, but I don't blame him. The medical team advised him that Fabregas and Gallas were ready, and it's natural for a player to pick up a series of knocks after one long injury; both had suffered exactly that in recent months.

So for the Wolves game, our squad will look something like this:

Almunia, Fabianski
Sagna, Eboue, Campbell, Vermaelen, Silvestre, Clichy, Traore
Song, Denilson, Diaby, Nasri, Eastmond
Rosicky, Walcott, Bendtner, Eduardo

I don't expect to see either Vela or Merida on the list because I imagine that somewhere in the furthest corner of the Colney training complex, the door to a disused cleaner's closet is being sporadically kicked by the sources of gradually weakening, still frantic, but heavily muffled cries for help. Merida for his contractual flip-flopping, Vela after catching whatever virus Giovani dos Santos has been carrying.

It would be wise to rest both Campbell and Vermaelen for this one, as I'm sure I'm not the only one who doesn't fancy seeing Mikael Silvestre start at the Nou Camp having not even made the bench on Wednesday. A back four of Eboue, Song, Silvestre and Traore would do it for me against Wolves, although the most likely deviation from that would be Clichy at left-back.

Therefore the midfield three should be Denilson, Diaby and Nasri (this might be a trial run if Wenger is considering playing Song at centre-back and Denilson in the holding role against Barcelona, a switch that has often cropped up in his more attacking line-ups), while the front three is less easy to predict. The manager's policy of no more than three changes to a starting XI would stipulate that the forward line should look as similar as possible to that which faced the previous team. That said, I would like to see Rosicky, Eduardo and Walcott in there (keeping Walcott out of harm's way would seem sensible but I don't see that happening) as Bendtner will be crucial in midweek. We can at least be sure that Wenger will be keeping one eye on the Spurs game in less than two weeks.

Lastly, may I draw your attention to the sidebar where in light of the Martin O'Neill stories I have put up a poll for the next Arsenal manager you'd like to see when Wenger finally hangs up those regrettably short shorts. Keep in mind that he's 60 and probably has one or two contracts left in him, although his current deal ends in 2011. I've tried to make the list fairly comprehensive so it's a mixed bag - let me know if you think I've left anyone out.

Have a good day and enjoy tomorrow's match!

The best match yet at the Emirates?

2010-04-01T17:45:00.004+01:00

I watched last night's match in the company of a Chelsea fan, a Spurs fan, and a Manchester United fan; I thought it best they experience a proper football match for a change.

The first half was almost entirely Barcelona, and after 30 minutes a little box popped up on the screen with the most un-Arsenal-like statistic I have ever seen: possession 30% home, 70% away. There's no denying that our opponents were brilliant at the start.

Much like the first leg of last season's semi-final at Old Trafford, Almunia kept us in it, but I haven't seen a goalkeeping performance like the one he produced in the first half for a long time. I was out of the room fetching a beer when I heard a thirty-second explosion of gasps, cheers, shouts and even applause; and having sprinted back to see what had brought about all the fuss only to be informed that Manuel Almunia had just produced a moment of sheer goalkeeping genius, I imagined myself the victim of an April Fool's joke performed with such prematurity and lack of imagination that the recent words of a certain Chelsea full-back's former conquest sprang to mind. But the replay showed Almunia throwing himself like a man possessed at shot after shot, with the obligatory post-incident camera zoom-in on our triumphant keeper reminding me of Vito Mannone's performance at Fulham rather than the moments of malcoordinated flapping that have at times seemingly blighted our title challenge. He was just superb.

I can only imagine that the sight of Jens Lehmann being interviewed on the touchline and praising Almunia's performance as he would a two-year-old's completion of a meal was what turned the 45-minutes-young Casillas-alike back into the goalkeeper we are more familiar with. He went off for a late evening stroll outside his 6-yard-box only to see Ibrahimovic rapidly approaching, and by the time the Swede had scooped the ball into the air it was inevitable: that familiar sight of Almunia wading lethargically after a looping shot only to tumble along with it into the back of his net. A frustrating end to a dazzling performance, even more so that we were the first team in the history of football to let Zlatan Ibrahimovic look half-decent in a big match.

Thankfully, Victor Valdes wasn't to be outdone. The introduction of Theo Walcott in place of Bakary Sagna was predictable not only in its execution but in its effect, and the young winger was soon catching Maxwell out and causing mayhem down the right flank. The goal was lucky but deserved, considering Walcott's impact on the game; and having previously had almost nothing to do except for let Bendtner head the ball straight at him, Valdes responded to his first real challenge by letting it squeeze under his arm. It was to be expected.

Emmanuel Eboue was combining devastatingly well with Walcott down our right side (save for one or two spilt passes), Nicklas Bendtner was doing everything right except for scoring with some near-perfect positioning and constant harrassment of their centre-backs, while Samir Nasri continued to grow into the game after narrowly missing earlier on with a curled shot. Meanwhile, Gael Clichy showed Maxwell that a left-back can in fact add to his attacking wing play by remembering his defensive duties.

Alex Song thrived at centre-back just as he had in the holding role (which was successfully handed over to a thankfully solid Denilson), and his closing down was crucial in holding off the Barcelona forwards late in the first half - William Gallas had been less convincing in this respect, although such caution was clearly understandable. I must point out, however, that a good performance by Song was stained slightly by a fairly childish response to the awarding of a Barcelona free-kick, and if we are lucky enough to reach the semi-finals that yellow could come back to haunt us.

Cesc Fabregas perhaps wasn't one of our stand-out performers and was particularly quiet in the first half, but he improved considerably after Walcott's introduction and he took his penalty well. If he really was injured before the spot-kick, he is harder than he's given credit for; although Wenger maybe should have taken him off once we saw how badly he was hobbling. Perhaps we can be a bit less worried about the inevitable Barcelona stories this summer after seeing our frustrated captain battling like a technically able Joey Barton against the likes of Sergio Busquets.

The referee had been poor all night, and our opponents simply had to hit the deck crying like toddlers to win free-kicks. However, the continental diver-referee love-in went to new disgraceful extremes when Fabregas was booked for an immaculate challenge, indeed one of the best of the match. I have just found out that he is injured for the rest of the season - more on that next time - but to miss the second leg after that yellow card would have been ridiculous.

However, the ref eventually abandoned his Catalan lovers for the team in the ascendancy and, incredibly, we finally won a set-piece. Admittedly it seemed like a soft one and I might not have expected it in England, but it was definitely a foul and had to be given. Whether Carlos Puyol should have been sent off is less certain; but with both him and Pique out of the second leg, Victor Valdes will have to buck his ideas up when we travel to the Nou Camp.

(Deep breath...) Get behind Almunia on Wednesday

2010-03-28T11:54:00.002+01:00

I know I might get slaughtered for this but someone really has to say it.

Manuel Almunia cost us two vital points yesterday to put us in a difficult position in the title race, capping a poor season from the Spaniard which he will finish with an ex-footballer's Christmas bloopers DVD's worth of howlers to his name. But we need to forget about the mistake until the end of the season if we are to have any chance of winning something.

I want to reiterate that I am as frustrated as everyone else with what happened yesterday; my sofa took more of a frenzied yet impressively sustained pummeling than it did during my last 'adventurous' foray beyond the bedroom. Yes, Almunia had a very good season in 2008/09, and yes, that is no longer a satisfactory defence after eight months of goalkeeping which a relegation team would have rewarded with a swift and permanent drop to the bench. Wenger has kept faith in him whenever he has been fit this season, and he has responded with a few good games and some crucial saves - from a penalty in our last Premiership match against West Ham when down to ten men, for example - but overall the cons have outweighed the pros and more points have been feebly dropped than saved by the Spaniard. I share the widespread sentiment that Wenger needs to seriously consider a change between the sticks next season.

However, the fact of the matter is that we play what could be the defining game of the season on Wednesday and attacking Almunia now will do no good. Lucasz Fabianski will not be called up, and personally I don't want a Champions League quarter final against Barcelona to be the next big game the Pole plays in anyway. We all know what happens if Almunia's confidence takes a knock - an unfortunate trait of his, and not exactly the hallmark of a great goalkeeper - so it makes no sense disparaging him now when it could only serve to provoke another howler in mid-week. Wenger won't drop him before the end of this season, so unfortunately we will have to put on a brave face and support him.

So those who will be lucky enough to attend Wednesday's game: despite your frustration, please encourage him. He needs it - and thrives on it - more than most of the players in our team. We don't want another booing episode to drag us through all the lazy back page columns again, and voicing your dissatisfaction won't make Wenger drop him. Shout his last name as loudly as possible when the line-up is called out, enthusiastically applaud any easy save he makes from a loose ball or tame shot even if such saves are made around the country daily on school playgrounds, hell - even sing his name to the tune of La Donna E Mobile if you can bear it.

Just don't do it when he comes out flapping...

Some interesting news for Arsenal fans and a look at today's team

2010-03-27T13:19:00.001Z

The cover of today's Telegraph sport section features the title 'Why Zola's West Ham bubble is about to burst' - over a picture of the Hammers manager, eyes closed, head in hands, whitehead on nose. Cruel.

Wenger seems to be ignoring the Barcelona game for now, with the strongest possible team likely to appear at St. Andrews in a couple of hours. Thomas Vermaelen will be serving his one-game suspension for the offence he committed in the realms of Martin Atkinson's imagination, while William Gallas' calf injury will keep him out.

Despite the likelihood of a strong lineup, I get the feeling that Arshavin may switch with Eduardo and take up a place on the bench for an hour or so. The Russian has been ever-present recently, and there is only so much his little legs can take. Theo Walcott has a (short) history of starting against Birmingham - and a good one at that - so I expect him to feature today with Eboue possibly taking his place on Wednesday night to man-mark Messi. With Vermaelen to return against Barcelona, Wenger looks set to start both veterans at the back today and on Wednesday put his faith in whichever one of the two survives this afternoon's game. The starting XI I expect to see:

Almunia
Sagna
Clichy
Campbell
Silvestre
Song
Diaby
Fabregas
Walcott
Eduardo
Bendtner

Amongst a few news stories today is singer Andy Abraham's claim on TalkSport that after a performance at Theo's 21st birthday party last week (...) he met the team and got the feeling that there will be 'sad news' for Arsenal fans this summer regarding the future of a certain player. Read into it what you will.

Sir Alex Ferguson has, after a few years out of the game, at last returned to the United-Arsenal media battlefield with the suggestion that the FA's failure to follow up their dismissal of Vermaelen's appeal with a further one-match ban is indicative of double standards. I can't quite fathom whatever comparisons he has managed to draw between Vermaelen's slightly clumsy yet innocuous challenge on Guillermo Franco, and Rio Ferdinand's throwing an elbow at Craig Fagan. Admittedly, the FA does need to sort out its appeal system; but a quick look at the replays of these incidents is all we need to discredit Ferguson's recent claims that United are somehow being victimised by officials. Does someone need more injury time?

At least it goes to show that we're back on his mind...

The first player Arsene should be signing

2010-03-25T14:45:00.002Z

Wenger has been talking about the Gallas contract situation again:

“In the next two or three weeks we will not deal with any contract now because we have games every three days and we will focus on our targets. I feel we are winning the battle to keep him but in this domain you have to be open and be ready for anything. He is in a position where he is free to sign for anybody he wants and tomorrow somebody could come up and offer him a massive amount of money and I don't know if he will sign or not. He knows we want to keep him and that we make an effort but it has to be, as it always has been historically, within our set budget."

I suppose it could be said that this is a typically professional approach from Wenger. Just as Birmingham comes before Barcelona, we have a few weeks now which will make or break the season while we have a couple of months to sort out Gallas' contract. Evidently, it would be in the team's best interests to concentrate on the next run of matches and not get confused about priorities; one game at a time, one season at a time.

But should we be worried about this? It's nearly April, and again we're in a position where one of our most important players could sign up for someone else in the next five minutes and leave for free in the summer. Gallas has been sensational this season and there's no question that he should be here in September - so is it time we broke the over-30s one-year policy?

From what I can gather, the issue here has nothing to do with wages. Gallas is one of our top earners and doesn't seem to be after any more money, and is simply interested in maintaining his salary while keeping his place at a top club for the next two years. He will turn 33 towards the end of the summer transfer window - old for a wide, attacking player like Freddie Ljungberg was, but less so for a centre-back - and until he picked up his current injury he was on the form of his life. He and Vermaelen, as a pairing, have been more effective than any at the top of the table this season, and had it not been for injuries in front of and beside them (as well as a couple of clangers behind them) they would almost certainly have contributed to more clean sheets.

There is a small worry now that Gallas' injuries are the beginning of the end, and that with his match fitness he could soon lose that crucial yard of pace. Wenger recently pointed out that he has taken this into account, and he seems confident that the defender will be at the top of his game for another year.

But with the back four finally looking the way we want it, and Gallas showing no real signs of slowing down just yet, a one-year contract may be overly cautious and such an offer might damage our chances of keeping him. Could Gallas last another two years?

Your thoughts...

We need to talk about Barca

2010-03-24T10:24:00.000Z

So... Barcelona.

I found out the Champions League draw while I was on the train, racking up the minutes on my mobile as I listened to a friend lend his expert commentary.

"Shush, the first one's being drawn... It's Lyon."

"Oh, that'll do nicely," I replied. "They both look pretty good but I'd be happy with either them or -"

"Yeah, they've got Bordeaux."

It immediately became clear that those pesky Fates were in that kind of mood. The easy teams could go together - the United v Milan and Chelsea v Inter matches in the previous round hadn't quite lived up to their billing, and something massive was on its way.

"Right, bear with me a sec, the French are giggling at each other. Okay, next one... Bayern Munich."

I drummed my fingers on the table anxiously. "I wouldn't mind them, we could get them back for a few years ago. I suppose they've got Robben and Ribery but -"

"Man U."

"Oh. Good..." Realising that we had a 2/3 chance of getting lumped with a massive team, my mind immediately conjured up images of Manuel Almunia flailing desperately at the feet of Zlatan Ibrahimovic, and Denilson squealing with his eyes closed as he tumbled into Esteban Cambiasso.

The duelling stars dispersed in my mind (Mikael Silvestre bundling over Gael Clichy and allowing Lionel Messi to freely sprint past) as my friend continued. "Okay, Arsenal are next."

My heart pounded. We could draw CSKA and maybe struggle, but a place in the semi-final would surely be crying out for us; alternatively, we could draw Barcelona or Inter. Lose against one of them and no one would blame us - win and surely we would be capable of winning the competition.

"I tell you what, mate, the Arsenal boys look scared. Right, he's opening it up... Barca."

What then came out of my mouth shouldn't really be repeated in this medium, but suffice to say that the elderly lady sitting across the table wasn't expecting to hear that combination of words at 11 o'clock on a weekday morning. My animated jabbering and speculating was only exacerbated by the news that United's path to the final would end with a French team, while we would be rewarded for any miracles against Barcelona with 180 minutes plus added media circus time of Jose Mourinho.

Terrible luck. However - and I don't think I'm the only one here - I have a funny feeling about this draw. Many in the media, like all our non-Gooner friends, are banging on about how the mighty Barcelona will crush us, but there are others who have gone as far in their support for Arsenal as to say that we are the only team capable of beating them. The morning after the draw, I read the Champions League feature in the Independent and saw that they had rather assuredly predicted an Arsenal victory.

The Catalans have more to worry about than most would suspect. They aren't used to the kind of tempo we play at; Andres Iniesta, Xavi and Lionel Messi have three of the scariest footballing brains in the world, but Cesc Fabregas, Andrei Arshavin and Samir Nasri are capable of lightening-quick passing moves which the Barca defence don't see as often in the Spanish leagues. Plus, they won't have had as much rest as we will have by the time we meet, with an extra league tie tomorrow night making the Emirates clash next Wednesday their sixth match in only 17 days. Incredibly, the return leg will be their eighth in 23 - and although we have a trip to White Hart Lane the following weekend to keep in mind, they will be preparing to visit level-on-points-at-the-top-of-the-table Real Madrid. On top of all that, they have the small issue of one of their strikers not actually wanting to play against us.

And they have their weaknesses. Victor Valdes is a surprisingly average goalkeeper for a team at Barcelona's level, and his cause hasn't been helped by some sloppy displays by the defence in front of him over the last couple of months. After a series of clean sheets at the start of the season, they've conceded several goals against much lesser teams since the turn of the year. In their last four away games they've let in seven goals, which would suggest that we're not the only team going into this fixture with problems at the back.

Of course, there is the concern that this tie could end up like the United or Chelsea games. After all, Barcelona have a couple of those individuals - not least Lionel Messi - who can single-handedly make the difference between a very good team and a great team, and a Drogba- or Rooney-like steamrollering wouldn't come as much of a surprise.

But out of all the quarter final match-ups, this one arguably has the most potential for an upset.

Back from the dead

2010-03-23T16:32:00.000Z

Apologies for the outrageously long absence - I've been about as busy as a Portsmouth player's agent over the last couple of weeks. Fortunately there hasn't been too much to write about, but nonetheless I should probably catch up on the Hull and West Ham games. Two games to go over, but we won both of them - thank God I wasn't blogging last season.

I'm afraid that I won't be able to post as regularly until the end of the season, but I'll still be around and I will certainly give some notice if I need to do another Carlos Vela. (Thanks for the emails!)

Anyway, thoughts about the last two matches:

Hull:

I'm pretty relieved that the Hull board has mercifully given us a collective breather from the asinine rantings of Phil Not-Quite-Brown. He has never exactly mustered up any real words of integrity after defeat nor really endeared himself to Arsenal fans, but his level of professionalism was neatly summed up by his remark last week that George Boateng "has got no reason to apologise to anybody" after the midfielder poked Bendtner in the eye and then put in an extremely dangerous challenge on Sagna. Unfortunately, the Match of the Day lot fell for Brown's trick of relentlessly banging on about Sol Campbell's strong but perfectly legitimate challenge on Kamil Zayatte so as to divert attention away from yet another example of the Hull squad's complete and utter lack of discipline.

But what has changed is that we're actually coming out of these games with something. Last season, Liverpool were genuine title contenders because they picked up United's annoying habit of scoring completely undeserved goals in injury time, and the manner in which we won at Hull last weekend was, in a way, more amazing than the clinical nature of our demolition of Porto. Nicklas Bendtner is playing like a true out-and-out striker, and (whisper it quietly) Wenger's decision not to bring in a new forward is starting to look like a sensible one...

I was also impressed with Diaby, who adjusted his game well in Cesc's absence. Just like he had done against Porto a few days previously, he dropped deeper and took on more defensive responsibility - and when the rest of the team were pushing up into the final third, both he and Song held back sensibly. It's incredible how much more assured I feel about Diaby starting now than I did less than 12 months ago, and if he can finally shake off the knocks he could be a vital player during the run-in.

West Ham:

This was a strange match considering the venue and the nature of our opposition. After the opening goal it looked like it was going to become another one of our 90-minute Emirates footballing parties against smaller teams, but a couple of wasted opportunities later and we soon saw a bit of fight from West Ham. Just like the one given in the Hull game, the penalty didn't come out of a goalscoring opportunity (at the KC Stadium because of a clear offside, at the Emirates because Guillermo Franco had about as much control of that ball as I did) but at least the previous referee was confused enough not to send off the defender. Thomas Vermaelen was completely undeserving of a red card and were there anyone at the FA with any sort of control right now we would have succeeded with our appeal.

But we battled on and an exceptional performance from Alex Song kept West Ham at bay. I was a tad worried when Nasri started playing keep-ball at the corner flag in the 68th minute, but aside from a shot by Carlton Cole which knocked Almunia's Lucozade bottle over we got off lightly. We won a stonewall penalty (Cesc and co. seem to be onto something with these chipped shoulder-height passes) to pick up a much-needed boost to our goal difference, and I should note that this was our fourth clean sheet in eight games.

We keep on winning, Chelsea keep on stumbling and Robin van Persie keeps on improving... these are exciting times we live in. I'll be back soon to distract everyone with talk of Barcelona.

Are you all watching, Europe?

2010-03-10T22:45:00.000Z

Last night was the perfect European night - and with that comes the frustrating task of writing a piece about it. Media outlets and websites are desperately fighting amongst themselves to be the first to insist that they always knew Arsenal had it in them, discreetly kicking the histrionic post-United and -Chelsea "Worst Arsenal team ever?" articles from a few weeks ago under the carpet.

But that isn't to say we can indulge in a bit of Arsenal worship for once.

Firstly, I'm glad that Bendtner has finally shown everyone what he can do. No other player in this team is capable of regularly getting themselves into poaching positions, and when he feels like putting his chances away he can really rack up goals. Yes, perhaps a hat-trick was slightly more than he deserved last night; but he is a striker and desert doesn't always count when you're playing in his position, as was shown in the Burnley game. The strange thing about the previous match was that he actually played very well and showed great anticipation - obviously this was tempered somewhat by the fact that he seemed to think the goal was somewhere near the corner flag, but he showed that what makes him different to most Arsenal forwards is his ability to get himself on the end of our passing moves.

It's a shame for Nasri not to go away with the match ball, but no one will be forgetting his goal any time soon. He's been on brilliant form lately and I think most people wanted to see him start last night; subsequently he earned his place by showing us the kind of skill that earned him the 'new Zidane' tag back in France. Despite the injury problems at the start of the season, he has really started to produce (sound familiar?) and prove to any doubters that the transfer fee was worth it.

Arshavin provided - and forgive me for the cringing cliche - several moments of magic, not least his one-man waltz through three Porto defenders before setting up Bendtner's second. Abou Diaby played a disciplined game and performed his role superbly, acting as the 'all action' midfielder after holding back wisely during the nervy early stages. Alex Song was, as always, dependable as the defenders' shield and bailed them out on two vital occasions; and Almunia actually looked fairly solid, holding onto a couple of palm-stinging shots and reacting well to grab the ball from a corner after Nasri controlled it at the far post.

I should note that we shouldn't get ahead of ourselves. Porto aren't exactly the best opposition we'll face this season - in fact, I would place them below most Premiership teams on the basis of their performance in both legs against us - and their defensive vulnerability made our own back five look like a thick concrete wall neatly set inside our goalmouth. Sol had a decent game but looked a bit suspect in the first few minutes of each half, while the backline was collectively guilty for a few moments of poor positioning and several rash decisions. Still, our dominance kept us out of too much trouble, and we could afford to take their attack as seriously as I could take Hulk once I realised that he is essentially Denilson on steroids.

All in all, a very encouraging display, and it was great to see our squad depth demonstrate itself as Eboue and Walcott each turned in a decent cameo. Bring on Hull, and what should be our fifth league win in a row...

Another win, another step towards our title

2010-03-07T13:19:00.001Z

I think we had all expected to see Burnley leave the Emirates in the kind of disarray that has taken over the Chelsea dressing room, but we saw a typical Arsenal home game against a smaller team. We could have recorded the biggest win in league history, but we came just as close to finishing with a draw. Still, three points and a couple of goals for the goal difference - we're very much in the title race.

We were looking very comfortable on the ball, and Ramsey's injury had clearly motivated the team. Again, we finished with about two-thirds of possession and enough shots to floor Sir Alex Ferguson, and some excellent passing moves demanded to be capped with a goal. Most teams would be happy to finish a game with three goals, although most teams aren't capable of scoring ten.

Cesc's goal was absolutely brilliant, and is surely in the running for goal of the month. A wonderful chip from Nasri in what had looked like an unthreatening position, a great tacit understanding from Cesc to start a run, a wonderful finish by the Spaniard underneath Brian Jensen. As for Cesc's injury, it has come at a horrible time, but if Wenger's post-match press conference was anything to go by he has a decent chance of playing against Porto.

The Burnley goal was a strange one, in that there was almost as much fortune on Burnley's part as there was some sort of stupor upon our defence. There was a gaping chasm between Vermaelen and Silvestre - more importantly, the Frenchman didn't really show any signs of a reaction to the long ball up to David Nugent until after the subsequent kick-off had been taken - and most of our central players deserved collective blame for pushing up as one when the clearance was going straight towards the feet of an opposition player. However, had Burnley taken their chance to equalise with the scoreline at 2-1, that goal would have been far worse to concede - good authority on Almunia's part to come out to collect the corner, shocking strength on Almunia's part to be shoved aside, limply flail his wrists at the ball and leave his goal completely exposed.

Theo Walcott will have given his critics something to think about with a great performance. The winger reponded to Chris Waddle's completely unconstructive claim that he 'lacks a football brain' with some smart passes and a pinpoint cross which Bendtner should have put away, and he made up for missing out on at least two deserved assists by netting a well-taken goal on his weaker foot. I was also pleased to see him show some fighting spirit when he completely flipped at Danny Fox for an aggressive challenge with his studs showing, although his opponent did win the ball and technically it seemed legal. I'm not sure what the goal celebration was about, but I'm assuming that the fact he was pointing to an imaginary wristwatch having scored in the 60th minute was something to do with his substitution against Egypt in midweek in the 57th minute - any other theories or news on that would be most welcome.

Less than a week after I insisted with that regrettably memorable phrase 'mark my words' that, fitness allowing, this will be Nicklas Bendtner's season, to say I was disappointed with his peculiar display yesterday afternoon may be an understatement. Unmissable chance after unmissable chance, Adebayor flashback after Adebayor flashback.

But I stand by what I said. He scored in each of the three games preceding yesterday's, and he's certainly looking sharp after all that time on the sidelines. Two of those goals were quality headers, and I maintain that his aerial threat will be important for us over the next couple of months. Remember, at Bendtner's age Didier Drogba was a complete unknown in the French second tier who had only just made his first team debut - and who would lose his place to Daniel Cousin the next season. And at that age, Thierry Henry was no striker.

Three points, both Diaby and Arshavin back to fitness, and our English prodigy back on form... bring on Tuesday.

One of Wenger's greatest masterstrokes?

2010-03-04T16:48:00.002Z

The treacherous Wembley turf has taken yet another victim. Well, the Wembley staircase - I returned from that ligament injury to attend the England match last night, only to aggravate it in a mad dash up ten flights of stairs to beat the anthems to my seat. Back to bed, back to demanding unreasonable favours from anyone who makes the mistake of coming over.

Theo started brightly but was fairly average overall. In fairness, service was lacking and some markedly optimistic/dreadful throughballs from his teammates were only ever going to dribble harmlessly out of play or bounce beyond his control. It could have been a different game for him had his tidy drilled cross been put away by Fat Frank when the net was beckoning irresistibly like the neon Golden Arches of a West London McDonald's. But an indifferent second half ended in Walcott's replacement by Shaun Wright-Phillips, and the Citeh winger promptly took his chance to shine. Not an awful night for Theo, not great either - but nevertheless a relief to see him get a run out and not pick up a knock.

Closer to the Arsenal training ground (which I understand is currently being re-turfed after Ryan Shawcross played in one of the England team's practice matches), and Gael Clichy has been talking about Big Sol. The left-back was full of praise for his veteran teammate, and his interview made pleasant reading.

"If I’m honest he’s been training with us for three months and I told him before he signed that I honestly believed it was the first time I’ve seen him that fit in training."

I don't think anyone would disagree with him. Sol is in tremendous shape for his age, and no one expected him to make such an emphatic return. Sure, at times his pace is lacking, but he has packed on some extra muscle and looks strong enough to carry the burden of a thousand Silvestres. Plus he seems to be a big influence in the dressing room:

"He is a big influence in the dressing room."

Signing Sol in the window could prove to be the catalyst we needed to push on this season, and he could become as inspirational in the coming months as the little imp who nicked his number last February. He has already played in two fairly big games and impressed:

"The way he played against Porto and the way he came in against Aston Villa showed that the guy is a great leader. We surely missed people like that and it’s great to have him back."

As I mentioned after the Porto and Stoke matches, when Sol signed at the end of the window I had my reservations about replacing a promising youngish centre-back with one more than ten years his senior. Evidently, something was going on in training or behind the scenes which made Wenger opt to let the Swiss go, with his standard blow-softening yet transparent aside that the door was open for Senderos to come back one day.

But it seems like bringing back Campbell may well be one of Wenger's greatest masterstrokes. A reliable, enormous, and - most importantly of all - successful centre-back with a huge influence on his teammates, and we brought him in on a free transfer.

With Gallas probably out for the next few games, we will need Sol's experience at the back to keep the defence looking solid. The home leg against Porto will be his chance to win back the plaudits he should have received at the Estádio do Dragão...

I truly believe that Arsenal will win this title

2010-02-28T12:44:00.002Z

There is no need to bring up any more news or quotes. We all know what happened, and we all know what has been said since. But there are a few things that I want to say about the injury and the team's reaction.

The way the boys responded to what happened to Aaron Ramsey made me prouder to be an Arsenal fan than I have ever been. Never have I seen any team react to something so harrowing with such determination and drive, and the win reflected how much they have matured over the two years since that fateful day at St Andrews.

But first, the injury itself. I feel awful for Aaron Ramsey. As an Arsenal fan and a half-Welshman who has followed him since his early days at Cardiff, I am absolutely gutted by what has happened to him. At 19 years of age he had already shown not only us but the rest of the country that he will be a leading midfielder one day, and I have no doubt that he will become as great a player for Wales as Ryan Giggs was. I sincerely hope that he is the same player when he returns, and the mental strength which we have already seen in him gives me the belief that he will come back from this.

Ryan Shawcross made a disgraceful challenge and he knows it. He is young and he was visibly shaken by what he had done. I am angry and sickened by it, and although there is little he can do in consolation I will at least acknowledge that he went over to Ramsey after he had been sent off, and that he expressed regret. If I was responsible for an injury like that, I would be shaken too - however, I would be incapable of attempting something so stupid and dangerous.

There was no malice in the challenge, but there was recklessness and utter contempt for both the rules and the spirit of the game. I blame the culture of anti-Arsenal thuggery more than anything, and although I don't believe there has ever been any intention to actually injure our players, the intimidation 'tactics' are plain to see and are merely the work of cowardly managers.

Regarding some of the Stoke fans, I haven't seen such a disgusting display of simple-minded ill will in a long time. I am grateful to the majority that gave him a standing ovation as he left the field, which was a sincere display of sympathy; but those that sang the hateful songs in the background are simpletons who deserve something far worse than what happened to Ramsey. They should take a leaf out of Glenn Whelan's book - the midfielder stayed with Aaron Ramsey until the paramedics took him off, and he deserves a big hand for his help.

Anyway, enough said about that and hopefully both Shawcross and the Sam Allardyce school of defending have learned a valuable lesson.

For five minutes after the injury, neither side wanted to play and that much was obvious. I would imagine that most Arsenal fans were waiting to see if the team could make up for the Birmingham incident, and after an understandably muted spell they didn't disappoint.

Alex Song has not been given the credit he deserves. He took the initiative during those abject moments and raised the team's spirits with some forceful runs down the centre; it was his brilliant pass to Eduardo, which the striker was unlucky not to curl inside the near post, that sparked the fightback.

Cesc Fabregas led by example. He was running the show to begin with and his assist for Nicklas Bendtner's goal was as world-class as the header itself. As Ramsey lay on the floor, Fabregas had looked utterly distraught, and his horror was matched only by his frustration that history had repeated itself to Arsenal's detriment. I urge any doubters to re-watch his reaction to a moment which could have destroyed both his teammate's career and his team's season, and then try to tell me that he doesn't love this club.

Both Thomas Vermaelen and Nicklas Bendtner looked seriously distressed by the incident, but both upped their game and deserve recognition - a great show of resolve and commitment, and a goal apiece was just reward for their contributions. Well done also to Gael Clichy, who was a potent attacking threat, Sol Campbell who put in a classic centre-back's performance and played with his heart on his sleeve in the later stages, and a solid Manuel Almunia who couldn't really be faulted. Of course, credit to Aaron Ramsey who had - bias aside - put in a characteristically energetic and committed performance in midfield, and played well defensively.

Almunia, Sagna, Clichy, Fabregas, and Walcott were all on the pitch the last time this happened. Their immediate reaction that day spoke volumes, and they were shaken for the rest of the game. The effect of Eduardo's injury on the players cost us a win, and cost us the title.

But last night it was clear that lessons had been learned. The team refused to let it happen again, and they ended up achieving something brilliant - an away win against their bogey team. The Britannia Stadium is a cauldron, the Stoke players the anti-Christ to our purist game, and yet against all the odds we did it.

I found myself desperately trying to defend this team after the defeats to Manchester United and Chelsea left us nine points adrift. They were all the more frustrating because we have matched both of these teams for quality this season. At both Stamford Bridge and Old Trafford, we out-classed our title rivals and deserved to leave with something. Yes, there are clear differences between us and them which can overshadow our incisive passing and flair, and we got nothing out of six points when we should have picked up two at the very least. But we have played them now, and the toughest part of our schedule is behind us. We have fought our way back into the race and I genuinely believe that we will win it.

We have added steel to a team which has been labelled light-weight for some time. Abou Diaby has truly established himself in our engine room, and mark my words: if Nicklas Bendtner stays fit, this will be his season. We have arguably the best midfielder in the world in Cesc Fabregas, we at last have the right defensive midfielder behind him, and the defence has finally found its feet thanks to the addition of Thomas Vermaelen and - despite my initial concerns - Sol Campbell. And what happened at the Britannia Stadium last night has given our players the added impetus to win this thing.

It has been said for years that, on our day, we are the best 'footballing' team in the country. But the events of last night were evidence that this season, on our day, we are so much more than that.

Have Arsenal's next opponents got a trick up their sleeves?

2010-02-26T16:46:00.003Z

(Sketch)

It was nearly 5.30 in Stoke, and darkness was descending. Fans around the Britannia Stadium were bracing against the cold and burrowing their heads into thick red and white scarves, their gloved fingers flipping through matchday programmes, their feet shuffling for warmth as the anticipation grew. Steam was rising from each stand, the heat of the supporters' breath and thick clothing escaping into the clear night sky.

Meanwhile, the Stoke dressing room was a hive of activity.

The players were stretching their monstrous frames and chatting excitedly as they eagerly awaited their march out of the tunnel. Sanli Tuncay was sat on the benches, joining in with the conversation as he gripped his shining locks with a set of hair curlers.

The defenders were practicing their stamps, gradually digging holes into the dressing room floor as they prepared to handle their considerably more talented opponents.

Rory Delap was carefully blow-drying an immaculate white towel, emblazoned somewhat pretentiously with the calligraphic ensign 'RD24'. His eyes were glazed with infatuation, his hands trembling and his lips whispering sweet nothings into the rows of cotton.

"Right boys."

Tony Pulis walked briskly into the Stoke dressing room, rubbing his hands eagerly. "We all ready?"

The players excitedly responded with a collective "yes boss", drumming their boots on the floor as they geared themselves up.

All of them except Thomas Sorensen, who was slumped forward unenthusiastically and ignoring his teammates. He rested his head in his gloves and mumbled bitterly, "I should be in the other room."

"What's that, Thomas?" Pulis snapped, fixing his goalkeeper with a warning glare from beneath his mildewed cap.

"Nothing boss," Sorensen replied as he sprung up with a feigned, toothy grin.

There came a knock on the dressing room door - the groundsman poked his head into the room.

"All ready, boss."

Pulis dragged him into the room and checked that there was no one in the tunnel within earshot. "Did you do everything like I said?"

"Yes boss," the groundsman nodded. "We've watered it once every half-hour for the last two days, and I churned it up nicely with my own tractor last night. I sent the boys out this morning to pick out any remaining blades of grass."

"Good, good," Pulis smiled. "And the goalmouths?"

"Yep, I had Robert roll about a bit in the penalty areas, so they're both nice and muddy." Robert Huth thudded into the room behind him, covered head to toe in mud and snorting dirt out of his nose.

Pulis clapped his hands together and grinned excitedly. "Good, then we're ready. Out you go boys, and don't forget..."

The players all joined in as Pulis shouted his mantra:

"If he's too skillful or if he's too quick, hold out your elbows and give him a kick!"

Of all the players available, why on earth did you choose him?

2010-02-24T13:45:00.009Z

Afternoon everyone. My foot is currently more empurpled than the media build-up to the stalest tie of the century - Ancelotti vs Mourinho - having suffered the kind of desperate, last resort injury that Marco Materazzi would have been proud to bestow.

For those living under the proverbial rock, Cheryl is soon to wriggle herself free of the title of 'Mrs Ashley Cole' and all its connotations of naivety, heartbreak, and sexual disillusionment. Finally Cashley gets what he deserves, and I would love to see a Chelsea fan try to defend this one. Again, he has sacrificed loyal, committed and rather stylish company - someone who gave him unwavering support, made him what he is and thought the world of him - for a tacky, money-driven and, above all, easy alternative. Hopefully Cheryl's next marriage contract will make more sense than his new £120,000-a-week Chelsea deal.

Bitterness out the way, and there isn't much Arsenal news with a few days left until the Stoke match. But Nicklas Bendtner's comments did catch my eye.

"[Wenger's] faith is very important and all I have to do now is show him he made the right choice. I am sure he has and I have to show that on the pitch. I have been ready to carry the fans' hopes for some time - it is nothing new to me. It has been very frustrating because I set myself a target at the start of the season. Obviously, because of my injury it has been really difficult to make that target. It is nice to be back scoring again and I need to score two goals in [each of] the remaining games to reach that."

A lot of people disparage his famously self-assured nature, but I for one admire Bendtner's confidence (yes, the headline was about Ashley Cole). He knows he's talented, and he knows that he is capable of becoming a great striker. Unlike several of our players, his head doesn't drop if he plays poorly - it's almost guaranteed that he'll work his socks off to redeem himself. This is why he will certainly be one for the big games, and why he has already scored against Chelsea, Liverpool, Everton, Aston Villa, and Spurs, as well as providing some crucial goals in Champions League fixtures.

His agent is his father, a factor which I'd imagine will keep him grounded - especially if there is any truth in his claim that he and Nicklas rejected bids from Inter Milan, Barcelona and Bayern Munich to stick with Arsenal. Besides, confidence isn't a bad thing, and will bring out the best in him. How else do you think Cristiano Ronaldo overcame the appearance of an acne-ridden earthworm to become one of the best footballers in the world?

Is Arsenal's English wonderkid really playing in his best position?

2010-02-23T12:51:00.003Z

There has been a lot of talk following the Sunderland match about Theo Walcott's performance. The newspapers have reacted as one would expect following a good display by an English player, ie. screaming themselves red in the face with excitement and interviewing anyone from his manager and team-mates to his old primary school teachers and former postmen in his neighbourhood.

This isn't to say that the praise isn't at least partially deserved, or even something of a relief. Walcott has cut a frustrating figure this season with knock after knock stunting his development, shredding his confidence and leaving him looking more lost than a Manchester United season ticket. Throw into the mix some decent displays by Aaron Lennon down the road and you have a fickle media discarding their hat-trick hero of Croatia, described not so long ago as England's best talent by none other than Fabio Capello.

But he has looked sharper in his last few appearances, and on Saturday put in the kind of performance that an Everton right-winger might have celebrated with an ethanol-endorsed excursion through Liverpool city centre. He's started to make use of his pace again, he looks more assured when taking on players, and his passing has become sharper. Encouraging signs from the forward, and he should (and deserves to) be on a high when he next plays - hopefully against the immense but immobile leviathans that protect the Britannia Stadium home goal - even if the media response over the last couple of days has neatly exemplified the 'build them up, knock them down and fight to be the first one to so much as breathe the word comeback' nature of the British football media.

But something that often bothers me is where his future lies. He seems absolutely certain that he will truly make a name for himself up front; Arsene Wenger seems to agree, but he has been a bit less effusive in talking up Walcott's credentials as a striker.

Theo's lightning pace and ability to get in behind the defence has been a real asset to a team which, in his absence, often spends 90 minutes prodding and probing their opposition and relying heavily on their collective passing ability. Think back to the game at Stamford Bridge only a couple of weeks ago - we ran the show, but lacked both a big striker and a player with the pace to sprint through the gaps. Having the latter to get to the byline and cut back a low cross from time to time can work wonders, and the sensational goal which he laid on a plate for Emmanuel Adebayor (yes, even he couldn't miss that one) which could and should have won the Champions League quarter-final at Anfield two years ago was Walcott at his best.

Perhaps when he is older and more experienced, and indeed more reliable when it comes to finishing, he will be ready for a shift to the centre. But for the foreseeable future, he appears best suited to a game along the touchline where players like Bendtner and van Persie will be able to feed off him.

Many have flourished as leading players for both club and country having changed from the centre-forward role in which they starred as little 'uns to one more suited towards their strengths. Ashley Cole and Sol Campbell both did it - even little Bakary Sagna made the switch. So as I lie here on my bed in true Theo Walcott style, nursing a torn heel ligament inflicted upon me by an incompetent defender who saw fit to prevent a volley by attempting to hoof my foot across the pitch, I open the floor to debate:

Theo Walcott: winger or striker?

Signs that Arsenal have the squad depth for a title challenge

2010-02-20T20:43:00.017Z

We're genuinely in the title race now after taking a three point leap behind United. With more than two-thirds of possession and a deserved scoreline against Sunderland, yesterday afternoon will have been almost as much of a relief to Arsene Wenger after the ignominy of mid-week as a lesser manager might have sought in a Southampton massage parlour.

For a start, Almunia responded to Fabianski's horror show by putting in about as good a performance as was possible with only a few saves to make. He rushed out on two occasions when the net would very much have preferred him to stay back and protect its modesty, but thankfully his clearance on the first landed in the proximity of a team-mate, and his closing down on the second put Kenwyne Jones under enough pressure to force a miss. For the rest of the game, he dealt with stray balls as one would expect from a Premiership keeper and met a couple of set-pieces well, and a vital save from Darren Bent made it a good afternoon for the Spaniard. Not exceptional, but I was relieved to see an Arsenal goalkeeper at last playing as if he wasn't on ketamine.

Theo Walcott played very well. He gave us the blistering pace we have missed of late, and was unlucky not to bag an assist when he exploded clear of the defence and attempted to knock a short cross-shot between the legs of Craig Gordon. The keeper was on great form and wasn't to be nutmegged - he slammed his knees together with the kind of prudence that a demure Victorian maiden actually named Prudence might have followed up by slapping the impudent young winger on the cheek, snapping "Well I never" and storming back to the goal mouth holding up the hem of her tea gown. Walcott not only made great use of his speed, but looked a lot sharper both in possession and with his first touch. He gets my backing for another start against Stoke.

George McCartney will have nightmares about that game for weeks, having been not only destroyed by Walcott for pace but even at one stage outmuscled by the winger. He was moved from left-back in the second half in the hope that his lack of pace would no longer be exploited, but this simply helped Samir Nasri to step it up a gear and provide further mobility around our passing moves. McCartney's biggest contribution was blocking a Nicklas Bendtner shot when the Dane seemed to have all the time and space in the world to put it away.

Actually, he did manage one other notable contribution: at one stage the linesman got in his way and ended up with a bruised finger. Having summoned the physio and held up the game, he and the referee inspected it carefully and scratched their heads for some time before eventually catching up with the rest of us and deducing a simple solution. Uncertain, the linesman transferred the flag to his other hand, and after a few test waves - "are you sure it will be the same?" - he jogged back into place and the game resumed.

Eboue was superb. Since he's come back from Angola he has really impressed me, and the attacking element of his game has improved remarkably for a player who is already nearing his peak age. Like Diaby, he has clearly worked on controlling the ball more closely this season and his dribbling has benefited no end. He was successfully taking on the Sunderland defenders and deserved to add to his assist.

His most notable opportunity for a second was to Aaron Ramsey, who was unfortunate to see his shot take several deflections and inconveniently lose its way more times than an unsavoury photo of Ashley Cole. Ramsey was far more constructive than Denilson was in midweek, although his inexperience might have been costly when a poor pass started the build-up to one of Sunderland's most dangerous attacks. Still, he made up for this with some decent interceptions, and exhibited some great Cesc-esque through balls and spatial awareness to make it a typically positive performance from the youngster.

Cesc was on better form yesterday, and winning and scoring a late penalty was just desert for a committed, energetic display. He threw himself all over the place, and Sunderland's inability to work the ball out of midfield largely came down to his tenacious and inexhaustible closing down whenever possible. He made use of the space they inexplicably welcomed him into so often, and I was pleased with one of his best performances since the turn of the year. Hopefully he can build on this and pull the strings at Stoke next weekend.

The centre-backs had little to do outside a five-minute spell of dominance by Sunderland, and I was pleased to see the two of them holding back rather than taking the opportunity to bomb forward. Vermaelen can be a great addition to our attack at times but against fast strikers like Darren Bent and Fraizer Campbell we couldn't afford to leave only two or three defenders in position at any time, lest the Sunderland defence manage to hoof a long ball up the pitch for one of them to chase down. Mikael Silvestre was fairly convincing, although on one occasion his positioning collapsed the offside trap to allow Kenwyne Jones through, and on another he was somehow outmuscled by Darren Bent when he was the last man - mistakes that better teams would capitalise on. Still, he tidied up well and helped to break down Sunderland's attacks in the second half, and at one stage played a ball over the top for Theo which was as breathtaking in its accuracy as it was for its source. Vermaelen complemented him well with relatively good pace to recover, and he was excellent at dealing with the aerial bombardment that the Sunderland defenders threw forth hopefully and roughly in the direction of Kenwyne Jones.

There are now eleven games left for us, with the Big Four out of the way and our title rivals faced with trickier run-ins. Onwards we march towards our 33 points...

Another key player likely to return to the Arsenal squad

2010-02-19T18:27:00.005Z

Tomorrow we face a team which has won six points out of its last possible 36. Shocking form, although we should keep in mind who they nicked three points from in the game immediately preceding that disastrous run...

Alex Song is rated 80-20 to be back tomorrow, and will be important in balancing the midfield three now that Abou Diaby won't be available to babysit Denilson. The Brazilian played much better against Porto than in his previous few outings, although he will still need someone to hold his hand and drag him back should Sunderland hit us on the break. But I will have no complaints if he fancies smashing a few in from outside the area - at the moment it looks like no one else will.

Almunia is 50-50 to return, but I honestly don't mind Fabianski keeping his place for another game. He will get another chance eventually, and if he's going to make it at Arsenal tomorrow will be a better chance than any to show that he can bounce back. As long as he's had a quick review of the rules or sat in on one of the under-10s non-training lessons in the classroom, I think he can get this one right.

As for defence, there is a slight doubt over Campbell. However, it seems as though he will probably start, and he may well be vital in dealing with Kenwyne Jones. Judging from his display in mid-week he should be up to the challenge... as long as he doesn't tire himself out too soon.

Our opponents have their own problems and this is a huge opportunity for us to catch up with United and Chelsea, who will be away at Everton and Wolves respectively - two teams which have both improved lately and look genuinely capable of an upset. Sunderland will be without Lee Cattermole, a player I rate very highly and one who is suited to dealing with midfielders like ours, while both Steed Malbranque and Andy Reid are highly doubtful, depriving them of their two most creative players. Kieran Richardson, Anton Ferdinand and John Mensah are all unlikely to play.

The line-up I expect to see:

Almunia
Sagna
Clichy
Campbell
Vermaelen
Song
Denilson
Fabregas
Walcott
Rosicky
Bendtner

Theo Walcott has been showing signs of returning to form, and a scintillating run down the left-flank at Porto suggested he is back to playing towards his strengths. I fully expect Nicklas Bendtner to impress, particularly with Sunderland's back four looking frail, while Tomas Rosicky deserves to keep his place after several good performances recently.

Wenger announced today that Robin van Persie might be back in late April, but stresses that it will be a while until he commences work on his fitness and that will take at least six weeks in itself. It seems like he can play in an absolute maximum of five games, but that's an optimistic estimate:

Manchester City (home)
Champions League semi-final second leg
Blackburn (away)
Fulham (home)
Champions League final

As you can see, extremely wishful thinking. But the Blackburn and Fulham games (which could be vital if we're in the title race) fall in early May, and he should be ready for those.

With that, I bid you a good evening - with any luck, we'll finally get some relaxed viewing tomorrow.

The other 89 minutes

2010-02-18T23:43:00.001Z

"Well, glaze my nipples and call me Rita." - Melchett, 'Blackadder Back & Forth'.

Now that my frustration with Martin 'Hands' Hansson has been vented, I will move on to how we played when the referee wasn't getting in between Sol Campbell and their forwards, or indeed failing to get in between their defenders and Cesc Fabregas.

Stephen Fry as Melchett neatly summed up my thoughts on Sol Campbell's performance in his first Champions League game for nearly four years. Campbell was head and shoulders above the rest of our team, and not just figuratively. He looked absolutely colossal - not only when he was near the likes of Samir Nasri and Tomas Rosicky, but when handling the opposition centre-backs and the spuriously named Hulk. His pace betrayed his age somewhat, but he compensated for this almost every time it let him down by putting in an impeccably-timed sliding challenge. On one occasion when Sol had deftly plucked the ball from Ruben Micael, the midfielder made the mistake of trying to grapple with him and ended up tumbling under the centre-back with the look of a terrified child with his arm stuck in an ominously tilting vending machine.

There's no denying that Fabianski had a dismal night, and the second goal has already been dealt with. I think he made the right decision in going down to block that cross in the 10th minute, but he completely misread both the trajectory and the spin of the ball and should certainly have put more of his body behind it. In his defence though, I wouldn't blame him for being nervy with a player called Silvestre to his left.

He made a couple of decent saves and one very good block from a long-distance shot, briefly reminding us that he is a very agile shot-stopper with bags of potential. But a second howler after half-time cost us the game, and has left him with an uphill struggle to piece his reputation back together. Personally, I fear that he may be too meek for a goalkeeper and is visibly overwhelmed by these occasions, but he's still only 24 and as infuriating as these errors are, I will give him my support.

Abou Diaby had a real game of two halves. Throughout the first 45 minutes, he was always involved in the middle and helped to break up a few Porto attacks in support of Denilson. His close control and strength were too much for the Porto midfield, and several times he spun round and set off on a mazy dribble with his opponents simply bumbling uselessly around him. But after the break we began to see some old habits creeping back into his game, and he made some poor decisions later in the game - particularly failing to shoot in injury time when the opportunity was screaming itself hoarse to be taken. With the benefit of hindsight, the knock he picked up can probably be held accountable for this decline, and here's hoping he won't be out for too long.

Denilson was quiet and rather inconsistent, but some torpid jogs back and a few spilt passes were somewhat offset by several vital challenges in midfield. He wasn't altogether convincing and he has a long way to go to fight his way into my new preferred midfield three, but this was a considerable improvement on his dreadful performance against United.

A strange night for our midfield was completed by a wavering show from Cesc Fabregas. He was tremendously busy as always and carved Porto to pieces in the first half an hour, but a couple of sloppy balls and some dodgy set-pieces when it mattered made it a frustrating contribution from the captain. With Porto's game plan seemingly geared towards ignoring him completely until he drifted within hacking distance, he had a massive opportunity last night to dominate the game and didn't really take it. This is a mild criticism however, as he was still very much the heartbeat of the team and, I suppose, was growing frustrated with some aggressive defending against him which was not being dealt with by an incompetent official. I am almost certain that this was merely fatigue taking its toll - something which can rectify itself with a fairly open fixture list awaiting us - and my money's on him running the show at the Emirates.

I still expect us to progress in the Champions League, and in the meantime we have two promising home ties against Sunderland and Burnley to look forward to. Good night, and keep the faith!

Fabianski had a shocker, but did no one else notice this?

2010-02-18T16:29:00.002Z

Before I later address the rest of the game, from which we can still draw several positives, I thought I would have a quick wade through the best kind of debate - refereeing in European football. The second Porto goal has come under some scrutiny, but I think there is more to be said.

First things first, Lucasz Fabianski must shoulder the blame for getting us into such a position in the first place, and there's no two ways about it. Although Campbell's last touch was an accident, Fabianski made a mistake in not looking up and a bigger mistake in not slamming a boot through the ball. He may not have noticed Campbell touch it but that is hardly a satisfactory defence.

The situation was still redeemable, but he blundered again. Obviously panicking, he didn't think to hold onto the ball until he returned to the goal and instead chucked it back to the ref. Having handed it over, he didn't hurry back into position but instead turned from the ball and started chatting away to Thomas Vermaelen, and the rest is now an embarrassing episode in Champions League history.

But my frustration with a dreadful error from Fabianski was nothing compared to my anger with the refereeing.

Martin Hansson showed little evidence last night that would explain his continued presence in the European refereeing elite after the Thierry Henry handball incident. For starters, he had already failed to control the Porto players in their handling of Fabregas, then on two occasions denied us a blindingly obvious advantage and essentially rewarded the opposition for their infringements with the opportunity to recuperate.

At one stage, one of the Porto defenders chased down Rosicky in his own penalty area and I believe tried to do something I once saw a German Shepherd do to a Westie in my local park - but too many home fans would have been upset, so Hansson ignored our cries for a penalty and waved play on. Moments later, the backpass happened.

When the Porto forwards took the indirect freekick, the referee had not yet signalled - in fact, he was wandering off in the other direction with his face eased into an utterly vacant expression and his arms limp at his sides, and seemed to have momentarily left the game altogether. He did, however, desperately throw his arm in the air well after the free-kick had been taken, as if hoping to retain some sense of authority after the Porto players had taken matters into their own hands.

I have no qualms with the free-kick being awarded, and I know that the responsibility to defend it following the signal would have fallen to our players - Porto didn't need to wait. But the referee didn't indicate, leaving Vermaelen unsure, Fabianski sifting through the vast wealth of quality goalkeeping advice bestowed upon him by the legendary Mart Poom, and Sol Campbell actually stuck behind the doddering Hansson with an arm in his face.

For some writers in the press to draw comparisons to a couple of quick Arsenal free-kicks in the past, including THAT Henry goal against Chelsea, isn't fair. Henry made a point of asking the referee for his permission every time he tried it - and if you watch the YouTube footage of the Chelsea goal which is currently doing the rounds, the referee clearly signalled so that Eidur Gudjohnsen could see and run panic-stricken back to his teammates, waving his arms in terror and lisping Icelandic warnings in vain. Hansson, however, didn't actually look like he knew what he was doing once he had let go of the ball.

In the Daily Mail today, Graham Poll claims that by giving the free-kick in the first place, the referee had instantly turned advantage over to Porto - a claim which would of course validate thousands of rightly disqualified goals over the years. I'm no referee so I will happily stand corrected if I have missed something, but there was no signal before the free-kick and, to me, the goal therefore doesn't seem legal. I'll leave you to make of it what you will.

Arsenal's old nemesis pops up at yet another convenient time

2010-02-17T13:19:00.000Z

It's happened again. A big game that could make or break our season has been preceded by a fresh spate of injuries to important players, and our line-up will look quite different to that which faced Liverpool. Almunia, Gallas, Song, Arshavin and Eduardo will all miss out.

But Wenger was still in good enough spirits to give journalists that rarest of rarities, a joke. Lights flashing all around and microphones prodding his face, his eyes darted hesitantly from side to side as he nervously gave the slightest of smiles and said, "Manuel Almunia has a finger injury, and the hand is quite useful for goalkeepers."

Cue the anti-Almunians' gag, "so is the ability to keep goal". Personally, I wonder if this would have been the kind of game in which his wildly oscillating form could have hit a high - he looked a bit sharper against Liverpool and he received praise from the Great Ponytail yesterday, so the confidence he often so badly needs must have been in good shape. Fabianski will be looking to take his big chance, and as long as he reins in those unfettered forays out of position and stops rolling the ball 20 yards in front of him before clearing it, I think he'll be okay.

The XI I'm expecting/hoping to see:

Lucasz Fabianski
Bakary Sagna
Gael Clichy
Sol Campbell
Thomas Vermaelen
Denilson
Abou Diaby
Cesc Fabregas
Emmanuel Eboue
Samir Nasri
Nicklas Bendtner

The first eight names are about as sure a thing as one of the Porto forwards reacting to a successful, well-timed challenge by throwing himself to the ground holding a selection of appendages and screaming bloody murder - only to see that a foul has been awarded, jump enthusiastically to his feet cheerily enquiring "free keek?", and promptly slam his prize over the wall and into the top corner.

The front three are always harder to predict. Emmanuel Eboue looked very sharp against Liverpool, and I suspect will be rewarded with a start on the right to balance out our attack. Nicklas Bendtner will surely start in the middle while the left wing position will most likely go to either Samir Nasri or Tomas Rosicky, the other joining Theo Walcott on the bench.

But then again, this is an away game in Europe, and Arsene's often partial to the odd tactical surprise in these games. Here's hoping that the amalgam of regular starters and benchwarmers can come home with a handy result and one or two away goals - and not put us through what United and Milan did last night.

Arsenal fans in for a great show if new plans go ahead

2010-02-15T18:33:00.003Z

Good evening, and I hope you all had a cracking Valentine's Day.

In terms of Arsenal news, the last two days have been the dreariest and bleakest in a long time, such that some cheeky blighter got bored and crafted a fake photo of Cesc wearing what he reckons is our home kit for next season. If he wanted to do that, he could have been more imaginative than to graft the Emirates logo and Arsenal crest onto what would appear to be an old Manchester United shirt. In fact, putting full white sleeves on it would've been a hoot - we don't see many like that nowadays.

But the news that the Premier League is mulling 4th place playoffs caught my eye. It's an interesting proposal, and after that howler last year it's a relief to see them considering something more realistic - we could have been forgiven for expecting that 39th round of matches flung across the globe to be followed by a 40th round with Aussie rules, a 41st in a shark tank, and a 42nd just thrown all together on the same pitch with 10 balls and 20 goals. It's a clear and unfortunate statement of intent, in that they seem to have acknowledged that the top three is almost guaranteed to feature three of the Big Four year in, year out; but with the very top of the table usually a fairly predictable affair (even if the title race has been the best one for some time this season) and the scrap for survival at the bottom hardly a purist's dream no matter how endearingly captivating it can be, they may well be onto something in cooking up another battle. The leagues below all have play-off tournaments for the final promotion place, so I doubt the powers-that-be will be radically opposed to it.

The question is whether or not we as fans (and Arsenal fans) will like it. If in a few years' time, it's all gone to plan and we're sitting pretty at the top (Robin van Persie's bionic legs taking him to the top of the goalscoring charts, the groundbreaking case of 'Wenger vs Spanish football' prohibiting presidential elections within clubs and thus allowing our captain to stay and flourish untroubled at the Emirates, and the world-renowned Wojciech Szczesny keeping clean sheet after clean sheet to earn several proud yet somewhat muddled chants from the stands), then it would be great to sit back and enjoy the fresh entertainment. I'd love to watch the likes of Aston Villa, Liverpool, Everton and Manchester City fighting to fend off plucky upstarts Birmingham, Fulham, Sunderland, and even those ballsy Spurs chaps - now in their new home hailed as 'the second best club venue in London' and named for the next 30 years after their new sponsors as the Siemens Stadium (sorry) - just to secure a place between 4th and 7th and maybe have a go in proper Europe.

I don't know what UEFA and FIFA will have to say about all this, but it could be a great addition in terms of entertainment. We would just have to accept the possibility of Spurs getting in, falling to pieces in the group stages, and humiliating English football to the detriment of the country's seed standing; thus cutting the number of English teams eligible for the tournament to three.

In other news, an emphatic 4-1 win for my six-a-side team the other day was immediately followed by a quick bump into unpleasant man Gus Poyet. Hopefully he saw my cheeky left-footed near-post finish and then my defence-slicing through-ball assist, and not me tripping over in the build-up to their consolation goal.

Ashley Cole and Robin van Persie in 'Injury Ward III'

2010-02-13T21:45:00.006Z

(Sketch)

Night had descended upon London Colney.

Moonlight shimmered across the training pitches as the trees shivered in the breeze, their leaves jostling and delicately rustling. A soft wintery flurry cavorted over the grass, sprinkling a faint dusting of white powder over the ridges of dried mud within various boot prints and skidmarks.

The Arsenal injury ward was tranquil and still. Darkness enveloped the room, and scarcely a sound could be heard. Thin beads of light filtered through small gaps in the curtains, dancing among the beds as the players slept.

Eduardo smiled contentedly as he turned over in his sleep, nestling into the body imprint irreversibly entrenched in his mattress after two long years of injuries. Andrei Arshavin was curled up in a traditional Russian wool nightgown, emitting sporadic shy giggles and pressing his finger to his lips every few minutes as he dreamt of Anfield.

With several of the regulars returning to fitness and the team back to winning ways, the injury ward had become a quieter place in recent days. The remaining players' gentle slumber epitomised the new calm which had spread through the Arsenal camp after the team's midweek win.

But all of a sudden the peace was shattered by a commotion outside. The players woke with a start.

Alex Song leapt to his feet and glared across the ward; catching a whiff of a deeply unpleasant smell, he narrowed his eyes and growled in the direction of the window.

Watching the Cameroonian with caution, Robin van Persie climbed onto his crutches and hobbled towards the curtains, listening intently for further noise. He hesitantly raised a hand to the fabric, as Kieran Gibbs and Carlos Vela mewled fearfully and hid behind Eduardo.

No sooner had he grabbed the curtain than the window resounded with two harsh taps. Startled, the Dutchman slipped off his crutches and clattered to the ground, the thud from his large frame accompanied by the reedy scratching of his dried hairwax on the hardwood flooring.

The window pane flew up and a crowbar whacked the curtains apart. Van Persie shuffled backwards; Alex Song stepped forward, his hand clutching a full bedpan and his arm poised to throw.

As the moonlight revealed the trespasser's identity, the players stopped and stared aghast. The bedpan fell from Song's grip and crashed noisily to the floor, spilling its musty contents across their feet.

A bedraggled Ashley Cole clambered into the ward. He was dressed in an old black tracksuit with a black beanie and matching gloves, but was covered in mud and sweat; judging from the acrid odour now wafting into the room, he had not only undergone considerable physical exertion to get into the compound but had shied away from showers for quite some time. His painstakingly trimmed designer stubble had given way to a thick, coarse beard, while his diamond earring dangled dowdily from its lobe.

Van Persie climbed to his feet, his legs struggling to support him as he gripped one crutch. "Ashley, what on earth are you doing here? It'sh the middle of the night, get out!"

Despite his exhaustion, Cole smirked impishly and gave the Dutchman a gentle push in the chest. The striker tumbled back down; the defender kicked his crutches away.

Catching his breath, Cole surveyed the room and scowled threateningly. "Right Frenchies, where's Gary Lewin?"

The players backed away as the defender turned and waved the crowbar in their direction. Only Song stood his ground, glaring with contempt at his impudent ex-teammate.

Struggling, van Persie hoisted himself onto the nearest bed and caught his breath. "He ishn't here anymore. Only hish brother."

Cole swore loudly and slammed the crowbar against the floor. The Arsenal players covered their ears as it rattled at a piercing frequency.

Eduardo held back his younger team-mates and approached the left-back. "You should not be here, Ashley. Why do you need him?"

"I've got to sort my leg out so I can play again," Cole snapped, poking at a metal first-aid box having mistaken it for a safe.

Van Persie raised a brow. "That'sh... actually quite professional of you."

The defender shrugged. "Well, the thing is, I need to get playing again cos of all this media rubbish. JT played well and everyone got over it, so I have to do what he did."

"Media rubbish?"

"Yeah, that's kind of the other reason I'm here." Cole turned towards van Persie, feigning camaraderie. "Robin mate, I'm in a bit of trouble and thought maybe you could help me out. Basically, I sent this bird some pictures of my -"

Robin snorted and camply made a 'talk to the hand' gesture. "No shankyou Ashley, you need to learn to handle your own problemsh."

Cole pleaded, his obnoxious, sharp features softening slightly into a look of genuine anguish. "But Rob, you just need to say I gave you the phone, it's a foolproof lie -"

Van Persie folded his arms and turned away. "No."

The defender sneered and reached for the crowbar, but Kieran Gibbs kicked it away and blocked him. The youngster clenched his fists and glared resolutely at his senior, although his trembling lower lip betrayed his fear somewhat.

"Well, well, well. If it isn't little Kieran Gibbs, the 'new Ashley Cole'." Cole stepped towards him menacingly.

Gibbs squealed in fright and covered his eyes. His fingers trembling, he gulped and nervously whispered to himself. "If I can't see him, he can't see me..."

Cole emitted a shrill cackle and brushed past him. However, his smirk dropped as he looked at the floor.

"Where did it go?!"

He span around, his eyes widening in the absence of his weapon. Dropping to his knees, he scrabbled around in desperation.

Suddenly, he saw a small glint in the moonlight. He leapt to his feet and prepared to snatch it, only to realise that it was now stuck beneath an inert, snoring Andrei Arshavin.

"What -?!"

"He hasn't had much rest recently." Eduardo stepped in front of him. "Ashley, I think it is time for you to leave."

Cole's face twisted into a vicious scowl. "Shut up mate, I don't even know who the f-"

The defender stopped mid-sentence and shielded his eyes as the lights switched on. Blinking and squinting, the players turned to face the door.

Arsene Wenger was standing in the doorway. Beneath his long nightcap, his wrinkles had coiled into an expression of utter fury. He was wearing a slightly undersized dressing gown, out of which two pale, bony legs stalked; his feet were concealed by grossly antiquated leather slippers. He was inexplicably carrying a candle lantern.

"What ze hell is going on here! Ashley Cole, what are you doing in our facilities?!"

Bewildered, Cole stammered unintelligibly.

Wenger was livid, his nightcap bobbing with cotton conniption. "You will leave this instant! Alex, show him out!"

With that, Alex Song picked Cole up by the scruff of the neck and stormed down the corridor.

Wenger placed his lantern down and walked into the room. "Everyone, back to bed. You will need your sleep if any of you are to be ready for Porto."

Grateful for Wenger's arrival, the players groggily climbed back into their beds, rubbing their eyes and adjusting their sheets. Van Persie hobbled back to his own, propping his crutches against the wall and fluffing his pillow. After several failed jumps, Andrei Arshavin managed to reach his bed and swing himself onto the mattress.

Content that his players were settled down, Wenger headed for the lightswitch.

"Mister Wenger?"

It was Kieran Gibbs, who was still sitting up in his bed.

Wenger sighed. "Yes, Kieran?"

Gibbs paused, deep in thought. In the background, a pathetic yelp was followed by a soft crunch; Alex Song had evidently rid the premises of his ex-teammate. Gibbs looked up at his manager. "Do YOU think I'm the new Ashley Cole?"

Wenger chuckled. "Well, would you leave your childhood club because they offered to increase your weekly wage to three times the national average annual salary, rather than three and a half times?"

Gibbs scoffed. "No, how ungrateful!"

Wenger smiled wryly. "And would you push for a transfer to another club by not only illegally meeting their manager and chief executive, but doing so in a hotel?"

Gibbs scrunched up his face. "That would be a bit stupid!"

"How about marrying the darling of the nation and then cheating on her several times?"

The youngster was outraged. "Of course not!"

Wenger grinned and turned the light off. "Then I'm sorry, Kieran. You would have to do more than simply be the best young left-back in England."

(Just in case Ashley Cole's expert lawyers are reading this: firstly, I loved the 'faulty police speed gun' argument; secondly, this is all fictional, and as far as I am aware the alleged affairs never happened...)

Has Arsene found a new first-choice starter?

2010-02-11T18:04:00.002Z

Last night was a massive result, and I was pleased to see the team showing a bit of grit this time. It was a relief to hold off the 'resurgent' Reds with a well-fought three points, although the bigger result was closer to home for the Scousers - thanks to a certain Mr. Saha, we're now back to within six points of the summit. Maybe he would have been worth a go after all...

The match didn't start terribly well for us. There was some dreadful marking for the first couple of set-pieces, and one free-kick which dropped into Almunia's dangerzone (aka near him) looked ready to be bundled into the net until the keeper caught it on the bounce. With the match turning stale early on, things weren't looking promising - nothing less than a win would have done for us, as both Liverpool and Manchester City would have been in a good position to turn the race for 4th into one for 3rd had we drawn.

But we gradually got ahold of the game, largely thanks to some much improved defending. Gael Clichy was getting the better of Kuyt and Ngog, making some vital last-ditch clearances and getting a head on the ball when everyone else essentially ducked and hid behind the men they were marking. Nicklas Bendtner gave us some direction up front, his intelligent runs causing problems for the Liverpool centre-backs and at one stage putting him one-on-one with the goalkeeper - a position I haven't seen any Arsenal player get himself into for a long time.

William Gallas was yet again a rock at the back. He spared us the embarrassment of conceding to David Ngog - a young forward, but one who has already bypassed the record number of colourful adjectives I have ever heard ascribed to one footballer. He wrong-footed Vermaelen and simply had to cut inside and finish past Almunia, but he bundled it the wrong way and Gallas managed to nip in with an excellent tackle. A nervy moment, but a bit of luck and great composure from the defender - and for the rest of the game, Ngog was about as intimidating as Samir Nasri's Sky Sports penpic video.

There was an interesting performance from Emmanuel Eboue. He was far more productive going forward than Sagna has been, contributing to some tidy passing moves and giving that rat thing playing on the left of the Liverpool defence a torrid time. In the first half he was one of our most industrious players, although his forward play could have come at a price had our opponents capitalised on catching him out of position a couple of times.

Almunia had a decent game and made a cracking save to deny Babel. When the winger came on there was a tangible anxiety amongst the players, and he made an instant impact with a dipping shot which Almunia nicked with his fingertips as it peaked. The goalkeeper generally didn't have much to do, but he showed a bit more command of his area by coming for some loose balls rather than hiding timidly behind a post and leaving them for his defenders, something which has happened far too often recently.

Fabregas was harried on and off the ball throughout, and it showed: although he was heavily involved and played a role in most of our attacks, he played a few uncharacteristically sloppy passes and didn't seem as focussed as usual. He did, however, grow in influence over the second half, as Liverpool's midfield began to tire and he managed to pick them apart with the odd throughball. Our opponents' commitment to controlling Fabregas - he was effectively double-marked at times - was partly the reason why Diaby was unmarked when he scored, as the Spaniard had done what he does best to split up their defence. Having shaken off his marker, he drew Skrtel well out of position, played Rosicky past Insua, and brought about six defenders with him as he moved out to the right in support.

Diaby had a great game all round, and he thoroughly deserved to cap it with a goal. He dropped deep more often than usual, giving Song license to roam from time to time and get himself involved with some neat passing of his own; but this didn't stop him from rampaging forward when needed. Several times he played his way through two Liverpool players at once, using his strength to hold them at bay while keeping the ball glued to his gangly legs. I'm a bit surprised to find myself saying this, but it was Diaby, not Fabregas or Song, who was our real engine last night.

In two appearances since his return from injury, he has contributed more in midfield than Denilson has in the last couple of months. The Brazilian's form, which had already been about as satisfactory as a visit to the Portsmouth website, crashed spectacularly against United, and Diaby has since fit the box-to-box role superbly. Over the course of the season he has performed capably between the advanced and holding midfielders, and has supplemented some good all-round displays by providing seven goals already.

I wasn't his biggest fan before this season - he had generally been distinctly underwhelming when he started and was often a liability in possession. But since the start of the summer he has clearly worked hard to improve his fitness, with his strength and speed the most notable beneficiaries, and he has made remarkable progress technically. He no longer spills the ball or gets it caught under his feet, and seems a lot more aware of the movement around him. To be fair to him, an injury-ridden couple of years after his arrival didn't exactly help him to ease into the team's style; but after featuring more regularly for the last 18 months, it's clear that he's now integrated into the line-up.

To me, he has offered a more positive approach in the engine room than Denilson. The Brazilian still looks lightweight and defensively vulnerable, and his lack of pace not only prevents him from getting about the pitch in the same way as Diaby and Ramsey can, but can be detrimental to his positioning and recovery. I now feel a lot more at ease with Diaby in the starting XI, and I'm hoping to see more of him in the next few matches.

It's my fault if Arsenal lose tonight...

2010-02-10T15:05:00.001Z

Evidently not satisfied with Portsmouth falling to pieces, the Leeds players getting beaten up and a mid-week flurry of Premiership fixtures to preview, several media outlets have again delved into their non-news archives and lamely rolled out familiar pieces claiming that 'sources within the club' have provided them with vague information about Fabregas 'agreeing to join Barcelona' in the summer.

I can only imagine that having given Cesc several breathy phone calls in the middle of the night and being met with a warning from Arsene Wenger and the board about getting the police involved, Joan Laporta has moved his presidential campaign to a more subversive level and thrown forth his media minions from the safety of his office. Arsene Wenger would never give another club permission to talk to one of his players outside a transfer window, particularly one of his most valuable assets or indeed his captain; similarly, I would like to think that Cesc Fabregas has too much professionalism about him to agree to a transfer with three months of the season remaining, regardless of his possible desire to eventually return to his former club.

Regarding matters of substance, we should see Nicklas Bendtner start tonight. He's had a run out in each of the last two games and seems fit enough to play from the kick-off, and the fluid yet fruitless passing exercise against Chelsea should have finally persuaded Wenger that a proper striker will be necessary. The back four could stay the same, but I wouldn't be surprised if Eboue comes in for Sagna - the latter has apparently been playing with a knock for quite some time, and this is a change that Wenger often saves for home games.

Liverpool will be without Torres and Benayoun, but have hit some decent form and will be feeling confident. Gerrard has started to improve and Rodriguez will probably start, but the same midfield three of Fabregas, Diaby and Song should be enough to dominate the centre.

I think Wenger will stick with Walcott to help him back into the swing of things, and personally I think this is the right time for him to start. Emiliano Insua has looked extremely vulnerable on the left of Liverpool's defence, and his tendency to leave his position exposed could let Walcott tear him to pieces. Conversely, the absence of Glen Johnson will be a relief to Gael Clichy, who himself is short on confidence, but Dirk Kuyt is always productive down Liverpool's right wing and we'll have to hope that the left-back has regained some of his pace to keep him at bay.

There's been all sorts of speculation flying around about Arshavin's relationship with the rest of the team, but knowing Wenger he would have dropped the Russian by now if he was damaging the atmosphere in the dressing room. If he is pushed out to a more natural position on the wing, he and Walcott (as well as Eboue and Clichy) will benefit from flanking a tall striker and putting in crosses that a 5 foot 2 supporting forward shouldn't be expected to get a head to. Regardless, the Russian's very presence will be enough to get Agger, Carragher and Skrtel panicking and crashing into each other like the Three Stooges trying to catch a household pest.

The boys know this is their last real chance to get back in the title race; what's more, they will need three points to fend off competition for third place from both Liverpool and Manchester City. The XI which I would like to see tonight:

Fabianski
Eboue
Clichy
Gallas
Vermaelen
Song
Diaby
Fabregas
Walcott
Arshavin
Bendtner

This game will be an interesting one. If it all goes wrong, blame me for going to a friend's house which seems to be cursed for Arsenal matches - every time I go there, we lose. Still, if Theo Walcott has eaten his lunch today without dropping it, burning his knee and being ruled out for the match, my faith in football miracles remains unshaken.

Were Arsenal one player away from the top two?

2010-02-08T16:46:00.003Z

Forget pretty passing versus anti-football. Whether they liked it or not, and indeed whether we capitalised or not, we did dominate Chelsea. The ball spent considerably more time in their third than in ours, and it seemed as though we could have passed it around the edge of their area for weeks... albeit a bit pointlessly.

And forget Wenger's reluctance to splash out on expensive players. At least five of the regular XI who took us to the top of the table a couple of weeks ago were bought for such a relative pittance that even Portsmouth would have felt guilty had they been allowed to pursue such exploitative transfers in the recent window.

What Arsenal lacked yesterday was power, and the introduction of Nicklas Bendtner with only 25 minutes remaining made that abundantly clear. It was hardly as if we'd brought Thierry Henry on, yet he was the first Arsenal player to make the Chelsea defence worry and he was the only one who could work his way through without his team-mates surrounding him in a web of one-touch passes. Had he started, we could have turned our dominance and attractive attacking play - which in itself was a considerable improvement after our last couple of meetings with the West London outfit - into goals.

We've been losing games to powerful players like Drogba, Rooney and Ronaldo for years, and we can't keep playing the big teams without an equivalent. Abou Diaby's physical presence in the centre of the park was beneficial, and this was one of the reasons Wenger picked him; but one more player with his size and strength could have changed the game for us. Again, he didn't take over the midfield, but his physicality allowed him to make a few successful challenges and drive through with the ball at his feet. I don't know how Denilson would have contributed to our defending against yesterday's opponents, but after his performance against United I can only assume that wincing and covering his eyes might have been part of it.

In a way, yesterday was more frustrating than the United game because we really took the game to them. We were spraying passes all over the place and kept the ball for huge spells of the match, to the extent that we almost ran the game. Cesc and Nasri were freely knocking it around, and although they were often let down by Arshavin's decision-making, they stood out over the likes of Lampard and Ballack. Diaby supported his captain well in the midfield, while Song screened the defence capably.

But almost all of our players were guilty of one thing - more than ever, they just wouldn't shoot. A couple of long shots wouldn't have hurt, especially against an in-form goalkeeper who never looked like conceding from close range; and the fact that we've seen Cesc, Nasri and Arshavin all pull it off before made it still more vexing. Having accompanied us to the pub for a drink without much interest in the football, even my girlfriend ended up literally yelling at the television in a seething fit of rage after watching pass after pass come to nothing.

Efficiency was indeed the difference between the two teams. Chelsea are not only a highly athletic team, but they have the technical ability to finish off games, none more so than Didier Drogba. When they did go forward, they often hit us on the counter-attack, which used to be our hallmark - so for Arsene to complain afterwards was more than a touch unfair.

However, the hosts' superior resolve going forward was complemented by a big concern for us at the back. Sagna did well, and both of the centre-backs had good games (I couldn't believe how well Vermaelen took Florent Malouda's attempt to head his skull across the pitch), but Gael Clichy was nowhere near good enough.

The left-back had a poor first half, and was certainly accountable for the second goal. His panicked flitting back and forth between two forwards allowed them to spread out their counter-attack, and his dreadful positioning - I think Samir Nasri would have wanted his space back - left Vermaelen trying to contain his marker while covering for him.

He was also largely responsible for the first goal. Whatever possessed him to leave his position at the far post when the ball had barely left the corner flag, I couldn't quite fathom, but regardless of what is happening around your area you cannot immediately abandon your post and leave the goalkeeper exposed. Admittedly, he wasn't the only one: Vermaelen and Song let their markers go, and Fabregas wandered out of the area as it was all going on. But a player I considered to be one of the best left-backs in Europe is currently nowhere near the form he was on a couple of years ago, and he simply has to improve. The good news was that he grew into the second half, and I got the impression that Wenger had a few choice words for him during the break - however, I thought this in each of the last two games, and it's been a costly trend.

Anyway, the result was met with more panicking from fans and the media, but Wenger does deserve more empathy from both. Injuries have hit us hard as always - I don't need to point out that van Persie's absence has been particularly damaging, but the ongoing fitness problems of Eduardo, Nicklas Bendtner and Theo Walcott haven't done much to compensate for his loss. If one thing costs us silverware this year, it would almost certainly be the injury problem above all else, perhaps more so than the previous campaign. And yes, it would be extremely difficult, but we may well cut down the gap between ourselves and first place in the coming weeks - and even a three-point advance would make things look a lot better.

Although their aversion to shooting became infuriating at times, the team deserves credit for bringing their game to a difficult venue and playing far better than last weekend. The result wasn't much of an improvement, but a home tie against Liverpool with a much fitter line-up could be a good opportunity to bounce back.

One final note about our goalkeeper. I was disappointed with Almunia over the last two games, and I think it's time for a change between the sticks.

As is the case with several of our players at the moment, we know what he's capable of. Last season we were indebted to a run of brave, authoritative, and at times outstanding goalkeeping, without which fourth place may well have eluded our weak, limp-wristed grasp. But everytime he makes one or two mistakes, he just looks sullen and vulnerable, and his back four are losing their faith in him.

Yesterday, his confidence dropped lower in the face of a long-haired, headline-grabbing double-D than John Terry's trousers; and just like Terry's haggard, Droopy-Dog-like features, he was seriously punching above his weight. Responding to Didier Drogba's second by screaming and ducking while flailing his hands as if attempting to shoo a diseased house rat clearly set the stage for the second half, as he then dealt with what could easily have been the Ivorian's third by meekly watching it smash against the bar from the opposite side of his goal. Almunia has looked shakier than Jens Lehmann did before he lost his place in late 2007; accordingly, I think Fabianski should be given his chance against Liverpool.

Chins up, chests out: tomorrow could go Arsenal's way

2010-02-06T23:03:00.002Z

The line-up tomorrow should be an interesting one.

Wenger has a funny habit of trying to reassure himself about previous defeats, in that he will throw a trembling, traumatised youngster into the fray either against the very team that once placed him on the brink of nervous breakdown, or for the match immediately following a disastrous individual performance. He admitted this last season, and Lucasz Fabianski can attest to such a policy after several interesting outings against tomorrow's opponents. Philippe Senderos vs Didier Drogba is a prime example.

For this reason, there's a small chance we will see a change in goalkeeper. In the last month, Almunia has picked nearly as many balls out of his net as Vanessa Perroncel has picked naive Chelsea players to exploit, and Wenger might "keep the faith" and hope that he can return to form at the right time. On the other hand, Fabianski has some critics (largely Chelsea fans and those who watch the odd big game from time to time) to silence, and I wouldn't be surprised if the boss was at least considering a change.

In the last few days, Wenger has repeatedly stated that Abou Diaby 'might' be back from fitness, and seems to have attached as much importance to his availability as to that of Vermaelen this time last week. Diaby is another who has a messy history against Chelsea, but he has both matured and bulked up this season and I can see him making a big contribution if he starts tomorrow. If he doesn't make it, then hopefully feeling the colossal Frenchman's breath down his neck will motivate Denilson to improve on last week - or just not respond to losing possession by running slower than Tom Huddlestone after a Sunday roast.

That aside, the player who could make a real difference tomorrow is Nicklas Bendtner.

Over the last year he has been effective down either flank, but he's made it perfectly clear that he prefers the central position and is admirably confident that he will make it as a true striker. This will be a big chance, and I think he could take it; the team has sorely lacked variety up front without him and van Persie, something which it will need more than ever tomorrow. Giving a new dimension to our crafty passing moves and using his size, aerial ability and strength to compete with his markers, he could tear between John Terry and the rest of his defence nearly as effectively as a manipulative French hostess in a ₤400-to-use-the-toilet London nightclub.

John Obi Mikel might be rushed back from his post-ACN rest to fill the holding role in Michael Essien's absence, which could be glorious news for us. Whenever Fabregas has faced the holding midfielder, he seems to have been able to spray passes around without too much obstruction, and with Lampard now fronting their central diamond he won't be able to sit deeper and run the midfield like he did during that shocker at the Emirates last May. Furthermore, their right-back could be the 'weak link' out of the opposition back four; and if Arshavin is deployed down the left, he could be particularly deadly.

With Eduardo injured, the front three will definitely change. Both Nasri and Arshavin might start, but the final place should go to either Bendtner or Walcott. In any case, this is the first XI I think could get something out of the game, and one which may well be identical to the one we see at 4pm tomorrow:

Almunia
Sagna
Clichy
Gallas
Vermaelen
Song
Diaby
Fabregas
Nasri
Arshavin
Bendtner

With as much of a like-for-like swap up front as possible, this is virtually a full-strength team. With Walcott back to some form of fitness, we've got the option of letting him rip down the right-wing and reminding everyone of what he's capable of; the Chelsea players could see Ashley Cole more flustered than the last time he picked up a bill and saw the service charge. The bench should also look a bit more dependable this time round, with Rosicky, Ramsey and Eboue all in contention.

Stay optimistic Gooners - these boys have it in them to pull off a surprise.

Are there more secrets to come out before Arsenal play Chelsea?

2010-02-04T23:45:00.004Z

(Sketch)

With moments to go before kick-off, Stamford Bridge was rocking. Harry J Allstars were playing over the tannoy, and the sizeable, facially deformed beasts in the home stand were shuffling their elephantine feet and clapping out of time. In the away end, the Arsenal fans were chanting about the delights of being a Gooner, and politely informing their hosts that the West London club lacked any real history.

Beneath the stands, the teams were preparing for their crunch match.

Carlo Ancelotti strolled into the home dressing room and clapped his hands. "Right-ah, listen up. We will go over the game plan once more-ah, and then we will be ready. Defenci, what do you do?"

He turned to the back-four, who were sat together on the near bench.

Ricardo Carvalho was smiling absently back at him, his hairline receding by the second and stray hairs floating delicately around his shoulders in a dark, fluffy cloud. In stark contrast, Branoslav Ivanovic was glaring at the floor, his eyes twitching maniacally and his lip curling as he struggled to remember his instructions. Ashley Cole was busy raiding his team-mates' lockers for spare change, and John Terry seemed preoccupied with his phone.

Ancelotti cleared his throat. "John?"

Terry looked up. "Oh, sorry boss. I was just texting Joe's w... my wife, to make sure she got to the stadium okay."

Ancelotti clapped his hands. "Pay attention! So, defenders -"

"Mister Ancelotti," a muffled voice interrupted.

The players turned to see Frank Lampard in the corner of the dressing room, struggling to speak as his podgy fingers frantically crammed a double cheeseburger into his mouth. Smears of ketchup, mayonnaise and grease adorned his cheeks and chin, and crumpled fast food wrappers were littered across his wide lap. Rolls of blubber were spilling out of his overly tight shirt, and his arm flab quivered wildly as he raised his other hand.

"When we have a late kick-off, what time's dinner again?"

Frustrated, Ancelotti glanced at the clock and held both hands out. "We haven't got time for this. Now listen -"

"Do my cornrows look okay?" Florent Malouda enquired, inspecting his reflection in the industrial amounts of hair wax oozing down Michael Ballack's forehead.

Ancelotti continued, raising his voice. "Please, will you all -"

"Mister Ancelotti, maybe Paolo play today?" Ferreira smiled hopefully, knocking his knees together and twiddling his thumbs.

"That's enough!" Ancelotti bellowed. "Listen to me!"

But no sooner had he caught their attention than the referee knocked on the door and stuck his head in. "The Arsenal players are waiting, you're late."

The Chelsea players headed for the door, stretching their upper bodies and psyching themselves up. Terry and Ivanovic heaved Lampard's wobbling, whale-like frame towards the tunnel, while Ashley Cole hastily poured his findings into his locker and scurried after them, a few remaining coins jingling in his shorts.

His players stampeding past him, Ancelotti stood on his toes and called out last-minute instructions. "Two of you stick to Fabregas at all times! And remember, Didier - if in doubt, fall and shout!"

Petr Cech strapped on his gloves and lumbered towards the door, his long arms lolling at his sides.

Ancelotti rushed after him and waved his arms. "Petr! Watch out for-"

Cech's head smashed into the doorframe. The goalkeeper keeled over, grasping his helmet and shouting Czech obscenities. "I be fine, I be fine," he spluttered, staggering dazedly into the tunnel.

The players lined up alongside the visitors, jumping up and down on the spot and flexing their necks. Malouda conversed with some of the French players, while Ashley Cole avoided making eye-contact with his former team-mates and picked distractedly at the wall.

"John," Drogba whispered, as Terry walked past to take his position at the front. He grabbed the captain by the arm and took him aside. "I just thought you should know, if you are anxious about the whole Vanessa thing... You are not alone. I had a fling with her too."

Terry was incredulous. "What?!"

"Yes," Drogba whispered. "I saw her for a while. Some of the others did too. So don't let it get to you today, worry about it another time. We need the three points."

"But... how did this come about?"

Drogba looked around to make sure none of the Arsenal players were listening. Samir Nasri, who had clearly been eavesdropping, nervously averted his gaze and suddenly took great interest in the sponsor's logo on his shirt.

The striker turned back to his captain. "We spent an evening in, just doing each other's ponytails and making luck bracelets, and it just sort of... happened. It lasted a few weeks and we got a bit serious." He sighed, a look of longing in his eyes. "We were meant to go diving in the Seychelles. But someone else moved in on her and it never happened."

Ashley Cole stuck his head out from behind Terry, an obnoxious smirk spreading across his face. "Yeah, sorry Drog," he sneered in a caustic tone. "That was me."

John Terry raised an eyebrow, amazed by the extent of her promiscuity within the Chelsea circle. "And where did you take her, Ashley?"

"We went to this restaurant on the edge of town..." Cole's smug expression faded, and his eyes glazed over with nostalgia. "We had a proper candle-lit dinner. She looked... gorgeous. We drank wine and laughed for hours, and afterwards I took her dancing. We came back through the city centre in a limo and looked at all the lights along the Thames."

The tunnel had fallen silent. Terry and Drogba exchanged sceptical glances, while the Arsenal players sniggered. Even Mikael Silvestre seemed to have clocked what was going on, and guffawed dopily at the end of the queue.

"Just kidding," Cole grinned impishly. "I took her to the training ground caff for free with my members' card. I made her pay for the taxi though."

(Just a bit of fun, Chelsea fans! Again, this is fictional - as far as I'm aware, neither Didier Drogba nor Ashley Cole has had any sort of relationship with Vanessa Perroncel. Still, you never know...)

Breakthrough for Arsenal

2010-02-01T14:49:00.006Z

Last night, Arsenal became the first ever sports team to embarrass themselves in all three dimensions. A handful of lucky fans in a few select pubs were given the next visual spectacle after Avatar, and I'm sure they weren't disappointed.

The 90-minutes-but-seemingly-thrice-as-long show opened at the Emirates, a quiet, peaceful stadium rich in raw talent. The home side were known as the Na'iv, an idealistic people with a purist ideology; they were defending against a corporation ran by a clueless American profiteer.

But there was no happy ending last night. Our hero, Tomas Rosicky, a man in a new body with working legs, was kept fairly quiet like the rest of our forwards, while the defending Na'iv were eventually overwhelmed by the enemy's various attacking resources. Their answer to the brave girl pilot who had defected from the enemy was Mikael Silvestre, who I imagine spent most of the match smiling and waving at his old friends from the safety of the bench; they clearly needed something else. So with time running out, the Na'iv threw forth the squawking, malcoordinated flying thing they could tame on occasion - but Theo Walcott's introduction was to no avail.

Gael Clichy and Denilson provided the comic relief - although Avatar doesn't really offer an equivalent for their staunch, robust defending against United, and Jar Jar Binks might have been more apt. The pair of them were pathetic, playing so poorly that their doleful puppy eyes trick might not have been enough this time to spare them from Wenger's wrath; and any comparisons with the plucky underdogs protecting their world against alien onslaught come to an end with these two.

Indeed, Clichy was so awful that it seems he has now given Nani the impression that he's a good winger. In the build-up to the first goal, Clichy and Nasri put in a sandwich tackle that was about as tough and crunching as a WeightWatchers light tuna and sweetcorn ready-made, softly tickling the winger's dainty feet as he airily minced away from the touchline. Denilson then kind of stuck his foot in front of him, only to shyly retract it and literally step AWAY from his opponent. Nani then scooped the ball towards the far post, and Almunia beat the waiting United forwards to it with all the grace and poise of a Rooney family Christmas dinner.

The second goal was even more embarrassing. Sagna was the only player to stay back when we took our corner; Gael Clichy, who should have been with him, was inexplicably lurking near the edge of the United area. He was utterly statuesque as Rooney turned him and started the counter-attack; and when the United players broke forward, he decided that he would contribute to our efforts to repel them by running directly behind Denilson, who himself was tracking back as quickly as Dimitar Berbatov in a warm-down exercise. The only players making a proper effort to get back were Thomas Vermaelen and Samir Nasri, who sprinted past them like men possessed despite being considerably further away from our half when the move started. Denilson's lack of pace and Gael Clichy's awful positioning allowed Nani to play Rooney through, and I wondered if we would have had a better chance of preventing the goal had we dragged the two most obese, sluggish supporters in the stadium out of their seats and told them to just get in the way a bit.

The third goal was one of the worst pieces of defending I have ever seen from an Arsenal team. The move started when Denilson received a pass and brought it under the kind of close control that Steve McClaren once exerted over the England national team. Having spilt possession in a dangerous position, his response was to lightly jog back with even less concern than he did in the build-up to the previous goal. Bizarrely, Thomas Vermaelen let himself get sucked out of position when Rooney received the ball, meaning that when the Scouser tapped it back to Carrick and the midfielder played it over the top to Park, there was no one stopping him except for Clichy. At least Vermaelen (and again, Nasri) sprinted back though - despite the whole move coming down our right flank, I had literally no idea where Sagna was.

Next Sunday should be, but won't be, Fabianski's chance to push for first choice. Almunia looked more drunk and dejected than everyone in my local put together, his change in haircut from the dazzling 08-09 'Death by Peroxide' look to the 09-10 'Sleeping in a Skip' reflecting quite accurately his nosedive in form. He is a talented goalkeeper, and he showed it with two brilliant saves at Aston Villa last week - but he hasn't got the character or the confidence to be a consistent Top Four player, which is all the more alarming when one considers his age, position, and leadership responsibility. There is literally no connection between him and the back four, and his defenders have started to opt for dangerous clearances when the best option is clearly to pass it back to him, such is their lack of faith in him at the moment.

I noticed that even Fabregas couldn't quite get a grip on the game. Despite starting very brightly, and generally being one of the few hard-working players who gave the opposition something to think about, he wasn't as influential as he has been over the last couple of months. Ferguson had evidently ensured that one of his midfielders would always shadow the Spaniard and keep him quiet, and Michael Carrick was at times getting as disconcertingly close as John Terry being introduced to a mate's new girlfriend. To resort to an oft-used metaphor, the captain was hardly the conductor for our ailing orchestra; the responsibility appeared to fall to the generic Russian lead violinist, who spent much of the first half-hour preparing to start a movement that would send the spectators into raucous applause, only to go off on an out-of-place solo and leave us all scratching our heads.

To be fair, the main positive was that Arshavin did cause them problems before they scored, and that he could have made the difference. We started well with some neat counter-attacks, and Nasri looked dangerous; but ultimately two moments of self-indulgence by the Russian prevented us from taking a lead. Had we gone 1-0 up, I believe we would have won it - but from the moment United scored we were thrown into disarray and clearly lacked the resilience to bring ourselves back into it.

While Vermaelen's goal was hardly of the class to match United's second or third, I was pleased to see someone actually take the initiative to shoot without waiting for the requisite 50 passes first. Like Rosicky's equaliser against Everton, there was a huge element of luck but it doesn't happen unless you have a go. Like Gallas and Song, Vermaelen had a decent game overall; but again, the centre-backs and holding midfielder were let down by mindless mistakes elsewhere.

It occurred to me after the game that Kieran Gibbs' injury could prove almost as serious to our chances of silverware as Robin van Persie's. Clichy has no real rival for the left-back slot, and Gibbs has played well enough in his handful of appearances in an Arsenal shirt to convince me that he might have been given a chance over the Frenchman this season were he fit. With Clichy playing this poorly and Traore next in the pecking order, this position could be our Achilles heel - and both Martin O'Neill and Alex Ferguson have clearly noticed.

I'll try to end on a positive note. Of course, last night was a big blow to our title hopes, but we're still only four points behind United and - for the time being - five behind Chelsea; and keep in mind that we're getting most of the tricky ties out of the way well before our rivals. I think there's a good chance that the out-of-form Denilson will suffer for his apathy last night and lose his place against Chelsea, especially considering that Diaby should be fit and Ramsey has impressed lately. As for the forwards, Bendtner has now had a run out and there is no reason why he can't start - he will give us the variety we need, as well as an aerial threat against a defence known for being strong in the air. With these players coming back from fitness, our bench won't just consist of seven youngsters who have been out for two months and need a quick run-out, and we will have more options to choose from.

Anyway, I'm away until the weekend so this will be my last post for a few days. In the meantime, if you haven't had a look yet, I'll leave you with this.

Arsenal and Manchester United in 'A Tipsy Team Talk'

2010-01-30T14:14:00.004Z

(Sketch)

Ten minutes remained until kick-off. The Arsenal and Manchester United players had just completed their warm-ups, and were now filing down the tunnel to their respective changing rooms.

There was a tangible sense of anticipation spreading throughout the Emirates. Huge banners billowed as they were passed around the stands, while fans took to their seats and speculated excitedly about the line-ups. In the Green Quadrant, the home and away support exchanged melodic banter; the Manchester United supporters were doing their best to make themselves heard after the long journey down.

With darkness beginning to descend, the floodlights blazed over the arena. The immaculate pitch was illuminated by their glare, the radiant green glow of the turf complementing the increasingly vibrant atmosphere.

Kick-off was drawing closer. A cotton blanket of red and white scarves unfurled itself across the home stands to the opening refrain of 'The Wonder of You'.

Meanwhile, in the Manchester United changing room, the players were sat on the benches awaiting their manager's team-talk.

Gary Neville was complaining about the recent insults by Carlos Tevez to a disinterested Park Ji-Sung. Remaining fiercely loyal to his Argentinian friend, the midfielder had defiantly rammed his fingers into his ears and was now obstinately - and tunelessly - warbling a traditional South Korean ditty at the top of his voice.

Dimitar Berbatov, who had given training a miss, had only just come out of the shower; he was now sauntering languidly across the dressing room in his towel, his crow-like features and withering hairline still wet after an inexplicable 45 minutes of lazy lavation. Michael Owen, clean-shaven and raring to go, watched in disbelief, wondering how much it would take for the Bulgarian to finally irk the Manchester United management.

In the corner of the changing room, Nemanja Vidic was vigorously devouring a raw beef steak, his face soaked in cow blood.

A minute of near silence passed, with most of the dressing room becoming concerned about their manager's absence. Mike Phelan was stood by the door checking his watch, growing visibly anxious as the kick-off drew nearer.

"Where is... boss?" Antonio Valencia awkwardly enquired.

Phelan pushed the door ajar and poked his head into the tunnel - still no sign of Ferguson. He closed the door and folded his arms. "I'm sure he'll be here soon."

The players started to grumble amongst themselves as the assistant leaned back against the wall, closing his eyes and wondering where on earth Ferguson had got to.

Suddenly, there was a loud crash in the tunnel, followed by the sound of laboured breathing and heavy footsteps. The room shook as something large hit the other side of the near wall, propelling a screaming Rafael da Silva across the floor.

The players leapt to their feet, visibly startled. The commotion continued in the hall as they babbled anxiously amongst themselves and considered the possibility of an attempt at intimidation by Arsenal.

"Wait," Michael Carrick called out. The room fell silent.

The midfielder held out a hand and sniffed the air. "Does anyone else smell... alcohol?"

The players turned to face the door to the tunnel. The handle was now rattling sporadically, and the same large weight that had hit the wall seemed to be slumped against the other side of the door. The atmosphere was tense; all around the room, hearts were pounding against rib cages, and beads of sweat were trickling down foreheads.

Ryan Giggs stepped forward cautiously. "Perhaps we should -"

He was hushed by his team-mates. The rattling was now frantic, and ill-tempered grunting could be heard in the tunnel. Phelan held Giggs aside and inched towards the door, his hand poised to turn the handle; the players all held their breath.

Suddenly, the door burst open. Sir Alex Ferguson stumbled into the room, his cheeks flaring a magnificent scarlet and his white Manchester United polo stained with crimson splatters. In his hand was a large bottle of red wine, which was now spilling freely over the United players as he struggled to maintain his balance. He had neglected to tie up the top of his tracksuit trousers, and his waistband was now flapping perilously close to the lower limits of good taste.

"What are you all looking at?" he slurred, leering obnoxiously at his players. "You all think you're so important with your... cars, and your trainers..."

Mike Phelan rubbed his eyes in frustration. No matter how many times this happened, he would never know how to handle it. "Alex, maybe you could just -"

"That's Sir Alex to you, Felon!" Ferguson barked, staggering disjointedly in the direction of his assistant. "You're no Carlos Qu-" He hiccupped crudely, sprinkling his assistant's face with yeasty spittle.

"Yes, okay Sir Alex," Phelan continued, wincing and wiping his face. He held his hands out and made a downward gesture. "Maybe we can just put the bottle down."

Ferguson nodded - then violently threw the bottle across the room. It exploded against a locker, showering nearby players with shards of glass.

"My eye!" Jonny Evans screamed. "Oh my God, there's glass in my eye!"

Antonio Valencia groaned weakly, his feeble fingers fluttering across the top of his head to find the source of the blood which was now cascading freely down his forehead.

Nemanja Vidic sat in between them, simply staring forward with a fixed, resolute expression. The unblinking Serb seemed completely oblivious to the sharp debris raining down on his skull, which remained curiously unscathed.

Ferguson smiled, his eyelids drifting independently in opposite directions. "We're gonnae win easily... We've got Nummy-Na and Rio back in defence..."

Phelan opened his mouth to remind him, but checked himself. "Sir Alex, I think -"

"Hey, it's Nani," Ferguson giggled, waddling across the changing room as his tracksuit bottoms began their inevitable, mischievous descent. The players behind recoiled in disgust as they were greeted with the sight of two red buttocks jiggling themselves free of their polyester oppressors.

Taking no notice, Nani was tying his bootlaces. "And then the bunny jumped into the hole -"

He stopped short, as a wide, dark shadow spread over his feet. He looked up just in time to see Ferguson stumble, trip over the tracksuit trousers which had now caught around his shins, and lose his balance.

Fearstruck, the winger leapt aside as his manager crashed face-first into the wooden bench, rebounded off it and tumbled to the floor.

Several of the players gasped audibly. Phelan rushed to Ferguson's side, his hands on his head and panic in his eyes. The da Silva twins were huddled together in the corner of the room, wailing and squealing in fright.

The manager's head was turned at an unnatural angle, and his short, squat limbs were jutting out in worrying positions. His cheeks had flushed a peculiar shade of purple; drool oozed out of the corner of his mouth.

He hiccupped and started to mumble incoherently. His tracksuit trousers still snagged around his ankles, he began to roll groggily from side to side, his features contorted in fury.

"Where's Cristiano?!" he yelled, his voice hoarsening. "Where's... Cristiano..." He relaxed and rolled over, his ferocity giving way to gentle sobbing.

Phelan and the players stared in bemused silence. Tears streamed down the bawling Scotsman's cheeks; he tried to wipe them clear, in doing so smearing a globule of mucus across his nose. His soft weeping resonated around the dressing room as he clawed at the floor in drunken despair.

The players all looked at Phelan, silently urging him to do something.

The assistant knelt next to Ferguson, calculating his next few words carefully. Employing the hushed, sympathetic tone of a primary school teacher dealing with a manic-depressive child, he tried to reason with the inebriated manager. "Sir Alex... the match is about to start. Let's get you up."

No sooner had he reached to help Ferguson to his feet than the manager had rolled away and emitted a sort of snore-grunt hybrid. His mouth lolling open and his chin glistening in saliva, the Scotsman faded out of consciousness.

Phelan and the players stared aghast at their inanimate manager. With a key fixture in his team's season literally moments away, one of the greatest managers in football history was lying prostrate on the floor in a state of dangerous intoxication.

The eery silence relinquished itself to the gentle pitter-patter of tiny feet in the tunnel.

"The Arsenal players are heading out," Phelan sighed. "Right, go wait in the tunnel and I'll sort him out - it looks like I'll have to take over."

(If any Manchester United fans see this, it's just a bit of fun... please be good sports! I should clarify that this is fictional - Sir Alex Ferguson does not have a drink problem. Here's hoping for an entertaining home win on Sunday...)

Arsenal win big games without key players - the proof

2010-01-28T20:35:00.003Z

It has emerged that Thomas Vermaelen hasn't fractured his leg, although Wenger says "there is still a good chance he will not play on Sunday".

It won't help matters if he can't play against United, but it's great news that he's not seriously injured. If Arsenal are to challenge for honours this year, we could probably do with two centre-backs who have arguably formed the best pairing in the Premiership this season staying fit. After seeing Wayne Rooney rampaging around Old Trafford recently like a distressed mother rhinoceros separated from its calf, Wenger will know the defence has to be airtight this weekend, and like the rest of us will be praying to the Injury Gods to stop picking on Arsenal for a few days and let us off just this once.

But even if Vermaelen can't make it back in time, there is plenty to be optimistic about. Judging from Campbell's solid performance against Villa last night, I think we might just manage without the wild-eyed Belgian; in fact, Big Sol's monstrous strength could give us the extra dimension needed to sort out Rooney's potent muscle/manboob combination. Plus there is more good news - Wenger reckons Alex Song and Emmanuel Eboue are ready to come back into the squad:

"They are both in good shape. Tired but in good shape. Both of them are available for Sunday."

Anyway, in light of yet another Arsenal injury with all the impeccable timing of a Paul Scholes challenge, I started to think about the times when we have gone into a big match with a half first-choice, half creche starting XI. Casting an eye over some of our most historic victories in the Noughties, I realised that we have toppled some of the best teams in the world without important first-choice players - and in some cases, replacing them with back-ups either young enough to assume that Chelsea might have some history (19-year-old Johan Djourou helping to keep a clean sheet at Old Trafford) or just downright dreadful (Pascal Cygan). And look how many times Manchester United come up...

Arsenal 2 Manchester United 1 (8th November 08):
Emmanuel Adebayor out, Theo Walcott in
Robin van Persie out, Abou Diaby in
Kolo Toure out (on bench after injury), Mikael Silvestre in

AC Milan 0 Arsenal 2 (4th March 08):
Kolo Toure out, Philippe Senderos in
Robin van Persie out (on bench after injury), Emmanuel Eboue in
Tomas Rosicky out, Abou Diaby in

Manchester United 0 Arsenal 1 (17th November 06):
Thierry Henry out, Emmanuel Adebayor in
Robin van Persie out, Fredrik Ljungberg in
Gael Clichy out, Johan Djourou in

Arsenal 2 Juventus 0 (28th March 06):
Sol Campbell out, Philippe Senderos in
Ashley Cole out, Mathieu Flamini in
Lauren out, Emmanuel Eboue in

Real Madrid 0 Arsenal 1 (21st February 06):
Sol Campbell out, Philippe Senderos in
Ashley Cole out, Mathieu Flamini in
Lauren out, Emmanuel Eboue in

Inter Milan 1 Arsenal 5 (25th November 03):
Patrick Vieira out, Ray Parlour in
Lauren out, Pascal Cygan in
Dennis Bergkamp out, Kanu in

Roma 1 Arsenal 3 (27th November 02):
David Seaman out, Rami Shaaban in
Dennis Bergkamp out, Sylvain Wiltord in
Lauren out, Oleg Luzhny in
Martin Keown out, Pascal Cygan in

Manchester United 0 Arsenal 1 (8th May 02):
Robert Pires out, Edu in
Thierry Henry out, Kanu in

Arsenal 3 Manchester United 1 (25th November 01):
David Seaman out, Stuart Taylor in
Martin Keown out, Matthew Upson in

Of course, this is hardly to say that we could turn up at the Nou Camp with Mark Randall running the midfield and come away with an emphatic win - things can go wrong when the team's missing the big guns, which was how we learned more about Pascal Cygan. But it does show that we can get big results with a line-up about as incongruously mixed as Harry Redknapp's facial features.

As for last night, a point was probably what we deserved. We had some luck at our end; Stewart Downing missed a header which Verne Troyer could have put away, while Agbonlahor's pace was causing all sorts of problems. We can thank Manuel Almunia for a couple of impressive saves and a fairly solid performance, without which we might have left Villa Park completely empty-handed.

Sol Campbell put in a classic centre-back's performance, dealing with crosses and generally using his bulk to quell Villa's creativity down the middle. William Gallas played well yet again, showing plenty of authority and handling Agbonlahor much better than he did in their last meeting at the Emirates - I don't think too many would disagree with me when I say that he's been the best centre-back out of any in the top four this season, and certainly a contender for the best in the league. Gael Clichy, on the other hand, won't exactly be delighted with his contribution, having spent much of the first half frantically dragging himself through Ashley Young's muddy wake; however, he upped his game after the break and showed signs that he can get back to form on Sunday.

Tomas Rosicky was causing Villa plenty of problems, and seems to be improving with each game. His composure and decision-making can be vital when other Arsenal forwards are struggling - ie. receiving the ball on the edge of the area, screaming "you do it" and passing it back to a weary Fabregas. He has a great understanding with the captain, and the way they combine in passing movements just goes to show how the team can benefit from two best friends playing together. Oh, to be back in the heady days of that inseparable pair, Adebayor and Bendtner...

Bendtner himself looked fairly sharp considering how long he's been out, but this might be something to do with his postponed return. He had expected to be back in time for the first Bolton game, but had to wait an extra ten days after Wenger figured out that much of our problem with injuries comes down to rushing players back when they are, in fact, still injured. I can only imagine what he was planning before he realised this - maybe next month we were to be treated to a wincing, sobbing van Persie tottering about the penalty area on crutches in a hopelessly offside position, pleading for a substitution while his manager watched on with pride.

Speaking of injury returns, Samir Nasri looked deadly when he came on and I found myself wishing he had been introduced even just a couple of minutes earlier. He was the catalyst in our late, desperate surge, and I hope he starts the next match if he's going to play like that.

Anyway, with Robin van Persie the only first-choice player certain to miss out on Sunday, and Vermaelen possibly still available, we shouldn't be panicking about our chances against United. If Rami Shaaban and Pascal Cygan could handle one of the greatest attacking teams around in 2002, anything is possible.

Why to be grateful for Wenger: the reality of Manchester United's implosion

2010-01-27T14:43:00.003Z

The media has apparently got ahead of themselves in the Chris Smalling situation. Roy Hodgson was interviewed over the defender's potential move yesterday, stating that a bid had been accepted from Manchester United and that he 'believes' Smalling has agreed terms with the club; however, he has not completed his medical yet. Even the BBC announced his signature, breaking their policy of waiting to announce a player's transfer until after he has featured in about five competitive fixtures with his new team.

The media is tearing United to pieces, and it seems utterly bizarre that a club over £700m in debt is still signing new players without at least selling some of their current squad first. The change in the state of their finances since the Glazers' takeover can be compared roughly to the career path of Eric Djemba-Djemba, and it looks like things will only get worse for them.

There was an interesting piece in the Telegraph yesterday by Paul Marshall, a British hedge fund owner and philanthropist - working in his profession, he should know what he's talking about when it comes to obscenely rich Americans destroying businesses in this country. He pointed out that in 2005 Manchester United were completely debt free, and one of the most financially stable clubs in the world - but now United and their holding company are £716.5m in the red. Malcolm Glazer and his family "have saddled the company with debt close to twice the annual turnover and over five times the underlying profits."

You might recall that the Glazers' takeover bid in 2004 was initially rebuffed, with chief executive David Gill telling them that the resulting debt would create problems - their plan for the takeover didn't seem financially viable. But the Glazers came back and successfully bought the club with a new plan based on the use of 'payment-in-kind' (PIK) notes, which could later be converted to shares. The notes were labelled as equity rather than debt.

However, the problem was that interest on these notes could reach 20%, a sidenote which benefited the three hedge funds that invested the money, but would eventually be catastrophic for both United and the Glazers. In 2006, the Glazers reimbursed half of the PIK notes, but the premium paid to the hedge funds and subsequent restructuring increased the debt to £660m. In 2010, the debt is well over £700m.

From a football perspective, it's pretty shocking. Between 2005 and 2009, Manchester United's holding company Red Football Joint Venture Limited has spent over £260m servicing the debt, meaning that Manchester United Plc has faced debt costs averaging £40m per year since the takeover. So money is literally pouring out of United's 'football budget' into the pockets of the bankers.

And apparently, the worst is yet to come. They might have raised £500m from the bond issue last week to pay off some of the current debt, but the club will now be paying annual interest charges of £60m (£40m on the bonds, £20m on PIK); and the Glazers are even entitled to withdraw £140m from Manchester United as dividends to pay the holding company's debts. Marshall insists that the interest payments are only just covered by the club's annual profits, so "Manchester United will never realistically be able to pay off the debt".

If Arsenal were in this position, we would be outraged. I know they might be annoyed that an Arsenal blog is talking about this, but I can understand the United fans' fury over what is happening to their club. Marshall reckons the fans will have to buy the club, and it looks like the supporters who reacted to the 2005 takeover by branching off to form FC United of Manchester had a point. It just goes to show that we really do take for granted the meticulous financial planning over recent years by Arsene Wenger and the board.

At the moment, other clubs have been hit hard by the global financial meltdown - Portsmouth were given winding up orders to pay off their debt to other clubs, in addition to a transfer embargo. While United's debt hasn't yet reached the point where they would suffer such punishments, it doesn't look like spending £8m on a young player is the best idea right now. However, as Smalling won't be joining until next season, it suddenly looks like there might even be some substance to the rumours about Vidic leaving, which previously seemed to have about as much truth to them as Harry Redknapp's latest correspondence with HM Revenue & Customs.

Anyway, back to Arsenal.

If we really have missed out on Chris Smalling, there could be problems for our defence next season. Wenger yesterday clarified that Philippe Senderos will not be offered a new contract, which would suggest that he might still be after a new centre-back. Considering both Gallas and Silvestre will currently be out of contract in the summer, he will have to act fast to sort out new deals and make sure we won't be short at the back next season; although Djourou is yet to return from injury and Havard Nordveit will be back from loan.

As for this evening, the squad is looking a lot stronger. The first XI will be restored, including Bakary Sagna who has recovered from his shoulder injury. Nicklas Bendtner will be on the bench after three months out, and he should be joined by Samir Nasri.

Here's hoping for a good result at Villa Park to get us ready for another six-pointer on Sunday...

Wenger drops a pretty big transfer hint, plus Song to the rescue

2010-01-26T15:04:00.001Z

Suddenly, our squad's looking rather full again - Eboue and Song are back from Angola, just in time to give us a boost before all the six-pointers.

We shouldn't be too excited yet, though. After an intense tournament with little rest beforehand, they will be nearly as tired as an anti-Wenger chant at Old Trafford, and I wouldn't expect either to be in the squad tomorrow. Still though, a week's rest should stand the pair in good stead for United next Sunday, and I would expect Song will be ready to start that one.

Turning our attention to tomorrow night, Villa shouldn't be taken any more lightly than our next opponents. They've been on great form over the last couple of months, and recent wins at Old Trafford and the Stadium of Light aren't to be sniffed at. James Milner has been more dangerous this season than Joan Laporta pulling up in an unlicensed taxi outside Cesc Fabregas' house, and Gabriel Agbonlahor has shown that he can cause us problems. They are in the league's top ten for assists and goals respectively and, along with Ashley Young, could cause us some serious problems. One of the main worries will be their pace on the counter attack, as well as the strength of both Milner and whichever target-man/wardrobe O'Neill picks this time.

With four wins in their last five matches, they'll be in buoyant mood - but with six in our last eight, we won't be any less chirpy. Plus, they've scored half the number of home goals we have, while we've scored the most away goals out of all twenty league teams. Throw in the fact that both Liverpool and Wigan have left Villa Park with three points, and it looks like there's a real possibility that we could get a great result tomorrow night.

In transfer news, Wilshere will be going on loan within the next 48 hours to one of several league teams, with Wenger suggesting Burnley as his most likely destination. The manager also made a statement about Chris Smalling, saying "it just looks like Manchester United offered more than us" before the old classics, "we will not come out on what we are doing exactly" and "if we have anything more to tell you we will let you know", which usually precede an Arsenal signing by rougly five minutes.

Lastly, it turns out Jay-Z is a Gooner. Apparently he was seen at Eastlands last year, prompting a flurry of riveting media reports about him being a City fan. But yesterday he spoke out on an issue that I'm sure has been on the mind of every football fan in the country, saying, "I'm glad Arsenal now know it's them I support," before suggesting that he might meet up with the team.

I don't know how far back his support for Arsenal stretches, but personally I wouldn't blame him if he had picked Manchester City and later decided to switch. I can only imagine it had something to do with Emmanuel Adebayor arriving on the scene, finally getting the chance to meet Beyonce - and then not only propositioning her, but bringing money into it.

Unusual stroke of good luck could help Arsenal win the league

2010-01-25T18:49:00.006Z

Yesterday's defeat at Stoke may have given Chelsea an excellent chance of winning one of the world's most famous cup competitions - indeed, a tournament nearly as old as most of their squad - but it has given us a massive opportunity in the league. Like a kindly Russian oligarch dishing out billions of dollars of his own money to associates, asking only for the odd 'political favour' in return, the fixture list has been rather generous to us this season.

With a ten point gap developing between the top teams and the best of the rest, the title chase is currently looking like a three-horse race, although there is still time for that to change. So while the suitors of fourth place (currently Tottenham, Manchester City, Liverpool and Aston Villa) knock on the Champions League's door in anticipation of the big August Qualifier Ball - jostling in their tuxes, clawing flowerheads out of their rivals' bouquets and trying to ruin each other's painstakingly waxed hairstyles - the top three are taking it in turns to edge a point clear for a few days and borrow the plaudits.

Chelsea are looking like the team to beat, although a new defensive fragility seems to be creeping into the team; meanwhile, Manchester United's form has so far been about as consistent as Rio Ferdinand's career priorities. We've been on blinding form in the league since that 3-0 home defeat to Chelsea back in November and are currently in the ascendancy; and the big clashes over the next three weeks are likely to shape the rest of our title challenge.

So to keep us all in good spirits before our trip to Aston Villa on Wednesday, here are a few reasons why we can finally win this thing again.

---

Extra Domestic Fixtures

Arsenal have sixteen remaining league fixtures, and no other domestic games.

Manchester United have fifteen remaining league fixtures (seven home, eight away), and play City in the League Cup semi-final second leg on Wednesday, which makes it sixteen. With home advantage and an away goal, they have a good chance of reaching the final, which would give them one extra match - and to Sir Alex, an important one for which he would prepare carefully and rest players. Not exactly a massive difference, but I'd imagine they'll have so much injury time along the way that United's energetic, highly motivated workhorse Dimitar Berbatov might devolve into a dawdling, lethargic goal hanger.

Chelsea, on the other hand, may have several more matches to play. They have seventeen remaining league fixtures (eight home, nine away), and play Cardiff at home in the FA Cup fifth round. With Arsenal, United, Liverpool, and Everton all out, they have a huge opportunity to reach the final. This would mean three extra matches (four on the off-chance that Cardiff hold them to a draw and force a replay), meaning there's a good possibility that they will play four more domestic games than Arsenal. As with United's Carling Cup tie(s), they will be taking these seriously, and the likes of Michael Ballack might need the odd nap. If they can avoid another FA Cup giant-killing, Chelsea's fixture list in the closing stages of the season could be nearly as busy as their transfer activity this summer... oh, sorry.

'Big Four' Games

Arsenal will have a considerable advantage if they're still in the title race towards the end of the season, in that they will have faced the rest of the 'Big Four' by mid-February. If anything goes wrong, they should have plenty of time to make up lost ground.

This series of fixtures will also coincide with some injury returns. Sagna and Bendtner should be back in time for Aston Villa, and Diaby should be ready for United.

As for our rivals, United play Liverpool in late March, while Chelsea travel to Anfield on May 1st. They face each other on April 3rd. These fixtures will not only come at the critical stage of the league season, but may cause problems for them if they need to rest players before or after Champions League ties.

The Run-in - Last Seven Matches

The scheduled run-in is slightly in Arsenal's favour, and could be particularly damaging to Chelsea.

Arsenal:
Birmingham (away)
Wolves (home)
Tottenham (away)
Wigan (away)
Manchester City (home)
Blackburn (away)
Fulham (home)

Chelsea:
Aston Villa (home)
Manchester United (away)
Bolton (home)
Tottenham (away)
Stoke (home)
Liverpool (away)
Wigan (home)

Manchester United:
Bolton (away)
Chelsea (home)
Blackburn (away)
Manchester City (away)
Tottenham (home)
Sunderland (away)
Stoke (home)

League Form:

Finally, a quick note about recent league form. Keep in mind that in their last eight league fixtures, each team has played against two top-seven teams:

Arsenal:
WWDWWWDW (4 points dropped)

Chelsea:
WWDDWDLW (9 points dropped)

Manchester United:
WWDWWLWL (8 points dropped)

---

Obviously, the fixture list isn't exactly the be-all and end-all of the title race, but Arsenal have usually been unlucky with the scheduling and this could be hugely helpful. With only two tournaments to focus on compared to the three pursued by both Manchester United and Chelsea, we have less distractions and fewer opportunities for injuries - although, admittedly, Theo can always find a way. Of course the Champions League could change all this, but our exit from both domestic cups means we're at less risk of spreading ourselves thin than our rivals are.

With the best recent form, and the best run-in on paper, we're in a great position. And if we emerge from the next four games with eight or nine points, we really can pull it off.

Shocker at Stoke - a blessing in a grotesque disguise?

2010-01-24T20:43:00.001Z

I'm still not quite sure how to feel about that match, if I'm honest. We went out with a whimper, but after an initial fit of petulant rage comparable to Rory Delap if his ball-drying comfort blankie was taken away, I'm trying to look at the outcome of this afternoon in a positive light.

On the one hand, we were presented with a great opportunity to get our teeth into a tournament that had already seen the back of United, Liverpool, and Everton - not to mention leaving Spurs with it all to do. With Chelsea still in the mix, it wouldn't have been easy, but we had a real chance of finally hoisting the old trophy cabinet out from its current storage space; a dark, dank basement under Highbury Square, I'll wager.

But the good news is that our schedule has been blown wide open - we have 16 league matches left, and all the time in the world to plan for each Champions League fixture. Taking into account the somewhat fragile state of our squad at the moment, this could be a good opportunity for us. Having lost today, we have cut at least one or two more matches out of the fixture list; had we forced a replay, a run to the final might have added up to five extra games, all with the potential of extra time and penalties. Man United have their Carling Cup semi-final second leg coming up with every chance of reaching the final, while Chelsea will be pushing for the FA Cup and, with a home tie against Cardiff in the next round, will almost certainly reach the semi-final. Both teams will be trying to spread themselves over three competitions, increasing the likelihood of injuries, and they'll have to rest players for their Champions League fixtures against the Milan teams.

In addition, the financial rewards of FA Cup participation are always handy, but they pale in comparison to the mammoth amounts of cash we receive from the Premiership and the Champions League. Without having to juggle and rotate, we can compete for both and will have a great chance of reaching the lucrative later stages in Europe. Of course, trophies are what we're after, but I'd pick an extra round in Europe over another futile - and potentially injury-inducing - run to the FA Cup semi-finals.

As for today's match, we were simply outplayed.

Campbell had a good first-half, showing the strength and positioning needed against a physical team like Stoke, and on one particular occasion single-handedly prevented a 2-0 scoreline. He got tired in the second half, and couldn't really track back when we pushed up, but it was a promising 'start' and maybe with a couple more matches he'll build up his stamina. Silvestre had some nervy moments to begin with (ie. getting away with conceding a stonewall penalty) but grew into the game, coming back to help Fabianski a couple of times and turning in arguably his best piece of defending in an Arsenal shirt. With Rory Delap running onto a through ball, Silvestre's excellent positioning in anticipation of the move gave him time to beat his opponent to the ball. He picked up a knock from the resulting collision and was limping slightly afterwards; and I think Wenger would have brought on Bartley had he not used up all of his subs.

I usually back Wenger when he makes a seemingly senile decision (ie. the first few times he used Bendtner on the right wing, with great success) but the triple substitution wasn't one of them. Of course, he didn't fancy a replay and wanted to push for a win, but only two players were necessary at first with half an hour to go. Furthermore, Jay Emmanuel-Thomas had been one of our best performers, handling Stoke's physicality and showing off some Cesc-esque passing; with no sign of the teenager tiring, it might have been worth leaving him on and saving one attacking substitution until later. Wenger was clearly right to take Theo off though - he was very rusty and needs to get back in the swing of things - but I would have liked to have seen Rosicky come on. Out of all our 'front three' candidates (the few who are fit, anyway) he is the one who can give himself time on the ball and bring some composure to the side, something which we desperately needed in the last 20 minutes.

Carlos Vela looked quite sharp, and was unlucky not to put away a second Arsenal goal on his right foot, denied by a well-timed challenge. He wasn't actually that bad during his short stint at left-back (there's a sentence I never imagined myself saying), playing his way out and triggering a counter-attack before being restored to his position - not that I want to see him tested back there again. Armand Traore, however, put in another poor performance, largely summed up by that permanently anxious facial expression of his. He seems to have developed a habit of loitering about the touchline, vacantly watching the animated advertising hoardings with his arms crossed while the midfield sprints back to cover. Kieran Gibbs' long-term injury could be a massive blow if anything else happens to Clichy.

Cesc wasn't quite as effective as he was in his last handful of league games, but he was still one of the few things going for us and was a cut above everyone else in the middle of the park. At times he was dragging the rest of the team, although on a couple of occasions his passing was uncharacteristically sloppy. Still, this is a small criticism, and despite being up against it in a packed midfield, he was the only one regularly finding space, with JET the odd exception.

Although there was no question they deserved their win, I was less than impressed by some of Stoke's methods. Neither the ITV coverage nor the referee paid much attention to Robert Huth's early 'challenge' on Cesc Fabregas; the German effectively wrapped his arm around the Spaniard's neck and lifted him away from the ball (the ball can become a redundant feature at the Britannia). There were a few late challenges and a couple of legs left in, with local pin-up Ryan Shawcross being one of the main offenders.

Matthew Etherington landed quite heavily on Francis Coquelin's head at one point, and although I'm not suggesting it was intentional, he certainly could have avoided sinking his studs into the defender's face. Still, I know a good performance when I see one, and he ran riot against us. He's had a good season and he often got the better of Coquelin - minus one breath-taking tackle by the defensive-midfielder-turned-right-back on the touchline, with which he managed to sweep the ball clean out from the winger's feet and stop it from heading out for a throw-in. Until he was replaced by Danny Pugh, who it would appear was dragged out of a skip shortly before kick-off, he was a constant menace.

It wouldn't have had much of an effect as we were two goals down by then, but the amount of injury time was laughable and referees cannot keep giving Stoke the benefit of the doubt. Whenever Delap takes a throw-in, he picks up that rag of his and takes about a fortnight to dry the ball off. Were he a United player, the total injury time he amassed from his throw-in foreplay would have been enough to make Alex Ferguson smile, pat the fourth official on the back and return to his seat without having a coronary.

Lastly, I hate to resort to what I usually consider a petty excuse, but the pitch was shocking. It was how I would imagine the ecosystem now thriving under that cap permanently fused to Tony Pulis' head - moist and bobbly, with some weird brown patches. If I didn't know any better, I'd say Stoke kept it that way on purpose; but with the likes of Robert Huth stamping about and grazing on it, the groundsman would be forgiven for not bothering at all.

Anyway, bitterness aside, Stoke deserved their win and I hope they play that way against Manchester City in the next round. As for us, we still have a lot to be pleased about, with a slight advantage over our title rivals going into a tricky set of league fixtures. We should be looking fresh at Villa on Wednesday - time to give the league a good crack at last.

Abou Diaby and Johan Djourou in 'Injury Ward II'

2010-01-23T22:17:00.006Z

(Sketch)

"Welcome back, Abou," Gary O'Driscoll beamed, opening the door to the injury ward and stepping aside. "Hello, Bakary, I haven't seen you in a while."

Diaby ducked his head and limped through the door. Standing upright, he paused for a moment to survey the ward and take in the familiar, sterile scent of gauze bandaging and iodine. He smiled contentedly, pleased to be back in the place he used to call home.

Taking a step forward, he momentarily lost his balance; he leaned on Sagna for support, only to aggravate the full-back's shoulder injury.

"Merde!" Sagna snapped, his braids swaying in indignation. He grasped his shoulder and glared at the midfielder, who remained completely oblivious.

"Come along, Abou," O'Driscoll beckoned. "We've still got your bed."

At the far side of the injury ward, the aisle between the two rows of beds ended with one larger bed, approximately three times their size. It stretched from one wall to the other, with several mattresses squeezed together to support the midfielder's considerable frame.

Diaby smiled and headed briskly across the ward. The floor shook with each step, his long legs striding clumsily across the aisle and crashing into various medical instruments.

"Abou, be careful -" O'Driscoll called, running after him. With a remarkable dexterity that could only have come from nearly a year of working with Abou Diaby, Nicklas Bendtner and Philippe Senderos, he darted back and forth across the aisle, catching various objects as they fell.

Having returned them to their original places, and steadied a pile of paperwork emblazoned with the Athletico Madrid letterhead at the end of Fran Merida's bed, O'Driscoll wiped his forehead and breathed a sigh of relief.

"Abou, NO!"

The midfielder had caught his foot on the wires connecting Johan Djourou to his life support machine, ripping them out of their sockets. He was now dragging the defender's lifeless body in his wake.

"Stop, Abou!" O'Driscoll called, hurrying after the monstrous Frenchman. Completely ignored, he seized a clipboard and threw it in the manner of a frisbee at the midfielder's back. It clattered noisily against him, in what looked like an extremely painful blow - but Diaby carried on, completely unaware. Djourou was now bouncing back and forth across the aisle, his head smashing into bedposts and his limbs becoming entangled in the wires attached to Diaby's foot.

"Gary, try this!" Kieran Gibbs shouted as he threw a football to the doctor.

O'Driscoll was puzzled. "How is this going to help?!"

"His head!" the entire ward screamed.

The doctor could have kicked himself for forgetting. Diaby had a phobia of headers - the entire league knew it. "Here Bakary, aim for his head!" He rolled the ball towards the full-back and leapt out of the way. "Just cross it!"

Sagna puffed out his cheeks, took a short run-up and, glancing at Diaby's head to take aim, connected with the ball.

It was wildly off target. Smashing into the ceiling and showering the ward with shards of mineral fibre, the ball ricocheted off the walls and wreaked havoc amongst the beds. Robin van Persie's liquid dinner splattered the walls, Fran Merida's contract offers span across the room, and Kieran Gibbs' box of Disney plasters tumbled to the floor.

But, miraculously, it reached the end of the ward and bounced back towards Diaby. Panic in his eyes, the giant Frenchman covered his head with his hands and dived to the floor, his foot coming loose of the cables. He threw himself under his colossal bed and peeked out, waiting for the aerial threat to subside before he re-emerged.

O'Driscoll dragged Djourou's comatosed body back to his bed, and deftly re-attached the defender to his life support machine. Stepping back to check that his heartbeat was regular, and that his body had suffered no further damage during Diaby's rampage, he turned to face Sagna.

"Bakary, that was awful! Why does Arsene keep -"

He was interrupted by the sound of slow clapping from the doorway. The whole ward turned to see their manager enter the room, smiling from ear to ear.

"Excellente, Bakary."

O'Driscoll stepped forward. "Arsene, we just had a minor incident concerning Johan, but he seems fine. It shouldn't affect his recovery."

Wenger was perplexed. "Johan?"

"Johan Djourou? The centre-back? He should still be fit for next season."

Wenger's eyes bulged, as Sol Campbell and Chris Smalling entered the room.

"Boss, are you going to show us the rest of the complex?" Campbell enquired.

Wenger paused. "Sol... what did you say it was that went wrong at Notts County?"

A peculiar Arsenal team will hobble up to the Britannia Stadium tomorrow

2010-01-23T13:43:00.005Z

We'll be travelling north tomorrow with a squad about as weakened as Owen Coyle's case against Gallas when he remembered that Jack Wilshere is available on loan, and Stoke are no pushovers. It will be a tricky one, but a win would give the team another confidence boost heading into a vital (and congested) series of fixtures.

Sagna, Gibbs, Djourou, Diaby, Ramsey, Merida, Nasri, Bendtner, and van Persie are all out (as well as Song and Eboue at the ACN), giving us little choice but to field a few Carling Cup players. Right-back will be the most interesting position, with Coquelin and Eastmond in contention for Sagna's place. Considering Wenger's comments earlier in the season about Eastmond's pace, or lack thereof, I would expect Coquelin to fill in at the back and Eastmond to return to his holding role.

Walcott should be ready to zip about the right-flank for at least a few minutes, until he stops looking where he's going and crashes into one of Stoke's various defensive bollards. Tears streaming down his cheeks, he will point despairingly at the graze on his knee; Colin Lewin and the entire team of physios will dash onto the pitch, and after several minutes of poking and prodding, will come to the inevitable conclusion that the young winger has picked up a chronic boo-boo and will be out for several weeks.

New old boy Sol Campbell should make his debut, and a fixture against Stoke is probably ideal for his return to proper football. Portsmouth fans are still scratching their heads over Wenger's decision to re-sign him, the general consensus at Fratton Park being that, towards the end of his last season on the south coast, they would have been better off starting each match with ten men and a grand oak table strategically placed on the 18 yard line. But Campbell reckons his fitness is better now than when he left in the summer of 2006 at the more Premier Leaguey age of 31, and evidently Wenger concurs. After six months of solid, world-class training at London Colney, he should be in much better shape than he was during his Notts County day(s), where a reliable source informs me that his fitness sessions were conducted by an old man and his decrepit border collie.

I'm still unsure about whether we should be giving poor old Senderos the boot. It would appear that he's got confused on his way out and is now pawing anxiously at the door to a broom cupboard, but the official Arsenal website reckons he's finally sorted out a loan switch to Everton. It will be a shame if he eventually leaves at the end of his contract; but in the meantime, Campbell's experience and influence could be vital both in the dressing room and in our headless-chicken-infested final third, and I look forward to seeing how he does.

My predicted line-up:

Fabianski
Coquelin
Clichy
Campbell
Vermaelen
Eastmond
Denilson
Rosicky
Walcott
Vela
Eduardo

A fairly balanced team age-wise, with experience in all the right areas.

I can see Gallas, Fabregas and Arshavin all being left out, which might be a necessary risk. So far this season, Gallas has shaken off more injuries than an improbably macho Hollywood character, while Arshavin has also carried on playing with the odd knock. Although we won't want another nervy tie after our come-back at West Ham, Wenger knows he can't use them in all of the next five games, so a tiny bit of rotation in this and the Villa game might be needed.

So our bench will depend on who Wenger wants to rest until necessary, and who he wants to leave out altogether. Silvestre will, most likely, be our back-up in central defence, and JET might finally get a run-out. Traore will be available to 'help out' either at left-back or on the left-wing if needed, and Wilshere will almost certainly be in the squad. With Mannone acting as back-up goalkeeper, this leaves two places.

Rumour has it that Gilles Sunu, a real physical presence up front, might be in the squad, in addition to what would be a rather redundant fourth centre-back, Kyle Bartley. However, unless Wenger wants to throw away the chance of winning an already Liverpool- and United-less FA Cup, Fabregas and Arshavin should be ready to come on if needed.

Here's hoping for a few Cupsets today and a good, non-heart-attack-inducing win at the Britannia tomorrow.

Arsenal find the missing ingredient at last

2010-01-21T19:09:00.001Z

This time last year, Arsenal were about to set off on a disastrous series of results in the league. Between January 17th and March 3rd, they couldn't have bought a win if a corrupt Russian oligarch had bought the club, settled all of its debts, and ordered the mass 'disappearance' of the rest of the Premier League's leading players. Champions League qualification looked increasingly unrealistic, and even West Brom, fighting in vain against inevitable relegation, would have been livid with some of these results.

1-1 at Everton in the league, after van Persie's last minute equaliser.
0-0 at home to West Ham.
0-0 at Spurs.
0-0 at home to Sunderland.
0-0 at home to Fulham.

And then we beat West Brom. In the next fixture, an Andrei-Arshavin-inspired 4-0 home win against Sizeable Sam's blundering Blackburn would secure our first home league win in 63 days and trigger a late surge of wins that would eventually secure fourth place. However, our Russian-less Champions League and FA Cup campaigns (why?!) would ultimately self-destruct and bring about another trophyless anti-climax.

A year later, things are looking pretty good. In nine league games since our surreal home defeat to Chelsea, we've picked up 23 out of a possible 27 points, which is a great run of form compared to Chelsea's 12 out of 21 and Man United's 16 out of 24. Chelsea have an away game in hand to leapfrog their way back to the top, but we have scored more goals than anyone in the competition, have the joint best goal difference, and - the most un-Arsenal-like of all - have the best away record out of all 20 teams. We have a long way to go, and we still have to play the other big clubs again, but this is a massive improvement on last season.

Last night was further testament to a new, resilient mindset within the Arsenal squad. With more experience in the team (the average age of the starting line-up was 26, and several of these players have birthdays in the next few weeks), they showed the bite and determination that we saw at the Reebok, and proved that they have finally developed the mentality to challenge for a title.

Of course, the match didn't start well. Back from injury in place of the less-than-impressive Traore, Clichy ensured it was a smooth, unnoticeable transition - by getting himself in trouble, attempting to make some sort of vertical clearance, and leaving the rest of his defence with little chance of stopping Bolton's first goal. Denilson didn't really help matters by getting into the Bolton swing of things in his own penalty area and seemingly trying to take possession of Lee's foot instead of the ball. Almunia, who had previously made an outstanding save from a free-kick, very nearly kept out the penalty, but nevertheless we found ourselves two goals down when our target going into the game was, at the very least, the reverse scoreline.

With two minutes left of the first half, Rosicky put away a great curling shot from just inside the area to give us the boost we needed going in for the break; although in fairness, to say that Jaaskelainen was ball-watching would have been an understatement.

I will admit that Gallas' challenge on Mark Davies in the buildup to our equaliser was about as easy on the eye as Carlos Tevez flossing, and reports that the Bolton midfielder left the stadium on crutches made it pretty clear that the incident shouldn't have escaped the referee's notice. However, I agree with Wenger's defence of his players - watching the replay, you can see that no one in the Bolton third has any idea what happened behind them, and they could only play on. No one can accuse Wenger of hypocrisy, considering that he told Denilson only ten days ago that he should have handled the ball when he collapsed, as Everton were under no obligation to stop play.

Anyway, Fabregas finished the move very well, although he had a bit of luck along the way from a couple of deflected passes. Most of all, we can thank the proficiency of the three Bolton defenders following hopelessly in the Spaniard's wake like a flustered Laporta waddling after him with his trousers round his ankles.

I re-watched the third goal about forty times. When Vermaelen makes the initial header and re-enters the atmosphere from that obscenely high jump of his, he loses sight of the ball; disoriented and confused, he spins around with fury in his eyes, only for the ball to bounce back into ample space for him to put away a cracker of a shot. The slow motion replay demands to be accompanied by the well-known circus tune, 'Entry of the Gladiators'.

The final goal confirmed a recent suspicion of mine - that Arshavin and Eduardo have forged something of an understanding on the pitch, which after a few more games together could become borderline telepathic. Again, a Bolton defender played the key ball, but the rapid exchange of passes between the Russian and the Crozilian was a sight to behold, and I hope to see more of that in the big fixtures coming up.

Last night made it six wins in our last seven matches, and it remains to be seen how the rest of the transfer window pans out for us. Wenger should take into account that most of these matches came against lesser opponents than those who we will face over the next three weeks, but I get the feeling that he's not going to find his ideal, godlike, yet easily affordable striker with low wage demands and eligibility for European competition.

At the moment, however, Wenger's transfer activity over the summer is looking like pure genius: out with the lazy, laughable, lanky lout of a striker, out with the centre-back who, to the detriment of our defensive record, literally wouldn't go within 50 yards of his partner; and in with a bargain world-class defender (with a better eye for goal than said striker) plus a hefty £30 million profit.

One shored up back-line, one tactical re-shuffle, and one restored dressing room atmosphere later, and we're still challenging for honours as we approach the critical part of our league fixture list.

Liars, Inquiries, Rumours and Expiries

2010-01-20T16:40:00.001Z

Firstly, hats off to the Bolton fans who visited this site in the last 24 hours, most of whom were good sports about the last article and took it all in good stride. I'm a fan of Owen Coyle, and after a great response from the Bolton lot, I wish them good luck - only after tonight, of course, as I have a bit of a soft spot for the home team.

As for recent news, Samuel Galindo has been accused of lying about his age, after a Bolivian TV channel published an image of what they claim is his real passport. Apparently, what we thought to be a 17-year-old wonder-kid is in fact a 20-year-old wonder-post-pubescent, so we can all look forward to those sharp-witted Spurs fans singing 'Same old Arsenal' at the wrong ground tonight. In any case, it makes you wonder just how many players have had their birthdays edited for the sake of their careers.

Coming soon, perhaps, a Daily Telegraph inquiry into the real ages of Arjen Robben, Pepe Reina, and Joleon Lescott - but not Wayne Rooney. Commentators and TV pundits would insist that 45-year-old former factory worker Rooney was simply lying about his age because of his tenacity and desire to win, just like when he bravely throws himself face-first onto the ground when a lesser player would avoid that opposition player ten yards away from him.

Not much has changed in terms of team news. Fran Merida is out, but Denilson is back from injury, and I expect he'll be thrown straight back into the starting line-up. It's a relief to see it wasn't a bad one, and hopefully from now on he'll maintain the level of fitness that saw him through the entirety of last season. Having said that, it's a shame that we might not get another chance to see what Craig Eastmond can do tonight, more so that Jay Emmanuel-Thomas will probably stay on the bench again. This could have been an ideal opportunity to give the midfield youngsters a run out, provided that we were in a comfortable position towards the end of the game. Judging from last Sunday, however, it might not be so easy.

Coyle almost certainly hasn't had enough time to impose his style on the Bolton team, but they'll all have the motivation they need with places to fight for. Kevin Davies has always been a tricky one, while Tamir Cohen is a good prospect and Matt Taylor looked quite dangerous on Sunday when he wasn't playing his ambitious variation of Crossbar Challenge with the Reebok Stadium framework. Fabrice Muamba may be given the holding role if Coyle goes for a 4-5-1, as some of the papers would have you believe, and I think he could do a job screening the defence. But I think Coyle would be more likely to stick to a 4-4-2, if he hasn't learned to rein in his adventurous gameplan when playing away from home, considering Burnley's disastrous away form.

Lastly, a spot of transfer news. Rumours that we're on the verge of signing Fulham's 14-foot-tall defender Chris Smalling have been flowing faster than a 3 litre box of red wine down Sir Alex's esophagus, and almost every media outlet seems to be carrying the story. Knowing Wenger, it's unlikely that he would sign three centre-backs in one season, but if the reports turn out to be true then I'm glad we're giving the future of our defence more consideration. I've watched him play a few times and thought he looked dependable and composed both on and off the ball, but my knowledge of him is somewhat lacking. If anyone knows any more about him, let us know.

Celtic have played down talk that they'll be signing Senderos on loan, which came as a surprise to me. Asked about the progress in talks with the centre-back, Mowbray came out with a line you'll all be familiar with - "We have an interest in many players, I would suggest. For whatever reason, that came out today but that is only one enquiry of many that we have asked about." He might have managed a world-class defence during his time at West Brom, but Senderos would be a great signing for Celtic and I'd expect a bit more enthusiasm. Anyway, Senderos has 11 days to decide what to do, and if he's definitely leaving us before next season, this is our only chance to get some money for him. Unless Wenger wants him to run down his contract on loan at another club before leaving on a free, he had better get to work on one of those £3-million-plus-every-penny-any-other-club-makes-off-him-ever deals that have served us so well recently.

That's it for this afternoon, hopefully by my return we'll be sitting at the top of the pile!

Bolton's bizarre plan to stop Arsenal

Owen Coyle and the Bolton players in 'The Passing Game'

2010-01-19T18:42:00.004Z

(Sketch)

"Okay boys, listen up," Owen Coyle shouted, jogging out onto the Bolton training pitch with a ball at his feet. He was the embodiment of optimism after his side's spirited performance against Arsenal, his demeanour at odds with the bleak mists enshrouding the complex. His eyes twinkled lightly like the morning dew through which he happily cantered, and his relaxed smile exuded an aura of positive calm.

Spotting the ball, a wild-eyed Zat Knight sprinted headlong into his manager, rugby-tackled him to the ground and attempted to strangle him. Matt Taylor stood over Coyle, tugging at his hair and preparing to kick him in the head.

The Bolton manager gagged, and with all the energy he could muster gestured feebly for help from his coaches.

"No, Matty!" Sandy Stewart bellowed, clapping his hands and whistling. "Zat, get off him!" The two players scampered out of the assistant's way as he lifted Coyle to his feet.

"Right, this is what I came over to talk to you all about," the manager yelled as he dusted himself off. "If we're going to really cope with Arsenal on Wednesday, we're going to have to change our strategy."

Kevin Davies was perplexed. "Strategy?"

"Yes, strategy," Coyle responded, forcing himself to shake off the assault and return to his previous light-hearted manner. "You know, a plan of how to approach the game. Tactics."

Davies looked enquiringly at Gavin McCann, who simply responded with a frown and a shrug.

Coyle took in the reaction of the Bolton squad; it was less than promising. Sam Ricketts was gawping absent-mindedly back at him, Andy O'Brien was scratching his head, and Paul Robinson was holding a worm and poking at it inquisitively.

"No one has heard of strategy? Tactics? Plans for how to compete in midfield, use the space, get through the opposition's backline, that kind of thing?"

There was silence.

Fabrice Muamba stepped forward and shyly raised a hand. "Mr Coyle, I think I know what you mean. Back in my Arsenal days, they taught us to pass it to one another and try to keep possession."

"Good, very good," Coyle replied, visibly relieved. "This is what I taught my Burnley team to do, and now I want to make Bolton do the same. We have to try and get ahold of the ball for as long as possible."

"What, like this, boss?"

Coyle turned to see Paul Robinson holding a ball.

"What? No, Paul, I mean you have to try and pass it to each other -"

"Oh." Robinson walked over to Zat Knight and placed the ball in his team-mate's hands. He turned back to Coyle and smiled.

His manager was less than impressed. "For God's sake. Right. Paul, Andy and Gretar, come over here. I want to go through a practice exercise."

Robinson, O'Brien and Steinsson came forward and stood in a row in front of Coyle, gathering as close together as possible and holding their hands over their groins.

"What are you all doing?" Coyle enquired, baffled by their response. He clapped his hands and gestured for them to separate. "Don't bunch up, spread out! We can't do this exercise if you're all standing next to each other."

The players each took a few steps apart, exchanging worried glances.

Andy O'Brien raised a hand. "Boss, how are we supposed to defend set-pieces if we spread out?"

Exasperated, the Bolton manager held his head in his hands. Struggling to maintain a positive outlook, he took a deep breath and looked up at O'Brien. "Andy, we're practicing something different now. You don't spend most of a football match defending set-pieces!"

"Well, Bolton do," O'Brien responded.

Coyle glared incredulously at the defender, but held his tongue and composed himself. "Okay, well not any more. We're going to work on our passing. That way, we can try and play Arsenal at their own game, and then exploit the gaps they leave when they push forward. So we'll start with a simple passing exercise." He rolled a ball to Robinson.

Panicking, Robinson hoofed the ball with all his might, sending it to the other side of the training complex.

"Paul, what the hell are you doing?!"

Robinson was doubled over, clutching his chest and catching his breath. After taking a moment to recover from the fright of having the ball at his feet, he slowly stood up and shrugged his shoulders. "If we get the ball from a set-piece, we pass it up to the striker," he wheezed.

"That's not a pass, it's a clearance!"

"But -"

"No, there is a massive difference between a pass and a clearance, they are two very different things. Watch me." Coyle placed the ball at his feet, and played a simple pass to Gretar Steinsson.

Venom in his eyes, Steinsson repeatedly stamped on the ball, eventually puncturing it with his studs.

"Okay, fine," Coyle sighed. "Never mind, everyone. Just keep doing what you did to Fran Merida, we might come away with a point."

(Here's hoping any Bolton fans who read this can take a joke... See you at the Emirates!)

An un-Arsenal-like victory and some un-van-Persie-like news

2010-01-18T14:36:00.001Z

Afternoon everyone - not a bad weekend for us. Sunderland may have made the mother of all half-arsed attempts at Stamford Bridge and United might have laboured to a flattering scoreline against Burnley, but Villa and Spurs each dropped two easy points. Throw in Man City's reality check at Everton (good stuff, Robinho) and we're in a good position going into Wednesday's home game against yesterday's opponents.

We picked up a deserved three points at Bolton, although we had a little bit of fortune along the way. Kevin Davies panicked having been played clear through on goal (a rarity this season, it would seem - apparently our offside trap has caught more opponents than any other team in the league so far), choosing to forego a striker's dream of a one-on-one situation with an Arsenal goalkeeper and instead have a go from well outside the area. Ivan Klasnic dinked Gallas and pulled off a turn that even Dennis Bergkamp might have been proud of, only to run face first into the ball and fall over stretching to finish.

This was the kind of game in which a frontline boasting the average height of a Lego set wouldn't usually manage, but Rosicky and Eduardo carved out some lovely passes with the help of Cesc to bemuse the behemoths of Bolton. Having been opened more times in fifteen minutes than Tom Huddlestone's snack box, the enraged Bolton defence resorted to their usual tactics. Almost like a scene from an American high school movie, three or four of them were shoving Diaby amongst themselves, and despite his size the midfielder simply whimpered and timidly clutched his books to his chest. One took his glasses, another shoved him to the ground; and as he hurriedly gathered his folders together, another kicked him in the rear. They played catch with his calculator for a short while until little Rosicky came to the rescue and bundled one of them over - picking up a yellow in the process. On the whole the ref had a good game, and I suppose he was just trying to keep things calm in the early stages, but Rosicky was hardly the only one who deserved to be punished.

Fabregas also fell victim to Bolton's smart and intricate game plan. With the Spaniard lying prostrate on the ground, Matt Taylor and Zat Knight bundled onto him, determined to exact their revenge for Cesc's response to their clumsy tackling, which was to fall over rather than handle it the Bolton way (turn around and swing a right hook, presumably). Taylor knocked his shin against Cesc's skull several times, and I'm glad that he of all the Bolton players missed as many golden chances as an in-form Adebayor. It would appear as though Owen Coyle has some work to do teaching a few rugby rejects in his squad how to play their way clear of relegation...

As for our own performance, Fabregas was vital as ever, putting on a passing masterclass. He took his goal superbly and was unlucky not to turn provider for Eduardo, placing slightly too much weight on his throughball. He was man of the match by a country mile, and here's hoping that he won't pick up any more injuries this season.

Eduardo set up both goals, with the pick of the two being his lightning-quick one-two with Fabregas. In ten league starts, he's notched three goals and five assists, which isn't all that bad considering he's regularly been deployed on the left of the front three so far. It doesn't compare too badly with Arshavin's six goals and one assist in seventeen starts, particularly as the Russian has often played in the central position lately. He might not be setting the world alight at the moment, but Eduardo's doing the job.

In fact, last night was further evidence that the responsibility for scoring goals isn't at all limited to the forwards. So far in the league, the midfield has scored 23 times, while the forwards have contributed 22 goals. Even the defence has done well, with seven of their own. Admittedly, ten of the midfielders' goals have come from Fabregas, but the forwards have, so far, adapted well without van Persie, who scored eight times before going to a better place.

Arshavin wasn't quite at his best, and seemed absent from all of our key opportunities, but I suppose it was mostly down to fatigue - after all, he has started more league games than any of our other forwards (six more than the next forward, RVP, and seven more than the next living forward, Eduardo). He worked hard early on, but it was clear he was getting tired and maybe should have been taken off instead of Eduardo. I hope and expect that Wenger will put him on the bench for Wednesday's match, because we will need him in his best shape for the Big Four matches in a couple of weeks.

After some very dodgy performances over the last few games, Almunia did well yesterday. He saved and held a sneaking shot from Lee despite his view being obscured, and he showed good reflexes to prevent a Gallas own goal when he was already preparing to close down a shot from the cross. The one real drawback was again his communication, which saw him crash into Sagna without any prior warning and pluck the ball from his head. But on the whole, he had a good game.

Traore, on the other hand, simply couldn't cope, and it was clear that Bolton were targetting him down their right flank. His positioning wasn't great, his heading wasn't good, and his tackling wasn't even average. He simply wouldn't commit to a challenge, and spent a shocking amount of time walking along the touchline even when Bolton were crafting goalscoring opportunities from his part of the pitch. He's done well in a couple of games over the last few weeks, but he was disappointing last night and I think Clichy's come back just in time.

With the exception of Traore, the defence did well. Sagna did what he was meant to do with a solid performance, with less of the bombing forward and less crossing to the International Space Station. Gallas and Vermaelen were at their most dependable, without any real errors, and although Bolton probably deserved a goal, we can be happy to have picked up our first away clean sheet since Fulham in October. That makes seven clean sheets in 21 league games, which is still short of United's nine in 22 and Chelsea's ten in 21, but an improvement nonetheless.

Eastmond played fairly well, turning in a bustling first-half performance. He's Wenger's sort of defensive midfielder - composed, energetic, neat in the tackle, and a tidy, simple passer. He played a part in the first goal, and was unlucky not to score with a cracking low volley which Jaaskelainen managed to spot through Arshavin's legs. His stamina is still lacking, but this is to be expected at his age, and Wenger subbed him when his passing turned sloppy. Merida replaced him and scored a great goal, reacting well to a deflection on Eduardo's cross, controlling it brilliantly and placing his finish just inside the post.

There's not much going on today, with Wenger (apparently) no closer to finding that evasive world-class striker. He did say, however, that van Persie looks set to be back around mid-April, which should give the players another boost before a tricky patch in the fixture list. Ramsey and Nasri are each out for three weeks, so we should see more of Merida and Eastmond on Wednesday.

Robin has another little accident

Arsene Wenger and Denilson in 'Injury Ward'

2010-01-16T20:54:00.006Z

(Fictional Short)

"Please listen to me, Arsene," Colin Lewin pleaded, pressing himself against the door to the injury ward and trying to block the irate Frenchman from reaching the doorhandle. "He isn't right. This isn't just some sprain he can run off, you saw the way he collapsed! In fifteen years as a physio I've never seen anything like it!"

"I'm going to say this one more time, Colin," Wenger responded calmly, towering over the trembling head physio. "Let me see him."

Realising there was no way of deterring his manager, Lewin sighed and stepped out of his way. "Okay Arsene, but please be careful."

Ignoring the physio, Wenger threw the door open and stormed into the ward.

On either side of him, a seemingly endless row of beds stretched off into the distance. Almost all of them were full, and there was a deeply depressing feel to the place - all around him, players were coughing, sneezing and groaning. Nicklas Bendtner was being spoon-fed a bowl of soup by Gary O'Driscoll, Robin van Persie was feebly lowering a full bed pan to the floor, and Johan Djourou was laying eerily still as his heart monitor beeped monotonously next to his bed. Theo Walcott had just been re-admitted with a sore finger, while Jack Wilshere was wincing as Neal Reynolds prepared to remove a plaster on his knee.

Wenger carried on down the aisle, observing his players from a safe distance and holding a handkerchief over his nose to ward off the smell.

"Boss?"

Wenger turned around. Aaron Ramsey was sitting upright opposite an agitated Philippe Senderos, whose foot had been set in a thick cast. The Swiss was picking inquisitively at the bandaging and emitting a distressed whine.

"I don't think he likes the cast, boss," Ramsey said. "In fact, it doesn't look like there's really anything wrong with his foot."

"Silence, Aaron!" Wenger snapped. "Philippe has an inflamed foot, that's why he hasn't been able to play for the last couple of months!"

Ramsey was perplexed. "But he seemed okay in training yesterday? In fact, until Sol signed -"

"That's enough, Aaron! Philippe has an inflamed foot, and he cannot play!"

Wenger turned on his heel and continued towards the end of the row; Senderos seized a container of pills and petulantly threw it in the direction of his manager, only to mistime his throw and give Theo Walcott a bruised shin, sidelining him for another week.

Wenger came to a stop at the end of Denilson's bed. "Afternoon, Denilson. How are you feeling today?"

The young Brazilian had been secured to the bed with several layers of binding; his face was a peculiar greenish hue, and his pupils were heavily constricted. As soon as Wenger spoke, he began to thrash about, glaring menacingly at the Frenchman and blathering in tongues.

"Well, you look fine to me," Wenger responded. "You know there's no one else who can fill in while Song's away. Get up."

The bed shook violently and rose half a foot clear of the ground, tipping Denilson's bedside table over and shattering a glass of water across the floor. Player, mattress and all were now levitating, and the Brazilian's head was spinning wildly as he spouted obscenities at his manager.

Wenger rolled his eyes. "Stop wasting my time. Get up and join the others in training."

The bed dropped to the floor with a resounding thud. Denilson cricked his neck and fixed his yellow eyes upon the manager. "Your mother sucks -"

"Okay, I think Denilson needs his rest," Gary O'Driscoll asserted, drawing a curtain around the player's bed and setting a timer on his watch. "I'm sorry Arsene, but he's just not ready to play tomorrow."

"Fine," Wenger sighed. "But you'd better figure out what's wrong with him. If there's one way I won't be beaten, it's by possession."

(buh dum...)

Ex-Arsenal players and a desperate journalist in 'The Odds'

2010-01-15T19:17:00.002Z

(Only partly fictional)

Journalists stared hopelessly at blank screens. All around the room, heads were slumped over keyboards and fingers were drumming on desks as they racked their brains for something, anything, that a football fan would be the slightest bit interested in reading.

There had been a solemn mood around the offices of The Daily Outright Lie since the start of the transfer window. None of the clubs had any money to spend, most of the big names seemed happy where they were, and there were no controversies to exacerbate. Liverpool couldn't even afford the compensation to sack their own manager.

The newspaper's generic sleazy ex-footballer with gambling debts to pay off had been rambling in his weekly column about how in the old days they would play in ten feet of snow, and the piece had been met with complete apathy by the readers. The phone in reception had stopped ringing entirely; neither club nor player had any agenda to push in the next day's back pages. Even Joan Laporta had stopped calling, heightening the tabloid's fears that his greedy fingers may have finally become too fat to dial.

Sales were down, and the Page 3 staff were working overtime with five more pages to fill.

Their deadlines fast approaching, the atmosphere amongst the journalists was becoming more and more tense. One was pacing the floor, wringing his hands and mumbling something about a rearranged fixture shock. Another leant against the window and loosened his tie as he dreamt up FA punishments for Manchester United's mounting debt, but even he found the very notion preposterous. By the coffee machine, two writers were exchanging rumours of staff cuts within the sports department with hushed voices.

Suddenly, there was an audible gasp from a cubicle in the corner of the room. While trawling the news tickers for a blog post to copy, an intern had read a bizarre article about PaddyPower.

His fellow writers swarmed around his desk. Some hurried to see what he had found out of sheer curiosity; most came with their notepads, their pens hovering aloft like daggers over his back. Craning their necks, pushing and shoving one another, they all struggled to see what the fuss was about.

And then they saw it: the bookmakers had determined the odds for which former Arsenal player would be next to re-join the club.

Their jaws dropped in astonishment, and their pens clattered to the floor. The betting correspondent gathered himself together and began to frantically scribble the odds down, but it was too late - the young intern had sent the article to the printer, and was now squeezing through the entranced crowd to retrieve his work.

His colleagues followed in a daze as he marched to the sports editor's office and rapped confidently on his door.

"Come in?"

He entered the office and firmly closed the door, leaving the writers outside to scrabble amongst themselves for a peek underneath the shutters.

"I have an article for tomorrow," the intern informed his disbelieving editor, handing him the print-out.

Unable to contain his excitement, the editor took out his glasses and held the sheet in front of him. His eyes flicked back and forth over the text as the young intern smiled and waited patiently.

Having digested the background information about Sol Campbell's return, read mentions of Arsenal's apparent lack of depth in defensive midfield and up front, and quickly scanned stories about former Gunners saying they missed the club, he reached the odds given by the bookmakers.

Mathieu Flamini – 5/6
Thierry Henry – 3/1
Aleksander Hleb – 9/2
Jose Antonio Reyes – 10/1
Edu – 16/1
Gilberto – 20/1
Robert Pires – 25/1

Removing his glasses, the editor lowered the page and looked up at the intern.

"Have your desk cleared by tomorrow morning."

Is a player committing career suicide if he leaves Arsenal?

2010-01-14T20:37:00.005Z

The advice yesterday concerning my homicidal boiler was much appreciated; I'd like to say I've tried everything, but 'everything' would amount to cluelessly jiggling the switch and then eating a sandwich while my housemate tried to fix it. It tried this little trick last winter, and a series of engineers fought through the resulting webs of snot and phlegm amassing in our kitchen only to spend several hours scratching their heads before offering little but a bashful smile and a shrug. It was eventually sorted out when the moustachioed doughballs masquerading as professionals gave way to someone with a clue, who should be coming to the rescue again tomorrow.

Personally, I have about as much awareness of these things as Maxi Rodriguez presumably has of the situation he's just gotten himself into, and my boiler policy essentially amounts to blue light good, no light bad; low humming noise good, no noise bad; 1.5 bar of pressure good, sustained leaking followed by explosion bad.

So my next distraction, as I sit at my desk wearing as many layers as Carlos Vela and Fran Merida huddled under their blanket on the subs' bench, was the thought that players who have left Arsenal prematurely seem to have failed at their next clubs. There are the obvious exceptions, of course, but a good number of careers have been hit harder than a lamp-post in the way of Jermaine Pennant's zig-zagging Mercedes.

Take, for instance, Aliaksandr Hleb, who ran off to Barcelona after one impressive season at Arsenal, only to see his reputation wither away within twelve months. He made only eight starts in the league and four in his team's run to Champions League victory, making more appearances as a substitute. Of course, he started five Copa del Rey matches, but that doesn't tend to be a good thing in Spain's sole cup competiton, which is apparently regarded as something of a Carling-FA Cup hybrid. Despite the run-outs against weaker teams, the attacking midfielder managed only 0 goals and 3 assists in 32 appearances for Barca. His loan at Stuttgart hasn't gone all that well either - 0 goals and 0 assists in 20 matches. It would appear that one of the greatest dribblers we've had at this club is still evacuating his bowels as soon as he gets anywhere near a goal, instead choosing to pass backwards as if each match were a training ground box exercise.

Jose Antonio Reyes was something of a troublemaker during his three-and-a-half year stint at the club. He was constantly linked with a move to Real Madrid, and on several occasions seemingly did his best to perpetuate the rumours. Those who remember the infamous prank-call Reyes fell for in 2005, made by a Spanish radio station host posing as the Real director of football, will recall that he seemed rather eager for a transfer. In 06/07, the forward had a fairly average year on loan at Real, until he scored the two goals that won them the league title in the final game of the season. He didn't get his permanent contract, and was sold to Athletic Madrid for a carcrash of a season - 0 goals in 29 appearances. He spent last season on loan at Benfica, where he found some decent form, scoring and setting up a handful of goals. Having returned to Athletic Madrid for the season, he has improved slightly, and last week scored his first goal in Spain for over three and a half years. With Maxi Rodriguez gone, he might have his chance in the next few months.

Speaking of Real Madrid, Lassana Diarra has done well in Spain, to the extent that some are already labelling him 'the new Makelele'. But having left us after 10 games (four months) because he couldn't budge Flamini from the starting line-up hardly warrants him recognition as a former Gunner. As bitter as that sounds - he could have made Flamini's departure a hell of a lot easier on us at the start of 08/09 - I think most would agree it's fair to say he was something of a footnote in Arsenal's history.

Edu left on a Bosman in the summer of 2005, having failed to agree a new contract at Arsenal. He had become a popular figure amongst the fans, playing an important role in the 03-04 Invincibles season, but the England-international-that-never-was headed for Valencia, turning down the likes of Inter and Barcelona. However, he suffered an injury in pre-season which kept him out for almost a year, and he never recaptured his best Arsenal form. In four years at Valencia, he only made 50 appearances, and was released last summer. In August, his career was laid to rest in the Brazilian footballers' burial ground: Brazil.

Our good friend Ashley Cole is doing well at Chelsea, having finally recaptured his form after a relatively shaky start. He had a couple of dodgy moments for England (most notably somehow gifting Kazakhstan a goal in a World Cup qualifier last season) but as much as it pains me to say, he's back to his best at the moment. The good news is that, in exchange, we got a wad of cash and a world-class centre-back who is arguably the best in the Premiership at the moment - not to mention simply replacing him with a younger carbon copy, whose current understudy is already being compared to Mr. Faithful himself in ability. I'll admit it, Chelsea can be happy with their signing, but I'm sure he'll catch a whiff of the oil money in Manchester one day.

David Bentley, on the other hand, might look back on one particular decision with regret. He showed us glimpses of his potential in a handful of appearances, the standout moment definitely being his lob of Mark Schwarzer in the FA Cup, before somehow managing to put in a good season on loan as part of Norwich's ill-fated return to the Premiership. In 2005 he handed in a transfer request, citing personal reasons - apparently, he'd been playing as fast and loose with his earnings as his current manager's accounting. Anyway, he went to Blackburn on what was intended as a season's loan, winning himself a permanent move in the January window, and had three outstanding years at Ewood Park. By the summer of 2008, he had scored 19 goals and bagged 26 assists for Blackburn, earned 7 England caps, and had been compared to David Beckham... so he went to Tottenham. Eighteen months later, I'm sure he expected more than 21 league starts, although I'd expect that Spurs wanted more than a Carling Cup star for £15 million. I doubt he will still "feel like Superman" now, but he certainly can't "fly home"...

I feel a bit guilty mentioning Adebayor in light of what he's going through at the moment, and I'm sure I'm not alone in saying my thoughts are with the Togo team. In any case, the jury's still out on him. He enjoyed a blistering start to his Man City career, scoring in all of his first four matches - although it hasn't escaped my attention that the first three came against Blackburn, Wolves and Portsmouth - but since his three-match ban for nearly popping van Persie's eye-ball with his studs in that infamous encounter at Eastlands, his form has plummeted. His only two goals since then came against Chelsea (after he scored an own goal) and, of course, the unstoppable Liverpool, making it six in 15 starts. A decent haul, although it remains to be seen how he comes back from his leave of absence.

Similarly, it's too early to tell how Kolo Toure will do at Eastlands. He was given the captain's armband straight away, and has arguably been their most important defender this season, although I have seen some grumbling amongst City fans about his selection for the role. Man City have conceded more goals than any other team in the top half of the table this season, despite having one of the best goalkeepers in the country; indeed, Given's consistency and reflexes have been called upon on a number of occasions so far, and his defence must surely be held accountable. Admittedly, some would point to the faltering form of Joleon Lescott prior to his injury, especially as Toure himself seems to have settled in fairly well. I'd be interested to see what City fans make of him.

Alongside Ashley Cole, Thierry Henry was the other real exception. Had he been less patient, he might have left Barcelona after one year; he famously told the BBC in April 2008 that he missed Arsenal and life "back home" in London, and that he was dissatisfied with the transfer, which was probably in no small part down to his constant deployment on the left wing. However, he finished that year as the club's top scorer, and surpassed both his goal and assist tallies the following season; as well as this, he achieved his target of winning the Champions League, and eventually won everything going in 2009. He's been incredibly successful, yet although Wenger wanted to keep him for the 07/08 season, Arsenal appear to have benefited from his sale. His presence in the dressing room might have helped the following season, but there was no way of knowing whether his injury problems would abate - besides, Arsenal's 07/08 campaign was a significant improvement on the previous one. Of course, £16 million wasn't ideal compared to the offers we received from the same club 12 months previously, which were estimated at more than three times that amount. But it was considerably more than we paid for him - and considering he was three weeks away from his 30th birthday, it was still a huge amount of money for Barcelona to spend on a player of his age.

Lastly, the other of the two who left Arsenal's unstoppable 07/08 midfield was Mathieu Flamini. He didn't have a great start to life in Milan, making nowhere near the number of starts as he'd had with Arsenal at the same stage of the previous year, and being regarded as a utility player by the management. He finally won a place in the team after an injury crisis, and featured more regularly in the last few months of the season - as a right-back. It's been back to square one this season, with his appearances divided evenly between starts and cameos off the bench, and I'm sure he'll be delighted to have been linked with Spurs this week. The ability still seems to be there, but the chances are not - and despite the slightly bitter aftertaste of his departure 18 months ago, he is still best friends with Cesc and Rosicky and apparently often talks to Wenger. I don't know about you lot, but a central midfield of Cesc, Flamini and Song would make me happier than David Bentley with a vat of Brylcreem.

It would seem as though, in general, most players who leave early fail to recapture their Arsenal form. Whether finally winning that big contract saps their motivation, or they were largely a product of Wenger's style to the extent that they can't fit in elsewhere, certain former Gunners such as Reyes and Hleb have flopped badly so far. Ashley Cole and Thierry Henry are the two notable exceptions, and Adebayor and Toure still have time to buck the trend. But the experience of David Bentley might give any prodigious Arsenal youngsters second thoughts about seeking immediate first-team football elsewhere.

Merida, you have been warned...

Anyone notice the 19-year-old Arsenal midfielder score a hat-trick last night?

2010-01-13T20:19:00.003Z

Good evening, and I hope you're all reading this in better conditions than I currently find myself... my boiler thought this would be the ideal night to pull the old classic 'failure to ignite'.

So I thought I'd better write tonight's post before my fingers turn navy blue and jump ship.

It's been an interesting 24 hours at Arsenal, and there's been plenty of debate over Sol's likely return to the fold. As I'm sure you're aware by now, he participated in last night's 4-2 Reserves win over West Ham (he was subbed off at half-time with Arsenal 2-0 up), although just to clarify for those who seem to have got themselves a bit mixed up, such as the official Arsenal website, that doesn't mean he's signed a contract with us yet.

Reserve League registration is a very different thing. My dad could play for them if Neil Banfield wanted a doddering 52-year-old Welshman puffing about the centre-circle, shouting unintelligibly at the players and, most likely, the fans in the stands. (Happy birthday Dad...)

Of course, last night was a great chance for the youngsters to make an impression, with all of North London and pretty much the entire national media waiting with bated breath to see how the game turned out. Accordingly, Jay Emmanuel-Thomas bagged himself a hat-trick, but he might as well have run out of the tunnel with a small pistol and wiped out the entire West Ham reserves team. Nothing was going to detract from Sol's first half run-out, and besides, it would merely have been a standard day at the office for the West Ham physios.

He said after the game that he'd like a chance in the FA Cup, and personally I'd love to see him get a run out. He's a tremendously versatile player, who has played at left-back and centre-back, left-midfield and centre-midfield, and even up front on the odd occasion. He's one of the most powerful players to come through the academy, standing 6 foot 2 with the strength to match, and he's only 19. In 35 appearances for the Reserves and Under-18s last season (5 of which were off the bench) he scored 14 goals, and had a very successful loan spell at Blackpool earlier in the season. Needless to say, Ian Holloway wants him back.

Lastly, some contract news. Craig Eastmond, another big prospect, signed a long-term deal today, taking the number of new contracts this season to about 460.

Joining the JET Set

Sol's audition could see Senderos out

2010-01-12T20:56:00.002Z

The future of our defence now hinges upon how a 35-year-old, who last played for a club in the lowest tier of English professional football, performs against West Ham's fringe players.

Sol Campbell is representing Arsenal tonight in the Reserve match against West Ham, with the aim of securing a move back to Arsenal for the rest of the season. Apparently, the official Arsenal website announced his signature earlier, only to remove the story almost immediately.

The general consensus at the moment isn't exactly in favour of signing him. A quick look through the news tickers and you might as well have just arrived at your local supermarket on the eve of nuclear war, only to see your neighbours reduced to their primal instincts: half a dozen people scrapping for the last loaf of bread, their bloodied faces contorted in feral rage; best friends fighting to the death to reach the tills, throwing electrical appliances at one anothers' heads; women snarling and throwing bleach in each others' eyes in the battle to reach the household products; and even children biting various shoppers' fingers and punching innocent men in the groin, all under the instruction of their parents.

I'm not panicking, but I'm certainly not feeling confident about it, especially as it may ensure the departure of Philippe 'Former-Next-Tony-Adams' Senderos. The Swiss defender has been linked with a move away from the club since the summer, and having made only two appearances in the Carling Cup this season, his demands for first-team football would seem fairly rational, especially with a World Cup in five months to think about. I expect that Campbell's signature would lead to Senderos leaving this month, which is a real shame.

People forget his contribution to the club before his loan spell with Milan. As someone pointed out yesterday, he was an integral part of the defence which took us to the 2006 Champions League Final with clean sheets against Real Madrid, Juventus and Villarreal - and at the time, he was 21. He was also present throughout a series of clean sheets in the league in 2007-08, repeating the feat against AC Milan and earning himself a year with them. However, he is remembered by many for several costly blunders against Drogba and Torres, and most still seem to think he won't make the grade.

I spoke of this yesterday, but now I'm eager to hear everyone else's opinions. Obviously my own feelings have been made fairly clear, but I can understand Wenger's logic in switching a player who has been alienated from the first team, and is rumoured to be irremediably unsettled, for an influential player with a huge history at the club. I've set up a poll on the sidebar, and would be very grateful if you could let us know which of these two players you'd prefer to be on our books for the rest of the season.

The return of the Arsenal favourite we actually wanted back

2010-01-12T15:46:00.005Z

At last, the spark is back. After an unconvincing display against Everton, the team will be buoyed by the news that Cesc reckons he'll be fit for the Bolton game:

"My hamstring feels 100 per cent now. There is no point rushing it and Bolton away is a reasonable target for me."

Admittedly this sounds a bit familiar, as his most recent comeback from injury was a fairly brief one against Aston Villa. But after turning in a performance of that magnitude, he is desperately missed and I can't wait to see him back in action. We may well see him start the game on the bench again, but I'd imagine that Wenger will want to be completely sure before he risks his captain - and that would hopefully mean he'd be in the starting line-up.

"The snow may have disrupted the football, but it hasn't interrupted my rehab. I was running in the snow with physio David Wales and I wish someone was there to take a photo."

Aw. Admittedly, it wouldn't quite top that real-life 'Day After Tomorrow' photo of the UK, or the bizarre sight of a wintry Brighton Pavilion. But seeing Cesc's cheeky little grin as he hobbled about in the snow would be a real relief to Arsenal fans, indeed almost as much of a relief as a certain scheming Catalan might get from his perch in the treetops, watching Cesc change out of his muddy training kit with one hand pressing the binoculars into his lecherous eyes and the other...

Only kidding, Barca fans. Anyway, there's more.

"Everything was white, it was an unbelievable scene, just two of us in the middle of four pitches."

I can only imagine Robin van Persie's fury upon seeing the physio spending such quality time with another player. Confined to the injury ward, he would roll out of his bed and crawl along the floor, and with his eyes filled with envy and a venom last seen before that lunge on Graeme Le Saux, he would prop himself up against the window to see Wales and Fabregas running side-by-side in the snow. When the nurses rushed towards him, pleading for him to get back into bed and rest, he would scream at them to stand back, and ram his crutches into the eyes of any who dared intervene. Yet when the physio returned, he would simply clamber back into bed and employ the silent treatment whilst his injury was tended to, until he saw just how much Wales cared about his leg and eventually forgave him.

Back to Cesc, who added, "It was a nice experience, but also hard work, so hopefully it'll pay off."

Well, he's got five days, and the signs are good. We should be able to put out a fairly strong team against Bolton, provided nothing else happens in the meantime (which, I suppose, is quite likely), and a good result up there would give us the opportunity to rest a couple of players in the home game against the same opponents, which has now been rearranged for Wednesday 20th.

We'll definitely need to rotate a bit soon, as we now have five matches in the next fourteen days.

Pointless signing won't help Arsenal's defence

Would Sol Campbell help Arsenal's defence?

2010-01-11T22:41:00.004Z

Eighteen months ago, the Arsenal fans clamoured for an experienced central defender to shore up a weak backline. William Gallas had enjoyed a good couple of seasons, Kolo Toure was keeping his place in the team despite a dip in form, and then... well, then there was Alex Song and Johan Djourou, both 21 and each boasting about as much experience of the Premiership as the rapidly waning Andriy Shevchenko.

On several occasions during the 07-08 campaign, we had resorted to using Gilberto Silva - who had by then been ousted from defensive midfield, by a successor who would then spurn the opportunity to fulfill his world-class potential when given the chance to warm benches around Italy - as a centre-back. But Gilberto was gone, and next out the door would be 22-year-old Philippe Senderos, who some Milan scout game for a laugh had decided would be ideal to fill in during Alessandro Nesta's 'Ledley King year'.

Clearly, we had to act. One injury to either Gallas or Toure and we would have to throw a relatively untried youngster to the wolves. We needed someone with experience who could compete for a place in the starting XI, but who would recognise that he was arriving as a back-up - never an easy task. Wenger worked throughout the summer to secure the all-important 3rd choice centre-back, a player who might eventually feature as often, if not more, than one of the two regular starters.

Throughout August, we Gooners would refresh the news tickers long into the night, grimacing at the sight of relegation fodder like West Brom delving into the murky depths of washed-up top four rejects, or picking out random players from obscure countries for roughly the cost of a supermarket brand ready-made sandwich. Rumours flew around the internet, and through bleary, bloodshot eyes, fingers convulsing wildly over the mouse as coffee after coffee saturated our veins, we scanned reams of big names in the hope that Arsene would pull off a late transfer coup.

And so, a couple of weeks into the season, we were presented with the image of a hunched Mikael Silvestre sitting in some sort of late-night transfer-window shed.

He had a decent start to life as an Arsenal player, deputising well enough in his first few games. There were signs of trouble ahead in the 4-4 draw with Tottenham, with Silvestre one of the players to come under fire for throwing away a two-goal cushion. He redeemed himself with a solid performance at home to Manchester United and some good displays during Arsenal's unbeaten run in the league, but his form deteriorated considerably towards the end of the season, with a notable low point (for him) being the 4-4 draw at Anfield, when he was partly responsible for the last couple of Liverpool goals.

Whoever called him 'geriatric' at the much-hyped shareholders' meeting last summer certainly wasn't being fair on him, and he was still seen as a decent enough back-up. This season he has played a very minor role, due to the fitness and exceptional form of Gallas and Vermaelen over the last few months, but he hasn't impressed me since the Carling Cup game against Liverpool. His pace isn't the same and he doesn't close down forwards as often as he should, and he is sometimes guilty of collapsing our offside trap. However, at the moment, I'm willing to accept that he cost us less than a million and he clearly isn't a first-choice player, and I will tolerate him being a back-up until the end of this season - provided that Senderos gets his chance ahead of the Frenchman should anything happen to either of the two regular starters.

With Senderos back, hopefully having paid attention to some of the best defensive coaches in the world during his time in Italy, and Alex Song performing well when called upon at the back, our options don't seem dreadful. But that largely comes down to the fact that, so far, our backline has generally avoided the Curse of van Persie, and the back-ups haven't had any opportunities to mess things up. We've conceded more goals than we should have, but I would put that down to our current habit of throwing the entire defence forward and training our goalkeepers to leap around the area when defending set-pieces.

Some seem to have ruled out Senderos as a viable option, or forgotten his existence altogether. However, most fans forget that in all of his performances in an Arsenal shirt (barring his two Carling Cup outings this season, which went well enough) he was 22 or younger. He was on good form in 07-08, playing a massive role as we kept a series of clean sheets in the Premiership and shut out Milan in the Champions League; and after more than eighteen months since his last proper run in the side, we shouldn't be assuming that he can't make it at Arsenal. When he signed for the club as an 18-year-old, Arsene Wenger compared him to Tony Adams, and if a manager recognised as one of the best finders of young talent in football gives him that kind of praise, I still have high hopes for him.

Where Sol Campbell would fit into our squad beats me. He had lost a considerable amount of pace by the time he left Arsenal, and though what used to be one of the best defensive minds in the country must still be largely intact, at 35 his fitness won't be at the kind of level needed at a top four club. If we were going through a defensive crisis, moving for him might be understandable, but we have four healthy centre-backs and one more scheduled to return from injury in a couple of months.

We certainly won't be bringing in any big names at centre-back any time soon, and some fans seem willing to accept Sol Campbell as a suitably cheap option. But personally, I don't think he would give us enough to justify bumping down the others in his position, and if signing him meant selling Senderos, I would rather we didn't.

Sol battles it out with Senderos

Sol Campbell and Philippe Senderos in 'Centre-Back Idol'

2010-01-11T10:42:00.007Z

(Sketch)

Bracing against the icy breeze, Arsene surveyed his young charges as they ran a lap of the pitch.

Armand Traore and Bakary Sagna were leading the pack, Eduardo and Carlos Vela weren't far off, and the midfielders and centre-backs were clustered behind. Abou Diaby was lumbering his way through, accidentally clipping the backs of his teammates' heels and propelling them sideways. The procession was followed by Mikael Silvestre and Philippe Senderos, each labouring with every step and puffing with exhaustion.

The French full-backs came to a halt in front of Wenger, engaging in a comical battle of slaps and knee-blocks as they fought to stand closer to their manager. The rest of the team gradually gathered around Arsene, hands behind their heads as they quickly regained their breath.

Wenger clapped his hands and shouted out to his players. "Tres bien. Now, I think today, if we -"

He emitted a hoarse yell as he was suddenly sent flying backwards. Philippe Senderos, the last to arrive, had skidded across the ice and failed to stop in time, lunging feet first into his manager.

The rest of the squad covered their mouths and tried to keep a straight face, but a collective, muffled laugh escaped their woolen gloves. Wenger tried in vain to stand up, his spindly legs scrabbling about on the ice in the manner of a lanky dog on a frozen pond. Senderos grabbed his manager by the hand and dragged him forcefully to his feet.

"Thankyou, Philippe," Wenger sighed in frustration. "You need to be more -"

He was winded as Senderos tried to clean the mud off his jacket.

"Philippe... stop..."

The Swiss obliged and stepped back, his eyebrows raised submissively and his mouth drooping in an anxious frown. His manager was doubled over, gasping for breath - the training ground fell silent.

"Philippe, you're trying my patience," Wenger boomed. "Go on, get out of the way. Try to be more careful."

Senderos turned and joined his teammates, his head lowered and his shoulders hunched.

"Right, let's get on with some drills. Pat, have you got the -"

"Morning everyone!"

Wenger closed his eyes and took a deep breath, his patience circling the drain. He turned to see Sol Campbell jogging enthusiastically towards him, dressed in his 03-04 home strip and carrying a bundle of newspapers.

"Yes, hello Sol, you're just in time. Pat, have you -"

"Wow, there sure is some interesting stuff in the papers today. For instance, if you look at the Mirror" - he raised the page to Arsene's face, the manager recoiling from the garish print and mindless speculation - "they seem to think I'll be signing up this month!" He laughed uproariously. "I guess I've still got it in me!"

Wenger cast an uneasy glance at Pat Rice, who was grimacing at the former Gunner. Emmanuel Eboue quietly stepped behind Diaby, avoiding eye contact with his old teammate, while Gallas bore the look of a man coming face-to-face with his wife's ex-husband.

"Okay, Sol, but let's not have that get in the way of today's session," Wenger responded, his words slow and calculated.

"There's more!" Campbell shouted, a frenzied look in his widening eyes. "The Times seem to think so, even the Telegraph and the Guardian!" He laid the papers out neatly on the grass, pointing to articles already doused with highlighter ink. "You should read them!"

"Sol, I don't think -"

"You... should read them." Campbell was deadly serious now, appearing more menacing as he stood tall and peered round at the young squad. He briefly caught the eye of Senderos; the young Swiss hurriedly looked away, visibly intimidated.

"Maybe later," Wenger replied. "Pat and the others will run you all through some drills while I go have a look at the Under-18s. I'll be back to watch the practice match later." With that, he briskly crossed the training pitch and disappeared through the gate separating the first team squad from the reserve and youth teams.

The team spent a couple of hours going through various drills. The physios stood at the side of the pitch, waiting for the daily spree of injuries, this time taking Tomas Rosicky, Theo Walcott, Eduardo, and Abou Diaby away for treatment; William Gallas, however, fought them off despite seemingly breaking his ankle, insisting that he would complete the session.

Wenger returned in time for the practice match, bringing a couple of the youngsters over to make up the numbers. Most of the starting XI from the Everton match would play the back-ups, who would feature Campbell at centre-back and Mikael Silvestre on the left.

The game started smoothly enough, with Andrei Arshavin making it 1-0 and Manuel Almunia presumably pulling off several breath-taking saves to justify his starting place. Wenger kept an eye on the back-ups' central defence, wanting to determine Senderos' progress while gauging Campbell's performance.

The trouble started during the back-ups' first real spell of possession.

"Stop, stop, stop!" Wenger stepped onto the pitch, theatrically waving his arms in the air, ducking to avoid being hit in the face by Mark Randall's wayward pass. "This won't do. Philippe and Sol - Philippe, get your hands out of your shorts! The pair of you, what are you doing standing in your own half while the rest of the team is pushing forward?!"

Campbell stared back in disbelief, as Senderos turned to face in the other direction with his finger up his nose.

"Surely we should -" Campbell turned to Pat Rice for support, only to see the assistant manager frantically shaking his head and gesturing for the defender to stop talking.

Wenger was incensed. "What do you think this is, 2004?! You should be on the edge of the area, supporting the forwards!"

Campbell nodded, reminding himself that this was an opportunity to impress. "Okay, sorry." He jogged towards the penalty area, as Senderos ambled along directly behind him.

"That's better." Arsene stepped back off the pitch and returned the ball for Sagna to take the throw-in.

A few minutes later, the first team won a corner. Nasri placed the ball by the flag and stepped back, preparing to cross.

"Non, non!" Wenger cried, again walking onto the pitch. "Sol, what the hell are you doing?!"

Campbell was perplexed. The opposition was gawping at him in horror; William Gallas, who he was marking, was backing away with a look of disgust.

"What are you doing marking at a corner?! Look around, what are your teammates doing?"

Campbell looked around the penalty area, realising that not one of the back-ups was in sight. "What the -" He turned to face the goal, only to see the other nine outfield players bunched up on the goal-line, pressed as close to Lucasz Fabianski as was physically possible.

"You should be protecting the goal, ignore the other team! Pathetic!" Wenger stormed off the pitch, muttering French obscenities under his breath. The match continued.

About ten minutes later, the back-ups won a corner. The first-team, desperate to prevent a goal like the one they conceded against Everton the previous weekend, gathered together in front of Almunia, all keeping their eyes firmly fixed on the ball.

A sliced corner floated in, and the majority of the back-ups shrieked in terror and ran back towards their own half, their elbows over their heads. Only Campbell and Senderos remained; the former was waiting at the far post, the latter in an inconvenient position at the edge of the area. With time running out, Campbell saw his chance to shine and sprinted to meet the ball, which was on a trajectory towards the head of his Swiss teammate.

However, after running approximately ten feet, Campbell keeled over. He had overexerted himself, and his lungs were fighting for oxygen.

Senderos was watching with childlike curiosity, his hands inexplicably full of grass and his mouth surrounded by hints of mud. No sooner had he decided to go and help his colleague than the ball bounced off his head and looped into the far corner.

He stared spellbound as the net rippled, then grinned and clapped his hands enthusiastically. He jogged back to his half as the physios surrounded a gasping Sol Campbell.

"Sol, I think you should go home," Wenger asserted.

"Fine," Campbell wheezed. "I don't know what's happened to this defence, but I don't want to be a part of it. Anyway, there's no way you could've matched what I was earning at Notts County."

"Enlighten me," the Frenchman responded dryly.

"£420,000 a week." The defender shook the physios off and made his way back to the carpark, while the players looked on in astonishment.

Senderos smiled to himself and returned to his position as the first team prepared to kick off. However, the game was again held up by a familiar face dashing onto the pitch.

It was none other than Ashley Cole, who had somehow arrived from Chelsea's training ground within seconds.

"I heard something about £420,000 a week?"

Arsene Wenger and Joan Laporta in 'The Letter'

2010-01-10T11:36:00.004Z

(Fictional)

Joan woke with a start. The phone by his bedside was ringing.

He wiped the sweat off his brow and rolled over, frustrated that a rather pleasant dream about Fabregas, a bottle of red wine and a shower had been so abruptly curtailed.

He struggled to get ahold of the receiver - his greasy fingers were simply slipping over the plastic. After a brief struggle he pressed the receiver against a fleshy cheek and enquired, "Si?"

"Good morning, Mister Laporta. I'm afraid something has come up. You need to get to your office immediately."

Laporta sighed impatiently. "It's not Yaya Toure again, is it? If that brother of his says one more -"

"No, Mister Laporta. It's about Cesc Fabregas."

Laporta sat up eagerly. "Did he get the flowers?"

"Erm, you'd better just get here quickly."

After a hurried drive and a bizarre confrontation with club security, Laporta sat at his desk and stared at the envelope. 'This could be it', he thought, beads of perspiration splattering across the paper. 'He might finally be mine'.

His fat fingers trembling, he delicately opened the envelope and withdrew the letter. He unfolded it and pressed it open against the desk.

What he then read astonished him.

"Dear Mr Laporta,

I am writing to address your constant harrassment of my players.

On a seemingly daily basis, you have been targetting my captain Cesc Fabregas in the media, insisting that he wishes to return to Barcelona and making wholly inappropriate comments about a pending deal. Well, I am writing to inform you that Cesc is categorically unavailable.

We do not say that Messi and Kaka will sign next week here. If one day we want to sell a player and you are interested, you can call us.

Anyone can see why you bought Alex Hleb from us. He was good friends with Cesc, and you thought you could copy Real Madrid's Heinze-Ronaldo trick to get what you wanted. Well, I hope you've learnt your lesson, and thank you very much for the profit.

Cesc Fabregas is not for sale. So stop your media statements, stop trying to unsettle him, and stop hanging around outside his house, he is terrified of you. Save your trouserless episodes for Barcelona airport.

Kind regards,
Arsene Wenger."

---

I should probably repeat that none of this is true - this is a completely fictional post. As far as I'm aware, Joan Laporta has no romantic or wanton interest in Cesc Fabregas.

Not that I'd be surprised should such a story emerge.

Arsenal 2 Everton 2: The Post-Match Team Talk (Not Real...)

2010-01-09T20:23:00.002Z

Wenger stormed into the dressing room and kicked the nearest locker. Carlos Vela screamed and ran to the bench opposite.

"That was our big chance! What a load of merde!"

The players hung their heads in shame.

"Chance after chance, and none of you could score. Aaron, that was rubbish, you were only expected to play as well as Cesc would, and yet you gave me no choice but to sub you. You might have saved us in the FA Cup, but you're nineteen now - I'm beginning to think you can't handle the pressure. And Fran, I don't know what you were doing, obviously you have something far more important on your mind while the rest of us are trying to win matches.

"As for you Eduardo, I can't remember why I took you off, but you just weren't good enough out there. You can dribble through defenders and set up goalscoring opportunites all you like, but..." He trailed off. Eduardo stared back with a puzzled expression, but the explanation he expected was not forthcoming.

Wenger turned to Arshavin, becoming more enraged by the second. "Andrei, when we resort to long balls, you should be getting your head to them. I'm very disappointed in you, I suppose you're not the aerial threat I thought you were."

A speechless Arshavin turned to his teammates in utter bewilderment. They returned a sympathetic look, Abou Diaby in particular - the Frenchman still hadn't figured out why in God's name Wenger expected him to win headers.

Wenger turned to Bakary Sagna, and his expression relaxed momentarily. "Bakary, your crossing was excellente today. In every game, as soon as you get possession I want you to run to the byline and cross."

"But boss, I can't really -"

"Silence, Bakary, I won't hear a word of it! Your crossing is integral to our attack." He turned to the rest of the team, and the love in his eyes gave way to a steely glare. "So what the hell was going on at that corner?! If the two idiots who were marking Everton players had instead done what they were supposed to, there would have been more than just eight outfield players bunched together in front of the goal. Ridiculous!"

Almunia was the next to feel Wenger's wrath. "Have you not been listening to Mart Poom? We pay him for a reason Manuel, he is your goalkeeping coach. Pienaar should not have been able to lob you like that, you should have rushed out and slide tackled him well before he got anywhere near the penalty area."

"Yes, boss," Almunia sighed, his head dropping.

Pat Rice meekly stepped forward. "Arsene, I think now might be the time to mention our high backline -"

Wenger slammed his fist against a locker. "No, Pat! In fact, this wouldn't have happened if William and Thomas weren't swanning about on the halfway line, when they should have been pushing forward. How many times must I stress this: you are OVERLAPPING centre-backs. If we're attacking, you should be contributing."

"Arsene, I'm not sure if there is such a thing," Rice stammered.

Wenger turned to Rice, fire and brimstone contorting his features into an angry amalgam of wrinkles. "That is enough, Pat." His assistant manager backed off, with the look of someone who had learnt not to cross his superior.

The Frenchman turned back to his players, who were becoming more and more confused. He put one hand on his waist and limply waved the other towards the door. "Oh, get out of my sight, the lot of you".

The players scurried towards the door, each more eager than the next to squeeze out of the room and away from his irate manager.

Wenger took a deep breath and composed himself. "Denilson, how are you feeling?"

The young Brazilian was still strapped to his stretcher, propped up against one of the benches, the physios having been dismissed upon his delivery to the dressing room. His mouth struggled to formulate words for all the binding squashing his face. "Not good Mister Wenger, I don't think I can play for a while. My ribs hurt..."

"Don't be so pathetic, I'm sure you'll be fine until Alex gets back from Angola."

A solitary tear escaped Denilson's eye and meandered down his cheek. "Please Mister Wenger, it really hurts, I need the physios."

"Zut. Fine, I'll get the club doctor to have a look at you. But whatever happens now is your fault, you knew that you were meant to stay fit while Song was away. Do I look like I'm made of defensive options?!"

Rice took Wenger aside, glancing at Denilson with concern. "I think we might have to consider bringing someone in."

Wenger's brow twisted in indignation. "No, Patrice! I'm not going to bring in some player who can't play up front. Besides, only Chelsea, Man United, Tottenham, Aston Villa, Birmingham and Fulham have conceded less than us."

January Forecast: the Arsenality Guide to the Rest of the Month

January Forecast: the Arsenality Guide to the Rest of the Month

2010-01-09T15:00:00.000Z

9 January: Everton match postponed immediately before kickoff after a fierce 10-minute blizzard, which covers the Emirates in four feet of snow, tears train tracks apart, and kills several people in the Highbury area. Arsenal widely criticised for short notice.

10 January: Arsenal linked with tall striker Nikola Zigic.

11 January: Tomas Rosicky taken to emergency room after horrific Nintendo Wii accident. Injury not as bad as first feared - Rosicky expected to be out for around a week.

12 January: Arsenal linked with tall striker Roman Pavyluchenko.

13 January: After some distasteful letters (unpublishable by the British media following a court injunction), FC Barcelona President Joan Laporta is given a restraining order requiring him to stay at least half a mile away from Cesc Fabregas at all times.

14 January: Following a bizarre attempt at a tackle in training, Theo Walcott suffers minor ankle injury. Expected to be out for a week.

15 January: Complications with Rosicky's Nintendo Wii injury delay his recovery - expected to be out until the end of the month.

16 January: Arsenal linked with tall striker Peter Crouch.

17 January: Away Bolton fixture postponed after Arsenal are snowed in by overnight blizzard. Arsenal widely criticised for not walking to Bolton.

18 January: Rosicky's Nintendo Wii injury becomes infected. Midfielder's career in jeopardy - tabloids claim amputation is a possibility.

19 January: Theo Walcott given second opinion over ankle injury - it emerges that his ankle is actually broken. Out for indefinite period.

20 January: Arsenal linked with tall striker Luca Toni.

21 January: Stan Kroenke buys one more Arsenal share. Back pages drenched in speculation.

22 January: Arsenal linked with tall striker Ivan Klasnic.

23 January: Rosicky in critical condition. Fears for his life.

24 January: FA Cup tie away at Stoke ends in 0-0 draw. Failure to win means there will be a replay at the Emirates next month - Wenger slams FA for poor scheduling.

25 January: In response to calls for back-up at centre-forward, Arsenal raid CFR Cluj for African Francophone Lacine Traore.

26 January: In response to calls for experienced back-up in central defence, Arsenal raid AS Monaco to sign African Francophone Djimi Traore.

27 January: Arsenal face tricky away tie against Aston Villa, which is made slightly harder by Mikael Silvestre's panicked last-man foul in the box, which cuts the Arsenal team to ten men and gives Villa a 1-0 lead from the spot. Arsenal fight back to take 2-1 lead, but Villa equalise in the last minute. The papers predict Aston Villa will storm to the title.

28 January: Uncertainty over Rosicky's future. Tabloids claim he is dead.

29 January: In response to calls for back-up in attacking midfield, Arsenal raid Commune FC for African Francophone Moussa Traore.

30 January: In response to calls for back-up in defensive midfield, Arsenal raid FC Girondins de Bordeaux to sign African Francophone Abdou Traore.

31 January: Arsenal host Manchester United, whose crippled defence now consists of Anderson, Dimitar Berbatov, Michael Owen and Paul Scholes. Best of all for Arsenal fans, Ben Foster starts in goal. Scholes concedes a penalty and gets sent off within 30 seconds of kick-off, and Eduardo converts. Eduardo goes on to score a hat-trick and after Arsenal's convincing 3-0 win, the papers predict Arsenal will storm to the title.

The Arsenal and Bolton Players in 'A Snow Day at the Emirates'

2010-01-06T13:00:00.001Z

(Sketch)

Arsene looked out the window, casting a thoughtful eye over the sheet of snow covering the pitch. He gazed up at the grey sky, which was by now haemorrhaging snowflakes the size of golf balls. Where in God's name was the groundsman?

"We have to cancel the Bolton game," he decided. "My players cannot work in these conditions."

The players babbled excitedly. Denilson and Diaby looked at each other and breathed a sigh of relief - by the time the match was replayed, Fabregas would be back to help them out.

Wenger stared out the window, wondering how this would affect the fixture list. Would he have to chastise the Premier League again for their thoughtless scheduling?

No sooner had he decided he'd try the groundsman's mobile one more time, than he felt a dainty tug on his jacket. He turned around to see nothing behind him; curiously, he looked down, to see a bashful Andrei Arshavin gazing at the floor and twisting the ball of his foot into the carpet in uncertainty.

"Mister Wengerski, it is so long since I have enjoyed a proper winter, and it brings fond memories of Mother Russia and my people. If the game is cancelled, does this mean... does this mean I could go and play in the snow?"

"Oh, Andrei," Arsene chuckled, as one of the world's greatest attackers lifted his head in childlike hope, his eyes wide and glistening with innocence. He ruffled the Russian's fluffy hair. "Of course you can."

"Thankyou Mister Wengerski, thankyou!" Andrei beamed, reaching up and hugging Arsene's knees. "Your kindness will not be forgotten!" And with that, he waddled eagerly for the door. "Come, comrades, join me for frivolity in the snow!"

There arose a collective cheer, and the players all bundled through the door, the little Russian tumbling in their wake. Arsene chuckled and shook his head. 'Those rascals,' he thought to himself, as he clasped his hands behind his back and turned back towards the window.

He felt a hurried tap on his shoulder. Again, he turned around, this time to come face-to-face with young Philippe Senderos, who was pressed well into the boundaries of Arsene's personal space.

"Yes, Philippe?" Arsene enquired, taking a small step backwards.

The distressed Senderos frowned and pointed to his feet. Arsene looked down to see the 6 foot 3 inch defender's toes wiggling in his mismatched socks, and a pair of snowboots in his hands.

"Philippe," Arsene sighed. He rolled his eyes and took the snowboots. "You really shouldn't need my help anymore, you're nearly 25."

He shoved the snowboots onto their owner's elephantine feet, as Senderos watched silently in childish intrigue. "There you are, now go join the others."

Senderos smiled appreciatively and lumbered out of the room.

The players frolicked in the snow for the rest of the afternoon. Almunia was bombarded with snowballs by the youngsters, trying to catch them in the hope of returning fire, but to no avail. Diaby built a fort on his own and spent the entirety of the afternoon watching out for invaders through a small peep hole. Gallas got tired and headed for the changing rooms, but Wilshere and Eastmond scurried after him, begging for him to come back and play, until he gave in and returned to the pitch.

Rosicky and Nasri spent several hours hiding in the stands and pelting passersby with snow, ducking behind the seats and giggling. They went a tad too far and annoyed Vermaelen, who followed their hushed laughter and dragged them from their hiding place by the scruff of their necks, took them to the changing room, and left them hanging by their hoods from their respective pegs. They spent a short time hanging and swaying limply, until Senderos overheard them whistling and enthusiastically calling his name, and bounded to the rescue.

The sun descended over a pleasant scene at the Emirates, as Wenger watched from the directors’ box with paternal pride. It disappeared over the West stand, and the pitch was briefly plunged into darkness, before the orange glare of the floodlights poured out over the disturbed blanket of sparkling snow.

All of a sudden, an icy wind swept through the stadium. The youngsters fearfully clung to Gallas for protection and warmth, as the Frenchman sniffed the air and suspiciously scanned the stands. Diaby's eyes disappeared from the window of his fort; Denilson and Nasri leapt behind the advertising hoardings for cover.

The earth rumbled, and a monotonous, repetitive thud rhythmically shook the stadium.

'Zut,' Wenger thought to himself, watching anxiously from the safety of the box. 'I forgot to tell Bolton the game was off.'

The eighteen-strong Bolton squad emerged from the tunnel, towering over the trembling Arsenal players. Cahill, Muamba and Knight glared menacingly at the youngsters clutched to Gallas' legs. Wilshere simply screamed and sprinted towards Owen Coyle, but it was too late - he was one of them now, and the wonderkid no longer had a loan at Burnley to save him.

The two squads stared at each other in silence. The atmosphere was tense, the air ice cold.

Vermaelen made his way through his teammates, and stood directly in front of Bolton, his arms by his sides and his expression resolute. The rest of the squad watched him in admiration, but they remained gripped by fear. The Bolton players continued to stare, steam billowing from their nostrils, the silence unbroken.

All of a sudden, a compact snowball whizzed through the air and shattered across the face of Jussi Jaaskelainen. Everyone turned to see a regretful Andrei Arshavin, his hand still poised in the air, watching Jaaskelainen angrily wipe the snow from his face.

Another snowball flew across the pitch, this time striking the face of Ivan Klasnic; it was Samir Nasri, who had boldly stepped to Arshavin's side.

Without a moment's hesitation, the Arsenal players rallied around their attacking midfielders, assailing the Bolton players with round after round of snowballs and propelling them back towards the tunnel. Predictably, their opponents simply gathered in front of Jaaskelainen, recoiling against the snow and concentrating solely on shielding their goalkeeper. Kevin Davies stepped forward momentarily, cocking his arm and taking aim; but he was instantly struck by a fresh round of snowballs and scarpered back towards his teammates. Bolton retreated to the tunnel and clambered up the stairs, snowballs still exploding against the backs of their heads; Wenger dashed to the windows overlooking the plaza, just in time to see them piling back onto their coach, which was already in motion. Johan Elmander squeezed through the doors just in time, and the coach accelerated towards the Holloway Road and disappeared over the horizon.

All of Bolton's eighteen players had fallen, and not a single Arsenal player had been hit. Wenger rushed down to the pitch and congratulated his team, while the dozens of injured players applauded from the stands. They celebrated in the players' lounge, where they drank and made merry, before staggering back to their homes and retiring for the night, content after a wonderful day at the Emirates.

And when the match was replayed, the score was again 18-0.

Bendtner's return could mean no signings for Arsenal

2010-01-05T13:59:00.000Z

Nicklas Bendtner has returned to full training and reckons he'll be back in time for the away match at Bolton on the 17th. This is bloody good news, especially as (provided he doesn't suffer another setback) this could make him available for the match at Aston Villa and the consecutive clashes with the rest of the Big Four.

I have my doubts as to whether neglecting to sign a big forward in the transfer window would be wise, but if Bendtner looks in good shape later in the month, I honestly think Arsene won't sign anyone.

If the striker doesn't suffer another injury for the rest of the season, we may well be glad he didn't make a signing, because the Big Dane was on good form before our favourite international break and this could be his breakthrough season. If he does get injured and we have no direct back-up, I think we'll be in trouble, more so in the Champions League and, potentially, the FA Cup.

Keep in mind that a January window is very difficult for a team competing in Europe, because the kind of quality we're after is usually cup-tied and/or too expensive. I think this year our priority should be someone who can play in all competitions, but it's unlikely. Although other fans may have their reservations, Carlton Cole might be ideal - the question is whether Arsene thinks he is a) good enough and b) will fit in to our style of play. When it comes to players like Cole who are relatively unproven at the very top level (minus some promising displays for England), I completely trust his judgment, whatever he decides.

Some interesting names have been mooted lately. Adriano would be available in all competitions and, I expect, affordable - the question is whether or not he can put his demons behind him. As for the cup-tied players, Huntelaar isn't allowed to move again this season and Dzeko is too expensive, but Wenger hasn't ruled out Gignac.

It all depends on Bendtner's fitness and whether or not Arsene thinks he can sign someone good enough. He won't sign a player who he thinks would be little more than a reserve, and he won't look specifically for someone who can play in Europe. But if Bendtner is fully fit nearer the end of the window, I think it could be a quiet one for us.

What If... Arsene Didn't Sign Anyone At All?

2010-01-04T19:40:00.000Z

Despite a good first half to the season with most of the team in roughly the same condition as Ledley King's knee, some fans have expressed concerns that we still need more squad depth. With Wenger usually sure to include at least one established player amongst his forward triumvirate, as in midfield and defence, he might be concerned that he currently only has one trusted custodian available for this role out of the entire squad: Andrei Arshavin.

Indeed, the central attacking position is currently missing its two most established suitors in an Arsenal shirt, and has only recently received amorous glances from a mysterious, dark-featured man named Eduardo. "He's a bit on the short side, but he seems nice" Centre-Forward whispers to her friends Centre-Back and Centre-Midfield, who nod knowingly and reassure her that size isn't everything. "Be careful though," her flighty acquaintance Left-Back tells her, "I, too, have fallen for unfamiliar men during injury crises, but many times I've just ended up getting hurt. Plus, I'm not sure he's really Croatian."

Rumours abound that we're in for a big, proven forward; after all, Wenger himself has cast doubts as to whether the team will be able to continue its breath-taking scoring run without van Persie. Additionally, we've been linked with reasonably big names to provide defensive cover when the festive schedule inevitably begins to take its toll. But could it be possible that we might cope with what we've got?

I've discussed our options in goal over the last couple of days, and am satisfied that we have what we need. Almunia continues to divide opinion, but we know he's capable; the question is whether he can keep his composure at the right time, as he did last season, and sort out his aerial game. A decline in communication with his backline has become a bit of a problem, so it remains to be seen how he fares over the coming weeks. The most important thing is that we have a decent back-up keeper in Fabianski, who's on good form and should be able to make a positive contribution if needed.

At full-back we can have no real concerns. There are two quality players at both left-back (Clichy and Gibbs) and right-back (Sagna and Eboue), and we even have Traore as a fairly effective third-choice to cover on the left. Should anything happen on the right, Wenger may actually resort to Ramsey, given that he seems to bring up his defensive versatility literally every time he mentions him; in fact, this month may be the last for Kerrea Gilbert, who isn't the player we thought he might become back in 05-06.

At centre-back, I feel we have more to worry about. Gallas has generally had a very good season, and despite losing the armband over a year ago has shown he possesses the leadership qualities needed for a cohesive back-line. Vermaelen has also done well since he arrived, although I feel his goals may have papered over a few cracks - for instance, his marking really isn't up to scratch and he's been fortunate to not make any high-profile slips as of yet. Injuries to either of them could really damage our chances, and I worry about the reinforcements we have clumping about in our reserves. Senderos' foot has been doing its best to prevent him getting cup-tied, but it would appear as though he's stopped pushing for a transfer - his distressed episodes in the media have abated, so perhaps Wenger has reassured him that he has a future with us. As for Silvestre, I can't trust him against a big team until I see evidence that he's still capable of dealing with more accomplished opponents, and his performance at Manchester City (where he played reasonably well until faced with a proper challenge, when he simply ran alongside Shaun Wright-Phillips like a Pro Evo player receiving its directions from a jammed analogue stick, subsequently letting the winger cut around him and score) didn't inspire much confidence. Johan Djourou - remember him? - may, with any luck, return in time for the business end of the season.

In centre-midfield, we should be fine, but I wish there was a like-for-like back-up for Alex Song. Denilson tends to do a decent job in defensive midfield, but he seems to be more effective as the box-to-box 'other midfielder' to accompany Song and Fabregas - he has the stamina for this role, and I'm not sure he has the discipline to shield the back four. Eastmond has shown very promising signs, but it's more likely that Denilson or Diaby will deputise as the last midfielder during the African Cup of Nations. I can't see Wenger bringing in someone given that the tournament will only last this month, and Song's traditionally robust fitness may have convinced the boss that he won't be suffering any long-term injuries this season. But it will happen one day - after all, he has only been a genuine first-team player for about 12 months, he's about to go through a very busy stretch of games, and, most forebodingly, he's an Arsenal player. Regarding the more immediate future, I'm concerned by the likelihood that, without Song, we will struggle away at Stoke and Villa, and possibly at home to Man United.

We have so many 5 foot tall, nippy, creative midfielders and wingers in our squad, it's a wonder that Barcelona haven't been skulking around the Emirates in a black van with tinted windows, a lustful glint in their eyes and a vial of chloroform clutched in their black leather gloves. We shouldn't have to worry about this position for a while; but up front is the big question. It's highly unlikely that we'll be making any signings in other areas - and hopefully, we should be okay without them - but we might not end up bringing in a forward either. Wenger has often said that he hopes to spend more in a window, before deciding there isn't enough quality available for the right price, and I have no complaints if he decides that he'll stick with what he's got, provided that there really isn't anyone we can realistically sign who will make the grade.

We've got some important games in a few weeks time - Aston Villa, Man United, Chelsea and Liverpool consecutively, sandwiched (if all goes to plan) by FA Cup ties, and then followed by the Champions League first leg at Porto. A big forward would make a difference in most of those games, and even though we managed to win at Anfield and at home to Villa without one, a considerable factor in our home defeat to Chelsea was the lack of a big man up front. At the moment we're scoring for fun, but it's important to note that most of the league ties after the Chelsea match were against less watertight defences.

Should we choose not to buy, then up front is the only position that should potentially pose a problem, assuming that the injuries die down. Eduardo is showing signs that he might be ready for the job, and the Man United game comes with home advantage and the added bonus of their most accomplished defender currently devolving into a vegetable. We should be able to cope without a big target man in the home games against Bolton and Everton, and the following return against the former, so we may well manage until the end of the month. If Bendtner returns to the fold in time for the Chelsea and Liverpool games next month, a big striker may be unnecessary, but a lot would then depend on him maintaining his fitness and form until May.

This is a fairly optimistic look at things, and the chances are another injury will crop up after the window. Our current forwards should be able to cope this month, and it may provide an opportunity for the likes of Eduardo, Vela and Walcott to prove their worth. The question is who will be available at the end.

West Ham 1 Arsenal 2: So What Have We Learned Today?

2010-01-03T23:33:00.000Z

A great comeback against a team who dominated for over an hour. West Ham deserved more out of the game, but our substitutions played a key part in overturning the scoreline - Nasri and Diaby made a real impact, and although neither played a direct role in the goals, they helped to finally unlock a very well-organised defence the moment they came on.

Full credit to West Ham for giving us a real scare, but we eventually managed to find a way through and put together some attractive attacks. Alex Song was excellent and showed just how much we'll miss him during the ACN, Aaron Ramsey filled Cesc's role superbly, Carlos Vela repaid Wenger's faith with two assists, and the two substitutes gave us some much-needed creativity and physicality respectively. But there were three players whose performances might have given the boss something to think about.

Lucasz Fabianski:

This was a superb display from the goalkeeper, without whose reflexes we almost certainly would have conceded a second and given ourselves an insurmountable task. He generally came for crosses and dead-balls at the right time, kept his defence in check, and pulled off a couple of blinding saves.

Almunia hasn't been awful lately, but he certainly hasn't been at his best. His communication with the defence has been lacking, and has caused a few hairy moments in recent matches which could have ended in disaster against more capable opponents. There's no need to panic about a few shaky games, but hopefully Fabianski's performance will have shown the Spaniard that he will have to improve.

Eduardo:

Eduardo's form has been steadily improving; he's become more involved in our plays, and he's now scored in three of his last four matches. His header was brilliant, and he showed good strength to hold his ground against a much taller opponent and get to the ball first. It looped beautifully into the far corner, and there really was nothing Robert Green could do about it.

Of course, he was kept fairly quiet for most of the game, but goals are what we bought him for and he's back to doing what he does best. He's on his best form since that fateful afternoon at St Andrews nearly two years ago, and he might have convinced Wenger that he has what it takes to lead the line while Bendtner and van Persie are out. It will be interesting to see how he features in our next two games.

Mikael Silvestre:

Silvestre wasn't terrible today, but he was dodgy enough to worry me. He put in some good challenges, particularly in the later stages, and he kept his composure after the goal. But he was constantly caught out of position when trying to contribute to the attack, lacking the pace and responses to react and get back in time. If Wenger made him stay in position a bit more often, I'd be a lot more comfortable with him playing at left-back, but judging from his recent loss of pace he might still struggle to hold a high line when he plays in the centre.

He certainly couldn't cope with the pace of Junior Stanislas. In all fairness, I've seen Eddie Stobart trucks with a better turning circle, and they're stable enough to stay upright. A few times this season he's been left stumbling after an opponent, eventually stacked it and ended up lying in their wake, and this rate it won't be long until we see him simply rolling torpidly in the mud from side to side to free himself.

I joke, but his big mistake was not being goalside of Diamanti when he was played through for the goal, and then falling over. He has done okay against lesser teams this season - he coped fairly well at left-back against Hull, and he gave a solid performance in the centre against a Liverpool attack spearheaded by Andriy Voronin in the Carling Cup - but I worry about how he'll perform when Gallas or Vermaelen picks up an injury and he has to play against the big teams.

---

In any case, plenty to be cheerful about: a good result, a place in the next round, and a league game in hand to look forward to at home against Bolton. And, of course, the Manckers are out!

Have a good evening Gooners, your opinions are welcome!

How Do You Solve A Problem Like Our 'Keeper?

2010-01-02T22:48:00.001Z

Assuming Wenger sticks to tradition on Sunday, Fabianski will take over as 'cup keeper' at West Ham. A growing number of fans have been calling for him to be given a run ahead of Almunia, and an away tie against a Premiership team should be a pretty good test.

This got me thinking about the goalkeeping situation at Arsenal. A couple of years ago, a keeper was first on most fans' wishlists whenever a transfer window came around, with much of our underachievement between 2005 and 2007 accredited to the comedy stylings of Jens Lehmann. The slightly insane but much-loved German would get himself into all sorts of adventures, picking fights at corners and apparently entertaining ambitions of a late change in career to full-back. He was often identified as a weak link in the first XI, despite his vital contribution in the Invincibles campaign, and his erratic form became too much in late 2007 when Almunia finally took the number 1 shirt.

But the Spaniard, after an excellent 08-09 season, has been rather unpredictable of late. His habit of flapping at crosses and corners has begun to put us in trouble more often, and we've been lucky that an opponent hasn't seized on one of these mistakes. He's a 'flamboyant' keeper, if there is such a thing, and he continues to show great reflexes by consistently pulling off brilliant saves, such as the one against Villa last weekend. However, he often looks uncertain and is prone to panicking, and if his shaky form continues it's only a matter of time until he makes a mistake and his fragile confidence is shattered.

This may be an ideal time for Fabianski to get a start, as a good performance from him might provide some fresh motivation for Almunia. After all, Mannone's impressive form in his absence seemed to give him a kick up the backside, and he played very well when he returned from injury against Spurs and AZ Alkmaar.

Speaking of which, the position of third choice might give Wenger something of a headache at the end of the window. The very highly rated Szczesny is scheduled to come back from Brentford on the 17th, ending a very successful loan where he has won his first cap for Poland aged 19 (playing the second half in a 1-0 win over Canada) and has kept three clean sheets in his last four appearances, one of which came against Leeds United and won him the Man of the Match award. Mannone, however, hasn't been out on loan since the 06-07 season, during which he endured a mixed spell at Barnsley, and he will be looking to gain more experience this season. Wenger faces a decision here, and although he has only mentioned sending Wilshere out on loan as the sole January departure, he may have to keep Szczesny as a back-up and send the older Mannone on loan at the end of the month.

What's clear is that we have considerably more options in goal than a few years ago, and at the moment we can at least be thankful that we no longer have to endure two senior goalkeepers taking it in turns to audition for the Christmas football blooper DVDs. Fabianski has a great chance to impress tomorrow afternoon, provided he keeps the ball near him and stops rolling it out into the middle of No Man's Land. Don't forget to vote in the poll on the sidebar, and I'll see you tomorrow.

The Real Reason We're Celebrating

2010-01-01T20:01:00.005Z

Three... two... one.

Bells tolled, fireworks exploded, hands raised, and drinks spilled. Pubs, bars, streets and homes were filled with music and cheering. After a difficult year, everyone had let their hair down for one special moment; strangers danced, friends hugged, and couples kissed.

Yes, it was the start of the January transfer window, and Arsenal had business to do. For the next 31 days, the rumours would inundate newspapers, websites and blogs, turning even the most cynical, realistic fans into naive, excitable children. Throughout the month, Gooners would babble amongst themselves, building up one another's expectations that Arsene would surprise them and pull off an unthinkable signing. Maybe Giorgio Chiellini? Maybe David Villa!

But in reality, this could be our quietest ever January window. Despite Mikael Silvestre featuring as regularly this season as Emmanuel Adebayor in a team-building exercise, and Philippe Senderos umming and arring about whether to keep his front-row season ticket, Wenger insists he won't be selling anyone. I'm hoping to see Senderos stay, because I think he deserves a couple of chances to show how he's come along in the last 18 months, but I'm less enthusiastic about Silvestre. His pace is going, he lags behind the first-team back four in quality, and his sole purpose seems to be leading the youngsters in our Carling Cup team. Throw in what I would assume is a fairly sizeable wage, and we could be getting more for our money.

However, if Arsene wants to avoid disrupting the squad with replacements, I can appreciate his logic. After all, we're doing well considering our injuries, and Man City have shown how unreliable a team can be without sufficient time to gel.

The key area where we are most likely to see some activity is up front. With Wenger indicating that Bendtner won't be available for a while yet, he would probably be right to seek some cover, as fielding three forwards under 6 feet is unlikely to yield goals against certain teams. However, with the futures of players like Eduardo and Carlos Vela - and indeed Bendtner - to keep in mind, a loan move may be a better idea than a permanent addition. That said, Klaas Jan Huntelaar would be the most likely option in this scenario, and personally I think he would be perfect. His Milan record has been somewhat crippled by the fact that many of his appearances have come through late, time-wasting substitutions, but he still enjoys a feared reputation as a clinical poacher. His height and world-class finishing make him an ideal replacement while van Persie's back at the home.

Should this not be possible, I would like to see Wenger go in for either Edin Dzeko or Carlton Cole. Both would almost certainly have to be permanent signings, although with West Ham in the mess they're in, you never can be quite sure. Dzeko looks like what we need: a towering striker who can fit into a fluid style of play. His finishing is reminiscent of Henry, and although his pace isn't, he would have the players around him to make up for it. Carlton Cole would be significantly cheaper, and wouldn't be cup-tied in Europe, which might make him a more realistic signing. He is Arsene's kind of target man, with a team ethic and passing style more akin to van Persie than Adebayor, although his athleticism could make him a good partner for the Dutchman when he returns. He's on and off the injury table at the moment, but that would make him all the more welcome at Arsenal.

In any case, it doesn't look like anyone's leaving, so at least this should be a less nervy transfer window for us than most. Arsene will be concentrating on the FA Cup match at West Ham on Sunday, so let's think about that first, and hope Carlton Cole isn't available.

Could Arsenal's Forgotten English Wonderkid Be The Next Steven Gerrard?

2009-12-27T22:26:00.000Z

He scores goals, he makes goals, he runs the midfield, and he captains.

A few years ago, Henri Lansbury was seen as the next big thing by Arsenal insiders. Writing for the Daily Telegraph, Arsenal legend Alan Smith (who I'd imagine has a good nose for talent...) described him as a player with "huge potential". Lansbury's year was the first in the academy to start at under-nine level, and he was seen as the brightest prospect of the lot. He has so far enjoyed an exceptional career in the England youth teams, and looks set to become a quality Premiership player.

Lansbury's natural position is in the centre, but he can play in a more advanced role and has frequently been deployed on the right wing. He has an athletic build, is an influential character on the pitch, can dictate passing moves, and has a keen eye for goal - essentially, the attributes of a young Steven Gerrard. At six feet, he's about three times the height of most of our midfielders, and is far more dominant physically and in the air.

This season he's been producing some excellent displays on loan at Watford, and is proving himself a real force in their midfield. Despite only turning 19 last month, he has already made fifteen league starts, setting up three and scoring two. After watching Lansbury tear the likes of Preston and Sheffield Wednesday to pieces over the last few months, Watford manager Malky Mackay has been singing his praises and is now seeking to extend his loan at Vicarage Road, which is set to expire at the end of this year.

What makes Lansbury's recent form all the more impressive is that he has bounced back from a long spell on the sidelines; he missed more than half of 2008 with glandular fever, but this doesn't seem to have stunted his development. Only a few months after his recovery, he went out on loan to Scunthorpe United, where he scored 5 goals in 17 games and became an integral part of their midfield as they achieved promotion to the Championship and reached the final of the Johnstone's Paint Trophy at Wembley.

His international record so far is hugely impressive. He captained the England Under-16s and Under-19s, reaching the final of the European Under-19 Championship this year having scored three goals in the competition. In November, only a month after his nineteenth birthday, he made his debut for the England Under-21s in their qualifier against Portugal. Aside from his captaincies, he has been a key figure throughout his time in the England youth teams: in fifteen Under-17 appearances, he scored five times; in twelve for the Under-19s, he scored seven.

Two seasons out on loan doesn't tend to be a good sign for a young English player's Arsenal career, and he's been extremely unlucky to have missed out on so much playing time in the under-18s. But Lansbury is finally beginning to get the recognition he deserves, and if his loan is extended Watford will have a real gem of a player this season.

Cesc Breaks Villa Hearts, Then Breaks Himself: Arsenal 3 Aston Villa 0

2009-12-27T16:06:00.000Z

An excellent team performance, an uncharacteristically flattering scoreline, and a leap up to second place. A great ending to a good weekend for Arsenal, although Fabregas' late knock might be a hefty price to pay.

With the captain starting on the bench, Denilson slotted straight into Cesc's role, always in the middle of everything and starting some great passing moves. He showed good commitment at one stage in the first half when he somehow managed to maintain possession on the ground, alone and surrounded by Villa players. He won a free-kick in a dangerous position on the edge of the area, with Richard Dunne having run out of ideas and thrown himself at the Brazilian; although having been handed the responsibility of taking the free-kick, Denilson thought it best to simply smack the ball straight into the wall.

When Cesc came on in the second half, it seemed a tad unfair on Denilson, but he was the only player who could feasibly be sacrificed. In any case, Cesc's impact was instant. His free-kick was absolutely perfect, squeezing over the wall and tucking itself into the near post nicely, and his celebration showed just how much he loves this club. He took his second goal superbly - he literally couldn't have placed it further from Friedel without hitting the post.

Credit for the second must also go to Armand Traore, who played a pinpoint 50-yard ball to Walcott, and to Walcott himself, who rolled a perfectly-weighted through ball into Cesc's path. Traore had a great game. He must be one of the most physically fit players at the club; he had no problem dealing with the pace of Ashley Young, and his upper body strength kept the Villa winger at bay.

Abou Diaby maintained his excellent form today - he finally looks to be making the grade. His size posed a real problem to the Villa midfield, and he was far more involved in the air than usual. He pulled off a couple moments of great skill, at one stage laying on an unmissable chance for Eduardo, which the forward promptly missed. He had gone a bit quiet towards the end of the second half, until he waltzed past the tired Villa defence and placed a great finish low into Friedel's left corner from the edge of the area.

Heskey made a nuisance of himself in the air, with most of Villa's attacks coming from his headers, but Sagna and Song coped with him well. Sagna had about as much chance of pulling off a successful cross as he has of winning the 2010 Hairstyle of the Year award, but he dealt with Villa's wide play very well and kept Milner quiet.

Gallas was slightly dodgy with some poor positioning, and his pace was no match for that of Gabriel Agbonlahor, but Thomas Vermaelen was back on form this afternoon. He showed one of the most tenacious pieces of defending by an Arsenal player since the days of Adams and Keown, shielding the ball with his entire body and shaking off a rather inappropriate attempt by Agbonlahor to mount him.

Another player to really return to form today was Manuel Almunia. He was much more assured today, dealing with almost every cross and making one of the saves of the season in the later stages when Agbonlahor looked odds-on to set up a nervy ending.

More on Cesc's injury later, but for now we can be happy after a thoroughly entertaining match at the Emirates, and an unusually clinical show in front of goal.

Cesc-Pests Barcelona Finally Get a Warning

2009-12-26T21:10:00.001Z

The Catalans continued to lay siege to Fortress Emirates, throwing all they could at Arsenal.

A simpering mid-interview plea from Xavi for Cesc to come and play alongside him; a reassurance to the Barcelona supporters from Joan Laporta that a bid was being prepared; a pointless Belarussian signing whose footballing services wouldn't be required, but whose close acquiantance with the playmaker could be exploited. They had every media tool available to them, and they refused to stop until they got what they wanted.

They were pressing closer now, the greasy-feathered vultures circling ever tighter. Tomas Rosicky was sobbing in a corner, Robin van Persie's new pacemaker was struggling to keep time, and Johan Djourou was trying his best to explain to Philippe Senderos what was going on.

Just when it looked like the Catalans were on the brink of smashing their way through the North Entrance, they were blinded by a dazzling light. They backed away from the doors, either shielding their eyes or diving to the ground in the vain hope of encouraging some form of punishment.

It was Peter Hill-Wood, who had emerged from the safety of the directors' box to intervene.

"I am really p****d off with Barcelona and all that nonsense," he declared.

Yes, that's right, we were finally standing up to Barcelona. The Daily Star has a record of the whole thing, minus the bits I made up.

"Cesc is on a very good, long-term contract and I don't think he has any intention of not honouring it."

Laporta was stunned. What was this word, 'honouring'?

"It is not the first time they have done this and it is a most disrespectful and tiresome thing to do. You would think there would be some action you could take against them, but I suppose you cannot stop the man shooting his mouth off. Our position, and I think Cesc's position, is very steadfast. He has been with us for seven years and there is no reason he should want to up sticks."

Steadfast? But surely Barcelona could bully him into changing his mind?

"From everything we hear he is very settled. He has a long-term contract and I see absolutely no reason why it shouldn't continue."

No reason? Laporta didn't understand. It wasn't as if Barcelona had completely overlooked him as a youngster, as if they lacked the foresight to notice his prodigious talent and do what was necessary to make him choose to stay. More importantly, how could Fabregas be settled in London - surely a Catalan could only be happy in the nationalist hotbed of FC Barcelona?

Perplexed, Laporta and his minions retreated. They had lost this battle; however, they hadn't lost the war. They'd be back soon with another desperate ploy for Cesc.

Hijinks on the Aston Villa Team Bus, and a Boxing Day 'Moment'

2009-12-26T14:32:00.004Z

Firstly, I hope everyone had a great day yesterday; I would like to think that I wasn't the only one who completely overdid it on the roast parsnips and pigs in blankets, and had to resort to changing into tracky bottoms halfway through the day.

Secondly, thanks to all those who commented on the Christmas Eve post, I was blown away by the response.

This weekend we'll be playing one of the toughest and most entertaining matches of the season. Exactly a year ago, we played at their place in an early six pointer for fourth place, and we blew a two goal lead in injury time. While it's a shame it won't be on Boxing Day this time around, I realise now that it probably isn't a match best viewed in the company of several relatives of varying ages.

My memories of the agonizing moment when Zat Knight scored that equaliser were roughly as follows.

When the ball hit the net, everything around me went into a blurred slow-motion. The voices of my family dropped about four octaves and became vague and distant, and like the sounds from the television, were increasingly drowned out by the thump of my quickening heartbeat. On the screen in front of me, claret and blue blotches were whirling around in celebration.

"Dave? Dave, what are you doing..."

I was slowly, and uncertainly, rising to my feet. Everything was shaking quite severely now, and sounds were becoming more and more muffled. Gradually surpassing the sound of my worryingly rapid heartbeat was a faint rumble - something was building up.

I looked down. My hands were trembling. Focusing as best I could, I could make out some concerned expressions around the room. Everyone was silent now, except for my Scouse uncle (don't worry, he married into the family), who was clenching his fists in triumph and guffawing obnoxiously at my misfortune.

I staggered forwards, keeling over from the sharp pain in my stomach. My heartbeat was becoming laboured now, as if trying desperately to force blood through a narrow gap in the copious deposits of turkey, sausage and bacon fat clogging my arteries. My body weak, I lamely threw a handful of Quality Street at my Liverpudlian tormenter and lurched towards the door. I made my way through the hall, propelling various obstacles across the carpet: Christmas presents, sleeping dogs, small children.

I soon found myself standing over my bed. My unfocused eyes rolled lethargically from side to side, seeking some defenseless inanimate object upon which I could unleash my fury. That rumbling was becoming a violent, cacophanous din, and I was shaking with rage. Spotting my pint glass, I seized it, aimed for the wall, and released.

I awoke a short while later. My limbs numb, I struggled into a sitting position on the bed and looked around. The room was fine, the pint glass intact; obviously I'd just been dreaming.

I looked at the clock on my bedside table - 8.15pm. Damn, that match did happen. Oh well, I thought, we were extremely lucky to go two goals ahead anyway. And if someone had told me at the start of the match that we'd leave Villa Park with a point, I'd probably -

Hang on, were those teardrops on my pillowcase?

Anyway, back in the real world, we face a difficult challenge against a full-strength Villa. With home advantage and Fabregas possibly back in the team, it may well be an opportunity to make a real statement of intent and give Chelsea something to worry about, but O'Neill's lot are in excellent form and will be making their way down to London tomorrow in high spirits.

I can see them now on their team bus, all excited and talking in English (it's cute how other clubs still do that), getting along ever so well. James Milner and Gabby Agbonlahor would be sat at the front just behind O'Neill, holding hands and singing bus songs; Ashley Young would probably be that compulsory hyper kid, bouncing up and down and kicking the back of the seat in front, upon which an enraged John Carew would be counting to ten and telling himself to ignore it. Brad Friedel would be psyching himself up, whooping and chanting "USA!", and sporadically grabbing his terrified team-mates and yelling things like "let's go kick some French ass!"

Richard Dunne and Curtis Davies would be playing catch with Stewart Downing's lunchbox, which his mum would have specially prepared for him. Downing would be pleading with them to give it back, tears streaming down his cheeks, until Emile Heskey selflessly intervened and retrieved it. Heskey would then ruffle the winger's hair and give him his own Penguin bar to cheer him up, and Downing would sniffle, wipe the snot away with the back of his hand, and gratefully tuck in.

As for today's matches, let's hope Chelsea and Spurs drop a couple of points - they've both got tricky away games and I reckon at least one of them will be leaving with less than three points.

Have a good Boxing Day Gooners, 'til tomorrow!

Arsene Wenger and Edin Dzeko in 'An Arsenal Christmas Carol'

2009-12-24T16:29:00.001Z

It was Christmas morning.

The sun beamed low across the thick coat of powdery, white snow enveloping the street. The air was crisp and still, and the snow remained untouched, glistening under the pure blue expanse of sky above. It was a quiet scene of seasonal tranquility.

Through the snow came the soft crunch of a young boy's footsteps. Turning the corner and passing a towering stone mansion, he nestled his head in his scarf and braced against the cold as he dragged his sled behind him, his breath forming hot, swirling clouds in the chill air.

All of a sudden, a pair of shutters flew open above him, sending a flurry of snow cascading onto the street. Startled, he looked up, only to get a faceful of powder.

Hearing high-pitched giggling above, he wiped the snow from his face to see what the commotion was all about. In the window above stood Arsene Wenger in his nightcap, uncharacteristically jolly and giving off a strange new aura of youthful exuberance.

"Say, what day is this?" the Frenchman called down to him.

The young boy sniggered, his brow twisted in bewilderment. "Why, Christmas day, Mister Wenger!"

Wenger clapped his hands, threw his head back, and emitted a hearty laugh. "Christmas day... Christmas day!" He span round in a frenzy, pressing his hand to his head and trying to gather himself together. "I haven't missed it!" he whispered. "The spirits did their work all in one evening! Well, of course they did," he mumbled, his thoughts racing, "Thank goodness!"

The boy looked utterly puzzled. Becoming slightly concerned by the old man's inane grinning and fidgeting, he interrupted. "Sir...?"

"Yes, dear boy. Do you know that butcher's round the corner, Wolfsburg's?"

"Yes, Mister Wenger."

"Splendid, dear boy, splendid!" Wenger bellowed, becoming increasingly animated. "And have you seen that enormous Bosnian copper turkey in the window?"

"Of course sir, all of London's been staring at it!"

Wenger's eyes widened, and he became more excited. "And is it still there? That dodgy fellow from Milan hasn't bought it?"

"Yes, I think it's still there, why?"

"Splendid!" Wenger chuckled, digging through the pockets of his robe. "Here, young fellow, take this money and fetch that turkey!"

He tossed a handful of coins at the boy who, overwhelmed, spilled them across the snow. He gathered them up and stood, perplexed. "Mister Wenger... this is twice what the turkey will cost!"

"Keep the rest for your trouble. Hurry now!"

"Y-Yes, sir!" the boy grinned, scrabbling to put the money in his pocket and grabbing his sled.

"Dear boy?"

The boy turned. "Yes sir?"

"Merry Christmas," Wenger beamed, a sickly-sweet smile spreading across his face.

"Merry Christmas, Mister Wenger!" the boy shouted, scurrying down the street as quickly as he could.

And so that afternoon, the good people of Highbury feasted together thanks to the generosity of a reformed Arsene Wenger. He had been visited in the night by the Ghosts of Christmas Past (David Dein), Present (Ivan Gazidis) and Future (Stan Kroenke), and would never return to his miserly old ways.

Understandably, the locals were perplexed by his change in behaviour, but no one questioned it; they simply ate and drank to their hearts' content. Even Senderos was allowed to join in. He got terribly excited, making far too much noise with his party blower and laughing uproariously at all of the Christmas cracker jokes, but he tired himself out quite quickly and was the first to be put to bed. Arshavin wasn't allowed too much food, of course, because everyone knew how he would get if he started putting on holiday weight. And at one stage Almunia spilled the roast potatoes, but Song was, as always, on hand to tidy up the mess.

They all returned to their respective homes content that night, with their bellies filled and their hearts warmed. They had endured a difficult year, but they were feeling confident about the next one. All because Arsene had splashed out on the prize Bosnian turkey.

And Tiny Tomas didn't die after all.

Merry Christmas Gooners!

Nasty Nick and Nasri, and Kroenke's Wild West Scene that Never Happened

2009-12-23T18:14:00.000Z

It's emerged this evening that the FA are charging both Arsenal and Hull for the melee on Saturday - a fair reaction I suppose, and I'd imagine that Hull will have more to worry about. Although you can never really be sure when the FA comes wading in on its high horse, shouting "children are watching, think of the children" and indiscriminately throwing bans and fines in all directions. I wouldn't be surprised if they followed this up by placing William Gallas, who pointedly refrained from joining in the fun, first in the firing line.

Regarding Nasri's stamp, I'm a bit surprised by the reaction from other Arsenal fans. While it certainly wasn't the worst thing a footballer has ever done, as some would have us believe, it was unnecessary and dirtier than I'd expected from one of our players, and others shouldn't be condoning it. Having said that, the Hull players weren't exactly cherubs. Nick Barmby threw a Napoleonic fit, Richard Garcia was the drama queen at the centre of it all, and Stephen Hunt had that "time to inflict some brain damage" look in his eyes.

Anyway, the biggest concern today is Stan Kroenke being only 17 shares away from the takeover threshold.

He's done this all very stealthily, and being a member of the board already he won't be ruffling too many feathers. It won't be the takeover I imagined a couple of years ago when this all began. He was meant to strut into the Arsenal saloon, his head down and his ten-gallon hat covering his features. Diaby would be passed out on the bar, Old Man Lehmann and Gallas would be sat in the corner playing cards, and Fabregas would be womanising at a table of fawning southern belles. When Kroenke's presence was felt, two of the women (Walcott and Denilson) would run shrieking out the door, and the place would fall deathly quiet. Wenger and Dein would be sat at the middle table, right in Kroenke's eyeline; the two parties would stare at one another, and before Dein could stand up and utter his line ("Well, well, looky here" or something of that nature) Senderos would break the silence by screaming "It's Silent Stan!" This would trigger a solid five minutes of gunfire and pandemonium, and Senderos would be the first to die.

It seems like he'll be hoping for a takeover by the start of next season; maybe he's hoping to get control of the Arsenal Gunners before the January Draft, although I can't imagine that having any impact on our transfer activity. As long as Usmanov doesn't get his fat, greasy hands on the club and destroy everything, I suppose I can tolerate Kroenke.

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Don't Panic

2009-12-17T19:49:00.000Z

Make no mistake, Turf Moor is a tricky place to go this season. Burnley have won most of their home league games (including their matches against Man Utd, Everton and Sunderland) and have only lost there against Wigan. To win a championship, a team needs to win matches like this - however, this was the kind of match that we would have lost a year ago, especially with Cesc out for the second half, so, disappointing as it is to leave with one point, we should keep in mind that it really could have been worse.

Alex Song was yet again far better than most of the team, second only to the captain. He (not Diaby) was the physical presence we needed against a strong Burnley team, and his authority grew after Cesc's withdrawal. Vermaelen and Gallas, on the other hand, were looking a bit dodgy again, and Sagna struggled against the in-form Chris Eagles; fortunately for us, Owen Coyle doesn't seem to have been following Silvestre's career path of late and ensured that his team's attacks tried their utmost best to avoid our sturdy 4th choice left-back. Arshavin didn't contribute as much as he should have, and Walcott was really disappointing again.

Almunia's form has nose-dived lately, which is seriously worrying. He was on great form last year but has been wildly inconsistent since the summer, and has been poor in the last few matches. He made an horrific error last night and was extremely lucky that the resulting goal didn't stand, and his panicked flapping whenever a cross has reached his box has generally filled me with terror. This might be the time to reward Fabianski for his recent performances with a couple starts over Christmas.

The good news is that Cesc won't be out for too long (at least according to Wenger) - on the evidence of last night, we seriously need him in away matches. The last thing we want after finally getting recognition as title contenders is for another of our key players to be out for ages. But for the meantime, I suppose there's always column inches to fill and flames to fan, so step forward Joan Laporta, who has been reassuring the Barcelona fans that a bid will be prepared for Fabregas in a few months' time.

I'm getting sick and tired of our players being used as pawns in the Barcelona club election campaigns. We should be looking into whether we have grounds to lodge a formal complaint with FIFA, because this cannot be legal. We've been bullied by Barca and Real in the past, but this Fabregas situation is becoming harrassment.

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Four to the Floor

2009-12-14T20:31:00.000Z

What a weekend: we're genuinely back in the title race, Chelsea's defence is crumbling, United are looking weak, Liverpool are in crisis... and the scum made fools of themselves at home to Wolves.

Wenger finally unleashed the tirade those players have needed for so long. It must have been like seeing a 6th form Chemistry teacher finally lose it; after years of trying to control misbehaving, underachieving kids and dealing with one distraction after another, the pressure finally got to him. Having to tell Senderos every five minutes to stop picking his nose or chewing gum in lessons; constantly needing to clean up the mess made by Manuel Almunia; trying to break up knife fights possibly initiated by Mark Randall; with all that and Cesc's phone constantly going off with texts from his mates in the Spanish class down the hall, no one could have blamed him for laying into them for fifteen minutes.

He had every reason to criticise at half-time - unlike the Chelsea or United matches, he had literally no one to turn on except for the players, who were being well and truly outclassed. We were lucky it was only 1-0, particularly after Gallas got away with a pretty clear penalty shout (although Liverpool should have been called offside before the play got that far) and Torres had placed a sitter right into Almunia's arms. Immediately after half-time, the boys looked sharper and played as if for their careers.

Arshavin really stepped up a gear. He closed down the Liverpool centre backs, covered all the ground that an out-of-sorts Theo Walcott failed to cover, and got himself involved in every play. His finish was simply sublime, and showed how he turn a game on its head with a moment of magic having been reasonably quiet beforehand. Fabregas kept himself so busy during the second half that, for once, he actually looked a bit tired towards the end. Armand Traore, after several dodgy performances in recent weeks, played very well, using his strength and pace to restrict Liverpool's right side to crosses from deep.

Alex Song was impeccable. Even in the first half when our defending was generally clumsy and his more experienced counterparts were making mistakes, he remained composed and often bailed the others out. At one point, Gallas got himself in a bind and found himself scrabbling wildly to clear the ball; unfazed, Song rolled his eyes, jogged back, calmly took the ball off him and walked it to safety. He has become a remarkably consistent player and has proved himself among a very small number of Arsenal players who can be expected to put in their very best week in, week out.

The midfield played well as a unit, with Fabregas and Denilson showing an almost telepathic understanding with Nasri in the later stages with some clever passing near the corner flag. Nasri is in great shape after the long lay-off, and is looking much faster - if he stays fit, he could be a vital player for us.

There are a few problems to address if we're to really go for it this season. Almunia looked a bit dodgy, and every single cross that came in worried me. The Liverpool goal wasn't really the fault of anyone in particular, but he might have handled it better rather than presenting them with a rebound. Walcott was fairly unhelpful, constantly losing possession and not looking confident at all, although he did cause problems for Glen Johnson and was in the right position to panic him and Carragher into giving us a hand. Vermaelen's marking worried me - he gave his opponents far too much room, and could easily have given them a free header before we equalised. But all of these problems seemed to have been more evident in the first half, and Wenger's words may well have gone some way towards dealing with them.

Anyway, we have plenty to be positive about this week. Burnely away will be tricky, but a good result at Turf Moor would be a strong signal to the rest of the Top Four, whoever the new number four may be...

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'The Gooner Review 08-09' Reviewed

2009-12-13T13:39:00.000Z

After some Spurs fan at the Post Office tried his very best to get in the way, I finally received the screener for the Gooner Review 08-09 this week, just in time to post a quick review before the UK orders deadline tomorrow.

I found the DVD entertaining and, above all, a comforting reminder that there were others suffering with me last year. It was a bit like watching a support group; an arena where everyone felt comfortable talking about a turbulent relationship they couldn't escape, with a moody, temperamental idol who was ignoring them and possibly hiding something from them.

But it also reassured me that there are others who have faith in the boss. Bob Wilson's account of the infamous shareholders meeting shows how the media can manipulate the smallest incident into an hysterical story, and interviews with fans on the street gave me hope that Wenger's contribution to the club over the years hasn't been forgotten.

The film features celebrity Gooners such as Clive and Joe Swift, Judge Jules and Shovell from M People, and is presented by comedian Paul Kaye. Each represent their own variety of fan: Shovell is the enthusiastic, boyish supporter; Judge Jules the purist; Clive Swift the old-school, no-nonsense traditionalist. There are also interviews with several football correspondents (including Amy Lawrence from the Guardian) and a couple of Arsenal legends, most notably Wilson, whose charity is receiving 100% of all profits from the Review. Consequently, there is a wide range of opinions and the film doesn't take on any particular mindset.

The Review is essentially a countdown of the top ten issues of the season, as voted by the fans. These include the captaincy situation and the signing of Andrey Arshavin, and some of the guests provide some interesting related stories. A couple of clips of Wenger in press conferences give him a chance to fight his corner, and a players' perspective from the likes of Perry Groves gives a new take on issues such as the Eboue booing. A notable shortcoming is the lack of footage, but blame the Premier League for that - they won't let businesses make money from their content, and apparently they won't let charities either...

For a diehard Gooner, this is great viewing. It won't appeal to fairweather fans, or those who prefer to simply watch the football; but the more obsessive supporter may actually prefer this to the official end of season DVD, particularly as the most important parts of the latter would be about as enjoyable as a car crash.

If you're struggling with a present for someone who's already been given half of the club gift shop over the last couple Christmases, I'd recommend giving this DVD. To see more information and to buy the film, pop over to http://www.thegoonerreview.com/. Remember, tomorrow's your last chance to place an order.

Here's hoping this afternoon at Anfield will provide some positive material for the 09-10 Review!

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First to Finish, Last to Start

2009-12-11T11:38:00.000Z

We can be pleased after a solid performance from the kids on Wednesday night, but ironically the biggest concerns were with two of the players who are already considered part of the first team squad - one of whom has just signed a new deal.

Vela's finishing was woeful, and it's becoming clear that he needs a bigger presence alongside him in the front three. He's played at his best when accompanied by Van Persie or Bendtner, and this season seems to have fit in better on the left side rather than the centre. He certainly lacks confidence without a more experienced strike partner. But I still understand Wenger's faith in him, and we've seen what the little guy can do, so I'm pleased he's been given a new contract. It's great that despite currently being on the fringes of the team, he trusts Wenger and knows that he will get the first team football he needs (hint to Fran...)

Walcott was a constant threat to the Olympiakos defence with his pace, but his first touch was seriously lacking. We can probably put that down to rustiness, but he should have done more with a couple of great Ramsey through balls. He tried one pass to Ramsey about five minutes after everyone watching (including the opposition defence) had anticipated it; this was one of several moments which suggested he's not ready to play on the left wing yet. I would have been interested in seeing Walcott moved to the middle and Vela shifted to his left, as I think Walcott might have made a better target for Ramsey and Merida's clever passes. In any case, he was far more assured when he played on the right, where he can rely on speed and can cross on his stronger foot without cutting back.

Frustratingly for someone who wishes to see a couple more English names in the team, another player who still seems to play at his best on the right is Jack Wilshere. He still needs to bulk up more if he is to start asserting himself in games - he was almost as quiet against Olympiakos as he was against Man City, but one clever jinking run through the area (from the right) deserved some notice. Bartley was fairly solid at centre-back, except for a rash tackle which led to the goal, and Thomas Cruise didn't really do anything wrong. Kerrea Gilbert, on the other hand, was dreadful - for a rightback, he has zero pace and zero acceleration, and a couple of times managed a slower turning circle than Mikael Silvestre with two broken legs. Fabianski had a good game, but panicked a bit when he conceded the goal.

On that note, I'll end with a quick mention to two goalkeepers. Congratulations to Sinan Bolat of Standard Liege for winning his team a place in the Europa League with a 95th minute headed equaliser. As for Jens Lehmann... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-C-ELPlAqAo&feature=related

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Assets and Targets

2009-12-04T10:54:00.000Z

Hands trembling, I opened the cheap, mustard-coloured folder and took out the few loose pages.

This was it. I was really about to see Arsenal's January transfer targets - information that I was never meant to see and that no other fan would lay eyes on. Without a moment's hesitation, I hurried across the room and scrambled through my stationery drawer. I took out a pen and notepad, locked my door, and returned to the folder.

I had a few minutes at most. I hastily flicked through the pages. Bureaucratic drivel about club contacts, information from the Premier League about player registration... The shortlist. I laid out the two pages of players' names on the table.

I pressed my pen onto the notepad, and quickly scanned the list. What was Arsene planning? Who was going to fill the void up front? Was he chasing a centre back to replace Senderos? Any back-up in defensive midfield?

My brow dropped.

No Edin Dzeko, no Mario Balotelli, no Brede Hangeland... who were these players?! I didn't recognise any of these names. No time to waste, I decided, and started jotting down the shortlist as quickly as I could. Maybe the big names were on the next page.

A player from Marseille, one from Partizan Belgrade, one from Celta Vigo, one from... Crewe Alexandra? Oh good God, we're signing more youth players. THIS is Arsene's big plan.

My attention was drawn to the bottom of the list. In the centre of the page, in bold, was our maximum expenditure for the window.

£4,200,000.

Absolute joke. I carried on copying down the names. Oh well, at least there's a few English and Irish names in the mix. I kept going and turned to the second page, hoping for the big names. Nope, more obscure French and Eastern European names. Wait...

That can't be right.

Arsene Wenger and a big name? More importantly, an international brand? Arsenal Football Club - in the market for this kind of signing?

That simply doesn't make sense.

...

The Arctic Monkeys?!

Was this some sort of gimmick? A ridiculous publicity stunt that could only backfire?

My heart pounding and my face flushing with fury, I awoke with a start and thanked God it wasn't real. In my post-dream daze, I at least figured out a relevant name for this shameless marketing ploy - the Arsenic Monkeys.

Anyway, the big news today will be the World Cup draw. England can (and therefore will) draw France or Portugal, and the likes of the Ivory Coast and Ghana make the third pot quite tricky. I'm just gutted that the US and North Korea can't be drawn together.

Back to club matters, and the amount of post-Carling Cup vitriol flying around the Internet is just laughable. This is the Carling Cup, where young players show whether they can hack it at a competitive level and where the likes of Cesc Fabregas, Gael Clichy and Robin van Persie have established themselves. Without it, our strategy of signing young players rather than trying in vain to compete for the biggest names with insufficient money (yes, insufficient - we might have money but we cannot afford to spend 25 or 30 million on anyone, let alone offer them a big enough contract to fend off the likes of Real Madrid, Man City and Chelsea) would be utterly pointless.

No team in the world with an average age of 20-22 would be able to win away at Man City, and most would lose by far more than three goals. But our young team has recorded some incredible feats in the last few years. For instance, they beat a pretty strong Liverpool team this season, and a couple of years ago they reached the final and came close against a full-strength Chelsea.

If we had won at Man City, some of the bloggers and fans who have been spouting nonsense over the last couple of days would have been swept along on the tide of euphoria. And when we got knocked out in the semi-finals by Man United or Aston Villa, they would have gone ballistic at Wenger anyway.

You and I both know that putting out a strong team in the Carling Cup would be utterly pointless. We most likely wouldn't win it anyway, especially with the likes of Man City, Aston Villa and Chelsea fielding full-strength line-ups when they need to. We would simply end up with even more injured first-team players, and would damage our chances in other competitions - I doubt we'd get all the way to the Champions League semi-final with a fatigued or injured Fabregas.

The Carling Cup also offers the opportunity for less well-off fans to go to games. At a tenner for the lower tier and twenty quid for the upper, not to mention dropping season-ticket-holder priority, the home games draw a capacity crowd consisting largely of genuine locals who can't afford to spend fifty quid on matches, but who have always supported Arsenal with a passion and have watched every single match by any other means possible.

Enough of that, here's hoping for an interesting World Cup tie, preferably with the undeserving France and the downright lucky Portugal getting lumped with Brazil, Spain or Italy. And here's hoping that at least a few of our first team can get through today's training session without any broken legs.

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The Gooner Review Christmas Bundles and Competition

2009-12-03T16:34:00.000Z

A quick note about the Gooner Review this Christmas. To anyone unfamiliar, the Gooner Review 08-09 is the popular alternative to the club's official end-of-season DVD, offering a fans' perspective on the most significant issues and moments of the season and featuring interviews with the likes of Nick Hornby, Bob Wilson, Peter Marinello, Judge Jules and Perry Groves.

100% of all profits go to Bob Wilson's charity, The Willow Foundation. The Foundation provides special days for seriously ill 16 to 40 year olds, and has to date funded and organised nearly 4,000 outings.

The Gooner Review are offering LIMITED EDITION Christmas bundles such as signed Bob Wilson caps, signed Peter Marinello books and The Gooner Review 08-09 DVDs from only 4.99 (plus p&p). For more information go to http://www.thegoonerreview.com/index.php?page=shop. The deadline for UK orders is Monday 14th December, and the deadline for international orders is TOMORROW.

In conjunction, they are running a Christmas competition at http://www.thegoonerreview.com/index.php?page=competition to choose the best Christmas Gooner wishes from fans. The best two entries will win The Gooner Review 08-09 DVD and a Gooner cap, both signed by Bob Wilson; the competition deadline is TOMORROW so get involved!

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Inevitable End

2009-12-03T15:06:00.000Z

Again I find myself pleading for a sense of perspective.

The kids were always going to lose last night. Their best opportunity came in the very first minute, and had we put that away, the pressure would have probably got to them eventually - in any case, City's tremendous reserves of firepower would have certainly turned the game around.

They didn't do themselves as much harm as a 3-0 scoreline might suggest. Fabianski wasn't at fault for any of the goals, Ramsey was still a force to be reckoned with in midfield, and Rosicky was engineering some silky attacks. Vela worked hard up front - and probably did better than Eduardo would have on current form - and Merida was bustling about as always. Eastmond shielded the defence well in the first half, although his lack of strength became a problem.

My main concerns were that Wilshere was kept very quiet, that Traore just doesn't appear as defensively solid as we need him to be, and that Song was dodgy for much of the game. The latter may be excused as he has become more accustomed to the DM role, but he showed yet again that he is incapable of marking properly at set pieces, particularly when he gave Adebayor a free header which he could and should have put away easily. Silvestre actually had a fairly decent game, but he was entirely to blame for Wright-Phillips' goal - he simply ran backwards in a straight line, gawping at the winger's feet and looking like a Pro Evo defender with the analogue stick jammed.

I'm not for a moment saying that this had anything to do with City's win, because they had the game pretty much wrapped up by then, but Craig Bellamy should not have been on the pitch by the time he set up Weiss' goal. I'm getting sick and tired of opposition players bullying the referee against us, and let's not beat around the bush, Chris Hoy (remember that name?) simply bowed to his demands. He was constantly screaming at him; no one likes to see it, the FA included, and it's about time referees started booking players for it. People can say what they like about Arsenal players, but one thing that they don't do is harrass the referee, and they didn't deserve to receive six yellow cards. Admittedly Song was extremely lucky not to be sent off for his last man block, but perhaps this was just Hoy getting all mixed up again and trying to please everyone.

Bellamy has always been a nasty piece of work, and when he continued to yell at a silent Wilshere immediately after shaking his hand he summed up his level of professionalism.

Speaking of which, I am embarrassed that Wenger ignored Hughes at the end. It's a simple rule of courtesy, you just shake hands at the final whistle. If your opponent has done something absolutely heinous, fair enough, but Hughes didn't do anything wrong except for disagree with him a few times and stray into our side of the technical area once. If Arsene wasn't friends with Red Nose he would never have shaken hands with him after some of the crap he's had to deal with at Old Trafford.

As for our trophy hopes, let's not start squabbling again after being knocked out of the Carling Cup quarter finals. To reach this stage of the competition with a team consisting entirely of youth players and back-ups is a tremendous achievement, and if we had won it, fans would still be rubbishing it as a second-rate trophy and clamouring for some real success.

I'm still very optimistic about this season. We've had a bad run, and judging from past years this tends to be followed by a considerable improvement in the second half of the season. We're having terrible injury problems, and they can only get better... surely?

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Injured Party

2009-11-27T13:23:00.000Z

After Walcott, Vela and Denilson came back, it was only fair that at least one more player be ruled out for a few months. It's not looking good at left-back, unless Armand Traore steps up his game. And as if Eliaquim Mangala's pretty vicious challenge on Gibbs wasn't damaging enough, Arshavin had to somehow injure one of our key defenders who is about eight times his size. Aside from that, he defended admirably for Liege, making a vital goalline clearance.

Wenger's got a lot of thinking to do before the Chelsea game. Whatever happens, he's likely to spring a surprise with his lineup, with things looking pretty bleak at the back. Senderos probably isn't an option if Gallas is out - he tends to not really understand what's going on in these fixtures - which leaves the reliable fans' favourite Silvestre to fit seamlessly into the defence as he always does, holding the offside trap and reacting quickly to through balls. Just to clarify, I'm pretty sure that Silvestre will single handedly throw this game for us.

Left-back is a trickier problem - do we keep faith with Traore after a dodgy performance against Sunderland, or move the more experienced but significantly slower Silvestre out from the middle? If so, that might require moving Song to centre back, where he tends to play very well when required, but we will need some midfield steel against Essien and Mikel.

With Diaby injured and Ramsey evidently not the player to complement Fabregas and Denilson, I should think that Wenger will keep Song in midfield. If Gallas isn't back in time, which unfortunately looks very likely, this is the lineup I expect he'll put out:

Almunia
Sagna
Traore
Vermaelen
Silvestre
Song
Denilson
Fabregas
Rosicky
Arshavin
Eduardo

I hope Rosicky starts because he's been excellent since he returned. Nasri or Walcott could well be in the forward three, but Walcott might be more useful as an impact sub when Chelsea inevitably turn sluggish in the second half. Arshavin's form has been patchy of late but he has a habit of saving his best for the big games, but Eduardo will be more difficult to predict. He's been shaky so far, but should be more confident after a successful international break.

Here's hoping 'short-ankled' Denilson can hit another screamer on Sunday...

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Hands Clean

2009-11-20T15:41:00.000Z

I expected Henry to eventually release a statement about Wednesday's match - after all, he wrote a letter to the Arsenal fans when he left - but never expected him to come out in support of calls for a replay. Most fans of this club knew and admired his character, and he has shown that he is still the same man. The handball was clearly "instinctive" as he says and, although I'm still unhappy about the way he celebrated the goal, the cheat tag is unfair.

FIFA were always going to say no to a replay, which leaves the FFF with the opportunity to save its national team's reputation. The world (minus Roy 'Ray of Sunshine' Keane) is clamouring for a replay - even several of their own politicians and celebrities agree - so hopefully the French will surrender to the pressure. (buh dum...)

Wenger's called for the use of video replays, which have been given another boost by this whole mess. I disagree. I still believe extra linesmen (one behind each goal line) are the answer; they would be very unlikely to miss handballs or penalty shouts seeing as that would essentially be their job. The most important thing to bear in mind when considering video replays is how they could feasibly be used throughout football. Yes, they would make the top leagues in the top countries a lot fairer, as well as international matches, but what about the less lucrative leagues below? How could Woking possibly challenge an injury time penalty shout against Bromley in the Conference South when their stadium barely has the facilities to let fans sit down? It's simply not practical, and although they're still not completely precise (hell, even the odd video replay doesn't help), extra linesmen would still prevent situations like this, and so I hope they're a success in the Europa League this season.

As for that club I sometimes talk about, Wenger says that Fabianski, Traore and Vela are all off the injured list and Denilson and Walcott should be in the squad for tomorrow, so we should be able to scrape together a starting XI by the time the nice men from the Ledley King care home come back for Robin. Maybe, just maybe, Sunderland won't be the disaster we were expecting.

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